Pastor questions his porn legalism and then stops thinking

James Emory White is a pastor in Charlottesville NC.  He writes an article asking “Is Pornography Really Wrong?”  I thought, wow, this is amazing, a pastor who actually asks the question.

Sadly, it’s only pretend.  The question was only asked as a trick to get people to read the same disproved points that the legalists have been trying to push for years.

  1. It is lust — Not it isn’t.  No Jesus did not tell you that you couldn’t look at anything that turned you on.  He told you not to LUST.  Lust is desire out of control.  If you don’t make plans, or wish you could get into a woman’s pants, you haven’t lusted.  Admiring her body is not lust
  2. It is addictive — No it isn’t.  The American Psychiatric Association has spoken on this repeatedly.  But this isn’t the pastor’s real problem.  If he really thought that ANY thing that was addictive was sinful, then he would be railing against processed sugar and caffeine.  To substances that don’t cause any problems in people’s lives but are, unquestionably, addictive
  3. It is degrading to women — Not all of it is.  If this is his problem, then he ought to be directing his men to HolyErotica.com  because it doesn’t have degrading porn.
  4. “Studies show” It leads to other sins (specifically rape) —   Absolute and total nonsense.  There is no study that shows such a thing.  He doesn’t bother to actually link to any of these “studies”
  5. It harms your relationship with your spouse —- According to him, Porn causes you to stop have sex with your wife.   This is nonsense, and many, many studies have proven this repeatedly.  For example, read this post.
  6. It desensitizes your soul —- or, makes God pull away from you because you are sinning.  This is called “Begging the Question”  or “Presuming the consequent”  He presumes porn is wrong and then uses that presumption to claim that God will be displeased, therefore porn must be wrong.  Erotica is wrong because he presumes it is wrong.
  7. It reduces sex to lust — This is the most annoying point of all.  He acts like erotic desire is lust.  This is falling for the lie of the world.  Lust and erotic desire are not related.  If I desire my wife I do not LUST for her.  This is the old dualistic “spirit” and “body” heresy.  He would recognize that as a heresy if he read it in any other context.

This pastor has the same objectivity when talking about erotica as CNN has about President Trump.

Seven things for Christians to do after they jack off to porn

The anti-erotica legalists are almost all women.  But occasionally a man who has been indoctrinated to hate himself writes something.  Today I will link to one of these poor souls.

According to this pH D at Moody Bible Institute, this is what you do after watching porn.  He is wrong, but because he is a man, he actually understands a couple things.

  1. Recognize it is Satan’s fault (LOL)
  2. Fight Self-hatred (induced by your shame because of what other people told you)
  3. Fight the haze (Don’t relax, because you must be always tense to be a christian)
  4. Guard others (apparently you are now an incipient rapist, just waiting to anally rape anyone)
  5. Confess to friend (so he can feel better about HIS porn use)
  6. Use your clarity for good. (Apparently, now that your balls are empty, you can use your frontal lobe again)
  7. Know your God (pray and pray until you get horny the next time)

Poor, sad, deluded man.  His whole life is about porn.  He lives in between his porn use episodes in a haze of shame, confession, trying to find new restrictions that will stop him next time, anguished prayer and self-flagellation, and then, inevitably, the next porn episode.

How much better would it be if he simply accepted the Bible standard.  Erotic desire is the natural and holy part of life.  Instead of trying to force himself to not have testicles, he could have rejoiced in it, shared this part of his life with his wife, and spent his freed-up energy to help his fellow man.

Why Christian Erotica is about holiness and not fornication

The purpose of Christian Erotica is to increase Christian Marital Sex and Intimacy

I was recently contacted by a young man who wanted me to help him find a way to have internet sex with women.  He didn’t want to find a girlfriend and he wasn’t searching for a wife, he just wanted to have meaningless and faceless sex.

I didn’t help him.  Because that is not what this site and it’s companion site HolyErotica.com is about.

I maintain these sites (even though I make no money and actually spend money on them) because I believe in Christian marriage, Christian sex, and  Christian intimacy.

Like all men, I dreamed of sex from a very young age.  I asked God to please not return in the rapture before I could have sex.  I was a virgin horn dog.  But I didn’t get to kiss a girl until well after high school.   The girls probably sensed the hormones coming off of me and ran for their lives.

Because I needed sex so much, I sought desperately for a wife.  I found a great one.    It turns out that she was just as much of a horny virgin as I was.   Otherwise she would never have married a broke college student.

You see, marriage is almost never a practical idea, just a good one.    The reason that we got married is because that was the only holy way to get lots and lots of sex.

And it did us well.  Marriage is never practical but it is very good for people.  It is not practical for a man to have to work long hours because he has responsibilities, but “it is not good for a man to dwell alone.”   It is not practical to have a baby with his wife, but it is good for him, his wife, and their child.

The purpose of Holy Erotica is not to provide an alternative to seeking a wife or to having sex with your wife.  It is intended to help you be more sexual with the wife that God intends you to have.   For single men, it is intended to make you want a wife more and too seek one out.  “He that FINDETH a wife findeth a good thing.”  And FINDING requires SEARCHING.  Porn with masturbation does not DECREASE a man’s desire for a woman.  It doesn’t “drain his balls” and “give him relief.”  Did you honestly think it did?  It makes him want a woman.  If he is a Christian, it makes him want a wife.

Having said all of that.  I know that almost all of the readers are yelling at their computer screen – “BUT THAT ISN’T THE WAY IT WORKS ANYMORE”   I know that.  I am a psychiatrist and I hear stories daily that would give you nightmares.  I know that this is not 1950 anymore.  I realize that people can find sex easily.  They can buy it  within a few hours and with a little more effort they can use the online apps to find hookups.  Quality sex robots are only months away.

Here is the key, the Bible was not written in 1950.  The ancient world had pervasive sexuality also.  Slaves had no rights and could be used at will.  Temple prostitutes were cheap.   Privacy was non-existent and nudity abounded.    Yet Paul tells the Corinthians “Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.” (I Cor 6:15)  In the midst of the Vegas of the ancient world.    God expected people to live like they were in 1950’s America.

I like sex.  I like to watch videos about sex, read stories about sex, and look at pictures of sex and sexy people.    This has done me well, because I have a great wife who I can be sexually intimate with.  We are close and become closer because of all of the sex that we have.  This is the purpose of erotica, this is the purpose of sex, and this is the purpose of marriage.

On sexual harassment and “immodest clothes”

Sexy workplace attire
Oh my! She’s a WOMAN!

Rush Limbaugh’s undeniable truth of life:  “The Women’s movement was formed to give ugly women access to the mainstream”

Instapundit notes that democrat Congresswoman Kaptur of Ohio has decided that women are dressing too immodestly in the workplace and this is why they are being harassed.

The fact is that, no matter where you draw the line, some women are going to be more attractive and dress more “immodestly” than others, and these women will get more positive attention than others.  The people who resent this the most are the other (especially ugly) women.

Congresswoman Kaptur (D-Ohio). For example

The muslims in sharia countries get erections when they see a woman’s bare face.  So, I am sure that the women of Afghanistan gossip about the young beautiful wife who wears her burqas too tight.

I know this is so because I used to belong to a strict evangelical church where the women were required to wear loose, long skirts and long sleeves.  There were still “immodest” girls who pushed the line by wearing high heels or who wore their long hair in particularly attractive styles. Who enforced the dress code most strongly?  The other women.

Religion versus Christianity

During Jesus’ ministry, he was not the most HOLY person around.  Christianity is not like today’s Republican politics, where the person who can claim to be the most conservative wins the prize.   Christianity consists of loving Christ and growing in health together with him.

Today’s Pharisee position is that erotica is wrong.  This is the “holy” position.  It doesn’t matter that the Bible doesn’t back that position.  All that matters is that being against erotica is Religious and Holy.

But if a man truly wants to be in tune with Christ, he should stop trying so hard to fight against the erotic nature that God intended him to have.  Instead of fighting this “temptation” he ought to shape it and mold it into the image of Christ.   He should encourage his erotic nature to direct itself toward females and in particular one female – his current or future wife.  “Porn” (more properly called Erotica) is a natural and holy part of that.

Exciting news for middle aged marriages – Viagra goes Generic

Viagra Is Now Generic

My young adult son doesn’t know why this is such great news for marriages.  Let me explain.

A large percentage of men (nearly half) begin to develop occasional erectile dysfunction as they get older.  For a marriage, this is slow motion death.  As he has to work harder and harder (haha yeah, funny) to get it up his wife and he start having less sex.  This often, very often, becomes a chronic situation where they don’t have sex for months and years at a time.

Unfortunately, he is still horny.  The fact that his arteries are smaller and his blood pressure is higher doesn’t have anything to do with his real libido.   And when he is really horny, he can still maintain something of a stiffy.   So the cute girl from his office with stars in her eyes for the man with income security suddenly starts looking better.

This would never have happened if he had access to viagra or, even better, cialis.   His wife and he would still be going at it like the bunny rabbits they always were.  This is especially true if she lets him look at erotica and then jumps his bones.

Some of you men may be concerned about how hard (ha ha) it is to get a prescription.  The answer is that any doctor will write you a prescription in a minute.  In fact, when I talk to a middle aged patient, one of the standard questions that I SHOULD be asking is about erectile dysfunction.  If he has a problem and there isn’t any special reason why I shouldn’t give him cialis, I do so.  In fact, Cialis for daily use is approved for treatment of benign prostate problems (which most middle aged men ALSO have).   I have written many scripts for this.  It is cheap and insurance will cover it.

So, don’t be ashamed.  Be a man, go to your doctor, get some pills and get some wood!  Then reignite your marriage!

Best of Holy Erotica 12/12/2017

For Christian men who like to get turned on and make love to their wives.  Here are a few of my favorite links of the week.

Cowboy sex

A Tennis Skirt that rides up high

For fans of old music and sex

Remember when Christian men couldn’t have black wives?

And some just really, good, sensual, bedroom sex

Enjoy, and remember that the best sex is holy sex with your wife.  Keep it hanging holy.

 

The New Christian Girly-man

Evangelical Girly Man
The New Evangelical Womans ideal jawline. Weak and easily manipulated.

The feminization of the church is never more clear than watching the evangelical chick-flick rom-coms.  Here, for example is the Mounty from Hallmark Channel’s “When Calls The Heart”.   His eyes are watery.  I’m sure that this actor is very good at quoting poetry (probably to his boyfriend at their wedding!)   See the weak jawline?

This mounty has a real jaw!

But everyone knows that a mounty has a square shape.  He’s a man.  He’s not afraid to stand alone.

What’s next?  A Texas ranger with soft skin?

No wonder these women expect their husbands to never look at a woman.  Their husbands have clear cut their balls off and placed them in their wife’s makeup bag.

Lying in order to support a “Christian” position

Christian White Lies
Lying in the defense of the faith is not Christian and not “white”

In this article a wife defends divorcing her husband because he was “addicted” to porn.  What’s more, she dedicates the rest of her life to writing and convincing other women to divorce their husbands for being men.

But to her sin of taking the Lords name in vain she adds another sin: Hypocritical Lying

Here’s what she says about “porn addiction”

A 2011 article on the neuroscience of pornography in the journal of Surgical Neurology International summarized the research and concluded, “Just as we consider food addiction as having a biologic basis, with no moral overlay or value-laden terminology, it is time we looked at pornography and other forms of sexual addiction with the same objective eye.”

This seems to add the confirmation of science to her contention that watching porn is an “addiction.”  However, if you actually click the link and discover what the article is saying, it is talking about pedophilia, not porn.   The article was making the point that the pre-frontal cortex can be changed by behaviors and not only by chemicals.  It does NOT make the point that pornography is addictive.   In fact, the American Psychiatric Association and all of the other scientific groups have gone out of their way to say that pornography use is NOT addictive.  They have published multiple articles on this and many studies.

So why does this wife tell this lie?  Because she wanted to divorce her husband and wanted to have a “holy” reason to do so.

According to my understanding, the only adultery in that wife’s marriage was her.  It is a shame that our churches are led by this sort of evil.