Sex is for marriage and in marriage. That is foundational

I have received some feedback that worries me a little.  Some of my readers of and viewers of appear to be under the impression that I believe that sex is not about marriage.

Let me make myself clear.  Sex is for the purpose of binding together a couple in intimacy.  It teaches us what a closer union with each other is like, and therefore what our eternal union with Christ (as his bride) will be something like.

The key, here, is intimacy.  “Sexual Freedom” as it was interpreted by the ’60’s hippies, meant that humans should behave like Bonobo monkeys.  Do it any time, anywhere, with anyone.   I have patients who have attempted to live that lifestyle.  I cannot describe for you how “hard” these patients are.  It is almost impossible to form a therapeutic relationship with them.  Their souls have been bonded and then ripped apart so many times that they are like teflon.

I often tell women who are in this condition, “I do need to know if you have been sexually traumatized, but I don’t need to know the details right now.  I am a stranger to you, and I do not want you to share with me all of the secrets of your heart – only to not see me again for months.   This would not be healthy for you, and I am here for your health.”

This is not to say that I am against solo masturbation.  This behavior maintains erotic desire for single people and for married people who cannot be together right then.  It is allowed for in the old law and not condemned in the new.

I also believe that a couple’s intimate moments can be filmed and shared with others without breaking or weakening the bond between the two.   Solomon did not weaken the bond of the Shunamite beauty by writing about it in the Song of Solomon.  He rather wrote about how strong it can be.

Song 8:7 Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.

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