Church fellowship groups – never about men

Man-free and female led
Few men show up

Looked in the church bulletin this morning and saw the same thing that was in every bulletin.  Events this week for the high school teens, the college youth, and the women’s weekly fellowship.

Hmm, do you notice who was left out?  The men, of course.  There was no place for the men to socialize.  There were no hunting, fishing, or four-wheeler/camping trips.  There were no trips to see sports games or monster trucks.

Do you think that men stay home all week and don’t go out with their friends?  Of course not.  The young men are hitting the single’s scenes (They are certainly not showing up to the “college youth” meetings.  Who wants to be sneered at as a sex-addict and probable future “emotional abuser”)

Their are lots of social events that men go to, but none of them are sponsored by the church.  There are soccer groups, bowling leagues, amateur baseball teams.  There are hunting groups, fishing friends, and bars where men can just hang out, drink beer, play cards, and talk about women.  Men get together to go to the rodeo or see wrestling or monster trucks.   None of these are approved by our new female-led churches.  We are more likely to be told that we have to go on “Daniel Fasts” that don’t include meat.  Certainly we can’t drink beer or talk about sports and boobies.

But the fact is that men have always done these things and always will.  The masculine pursuits are as Godly as weight-watchers and diabetes education workshops.  Jesus and his 12 disciples, along with the many other disciples including wives and single women, spent time in the wilderness, resting just before the crucifixion week.  I guarantee you that during that time there was some wine drinking, some wrestling, some races, and I think that the married couples did a lot of humping and the singles flirted.

This is not how the modern church treats its men.  It sneers at sweat, hunting, and bloody sports.  It treats their God-given sex-drive as an addiction.

Oh, by the way, there was one event scheduled that the men were encouraged to go to – Celebrate Recovery.  The church wants them to deal with their “addictions.”

What “Christians” will do when faced with an argument they can’t answer

When faced with a question they can’t answer, here is how some “Christians” react

So, someone reading this site didn’t like what I said.  So, instead of answering with a reasoned argument, they went through all of the posts and found an image that they thought I had improperly used, contacted the picture owners and attempted to get me fined.

Since this site is free, makes no money, and actually costs me money, this is an attempt to shut me down.

It didn’t work.  I inline link – not copy – images.  So no copyright infringement exists.

But what is so sad is that this person, who identifies himself or herself as a servant of Christ, would rather anonymously punish someone who disagrees rather than discuss.  It is the tactics of Hell and not of Heaven.  It is the tactics of repression and not the tactics of American freedom.

I suspect that this person would quote Matt 5:28 about looking on a woman with lust but didn’t seem to read 3 verses above

Mat 5:23-24 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;  Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.

But this supposed Bible believer didn’t even have the courage to leave a comment before trying to call the courts down on me.  This is a sad commentary on the state of today’s church.  Opinions have taken the place of Bible, hatred has replaced love, and attacks the place of reasoned debate.

#Christianity, #Masculinity, and #Pornography

Holy Men are Erotic
The Masculine Christian

The feminized church can no longer imagine what a masculine Christianity ever was or should be.

David, the man after God’s own heart, was as hypersexual as any man in history.  God rebuked him only for stealing his friend’s wife.  Michelangelo’s famous statue is not a picture of a girly-man.

Paul could preach so strongly that he was stoned.  He did not express “empathy” and he did not “help hurting people.”  He preached the gospel – a gospel that made men so mad that they stoned him.

Jesus did not back down to Pilate.  He did not try to find common ground.  He did not try to understand where Pilate was coming from.  Instead he told him that “for this cause came I into the world, that I should bear witness unto the truth.”

When the famous circuit rider of Colorado, Father John L Dyer, had a man come to church and mocking the altar call, he told him, “You came in the door, but you are going out the window.”  This man, called “The snowshoe itinerant” traveled across the continental divide all winter in order to preach the gospel.

Any of these men would not be welcome in today’s church.  They were not sufficiently “nurturing.”  David would have been forced to confess his sex “addiction”  Paul would have been called “divisive.”  Jesus, himself, would have been counseled about how to be more “seeker-friendly”

It is time we took back Christianity.  I don’t think that we can change the church be “becoming involved”  I think we can change the church by standing up on feet, expressing our masculinity without apology or fear and proclaiming that we love Christ, we love being a man, and yes, we like sex.

View the videos on HolyErotica without fear or guilt.  Be a man to your wife.  Be a man in the church.  She will love and respect you the more for refusing to be a hypocrite and the church will learn what it means to see a man.

The Erotic Gaze didn’t start after Al Gore invented the internet

Boys like to look at girls
Looking is not lust. It’s just looking

Great post at Vintage Everyday  “49 Old Photos of Men Staring at Women in the Past” (Hat tip Instapundit )

Despite the wild interpretations of Matt 5:28.  God never intended men to not look at women erotically.  “Be Angry and Sin Not” is an equivalent statement to “Look but don’t touch”

Because we gave the territory of erotic desire over to Larry Flynt and Hugh Hefner, the erotica industry is populated only with people promoting lust, licentiousness, adultery and fornication.  But it shouldn’t be so.  There ought to be thousands of internet sites that are filled with Christian married couples making beautiful sex tapes which other single people and married couples can view.  There is no command in the Bible for the prudishness foisted on us by our Victorian ancestors.  The Bible commands us to flee fornication and flee youthful lusts.  But that doesn’t mean that a young man should flee sexual desire.  In fact, if a young man does not have strong sexual urges, he needs to visit a psychiatrist (like me 🙂 to find out what is wrong.   That desire is what leads him to seek a wife and become a responsible husband.

By making masculinity unholy, the church has driven good men from the church and made others live their lives in unnecessary guilt.

Take back erotica.  Look at sites like HolyErotica and start some sites of your own.  Make some holy sex tapes and share them, or sell them.  Take back sex from the lust-peddlers.

I’m a christian who watches porn – as God intended

Christian Men watching porn
All men – especially Christian men – watch porn. There is nothing wrong with that

So you’re a sincere Christian man and you have looked at porn your entire life.  You feel terribly guilty about this.  Your prayers are hindered as a result.  All of the “Men’s retreats” at your church concentrate on one subject and one subject only  – “Pornography Addiction”.   You have tried giving it up multiple times.  You confessed to your pastor and got an “accountability partner.”  After the first couple of times you stopped telling him how you have “fallen” again.  Maybe you even lost him as a friend as a result.

You feel all alone, because your church has placed you on a merry-go-round of eternal guilt.  After decades of trying to beat your “porn addiction” you sense that you will always watch it.  Maybe you even dropped out of church, since you knew that you must not be a Christian.  Christians should be able to overcome at least one addiction!

You have fallen prey to the modern Pharisees. You have been duped into a falsehood.  There is no command in the Bible telling you to avoid erotic stories or images.  In fact, the opposite is true.  The Bible is full of erotica.  It describes and treats masturbation just like it treats sex, pregnancy, and menstruation – as normal parts of a holy life.   The command to avoid pornography is man’s tradition, not God’s command and certainly not Bible.

Here are the links proving that you are a good Christian with whom God is well-pleased.

It is NOT Lust

It is NOT Addiction

It is Healthy

The Taboo on Porn is Man’s Tradition

God wrote Porn

Continue to be a Man

Jerk off with Joy

Here is a website with only Holy Porn for your enjoyment

Great link by #Instapundit. A #Wife should be encouraged to look good

A Wife's nice ass
A wife in some nice tight blue jeans

Glenn Reynolds at Instapundit links to an article that says wives should encourage their husbands erotic desires by looking as good as they can.

I most certainly agree, as does my wife (who keeps me encouraged all of the time 🙂

Why #Christian #Pornography is healthy for men and couples

Porn is Healthy For Couples
A Husband is drawn closer to his wife when he views Erotica

So, it is my position that Christian men can view what is considered pornography (wrongly called, it should be erotica) without being wrong.   I say this for three reasons.  Firstly, holy erotica is God-ordained and inspired.  Secondly, it is healthy.  Thirdly, sincere holy men have been looking at “dirty” art for thousands of years without our religion being destroyed.

Firstly,  Erotica is God-ordained.   The Bible includes everything necessary for a Christian life.  God knew that people would be angry at life’s injustices, so he put in the book of Job.  He knew that people would question him, so he put in many of the Psalms and the book of Habakkuk.  He knew that people would feel hopeless as they approached old age, so he put in the book of Ecclesiastes.  Proverbs is filled with miscellaneous advice on thousands of important subjects.

And God knew that single people should be reminded how wonderful married love is, and he knew that married people would need to encourage their sexual desire so that it would not become humdrum.  So he put in the play of the Song of Solomon that includes nudity, erotica, and explicit sexual imagery.  Solomon had this play performed live in his court – in short – he had live sex shows, since video hadn’t been invented yet.  God included this “porn” (actually erotica) in his Bible for a reason.  That reason is to inform us that in our railing against adulter and fornication we should not forget that marital sex was invented by God for the pleasure of his people.

Secondly, Erotica is healthy.  Despite what you read about from non-physician, non-psychiatrist, pseudo-experts like “YourBrainOnPorn” Gary Wilson; studies do NOT show that your brain is harmed by viewing erotica.  In fact, a recent study showed that couples who overcome the imposed guilt of the legalistic churches were drawn closer together, even if the erotica was viewed alone.  If brains were truly damaged so badly by porn, then the 70% of men who ADMIT that the view porn regularly and the 29% who lie about it would be wandering the streets waiting to murder and rape women.   And yet, most marriages seem to survive and thrive in spite of these poor husbands’ brains being destroyed.  We would like to provide a study showing that marriages survive more when men view porn, but we can’t find any men who don’t watch porn.   The “Porn Addiction” so much quoted by these pseudo-experts simply doesn’t exist, which is why the psychiatrists did not include it as a diagnosis in the newly released Diagnostic Statistical Manual 5(DSM5).  Vegetarians want to define bacon as an addiction, and the new puritans want to define erotica as an addiction.  Neither is.

Thirdly, sincere Christian men are already viewing porn.  Yes, I know, Christians sin all the time.  But if the Holy Spirit is really guiding ANY Christians and God hates porn so much, then SOME of them should be overcoming.  Yet the studies show that there is no difference between the porn viewing habits of proclaiming Christians and non-believers.  That is because God is not helping men to overcome an act that he never forbade.

The church, dominated the dear sisters who don’t understand the biological desire that God gave all men  keep trying to accomplish the impossible.  The natural result is a church empty of men.  Pastors who counsel marital couples when the husbands porn “addiction” is discovered actually destroy the marriage.

Oh what peace we often forfeit, Oh what needless pain we bear.  All because we do not trust that Jesus, the eternal word of God, actually knew what he saying when he said:

Prov 5:19 Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.

Things Most Surely Believed

Hot girl believes in Jesus
Christians believe in Jesus

Lu 1:1 Forasmuch as many have taken in hand to set forth in order a declaration of those things which are most surely believed among us,

To listen to the sermons and read the web pages of the modern evangelical church, you would think that the principles of the gospel are freedom from “addictions” and helping people overcome their “hurts”.

Not long ago I passed a small church with a sign out front that said, “We help hurt people.”   I thought, yeah, you probably do.  People come to you for help and you help to hurt them.

I once attended a church in the Texas panhandle who thought that the principles of the gospel were to keep the women in “modest” apparel – long baggy dresses with long sleeves.  To keep their hair long and uncut.  To keep them from wearing jewelry which might gain attention.  In short, to keep women as uglified as possible in order to keep the men of the church from lusting after them.

This worked as well as you might imagine.  The pastor snuck off to Lubbock to look at porn and purchase prostitutes.  He slavered after the young wives of the church, committed adultery with them, and broke up their marriages.  He felt guilty about these things, of course.  He went to other pastors in towns to confess his sins in order to attempt to use “accountability” to recover from his “addiction.”  It didn’t work.  – Of course, it didn’t work.   Making up your own gospel never does.

The principles of the gospel – those things “most surely believed” are not the things MOST IMPORTANT TO US.  Just because we have been raised in the prudish Victorian principles of anti-erotica, and just because our God-given biology forces us to behave in opposition to these unscriptural principles, does not mean that these are the things MOST IMPORTANT TO GOD.

God cares about the gospel.  Jesus came to tell us God’s word.  He didn’t come to back up the Pharisees in their traditions.  The Gospel of Jesus is about dying for our sins, being resurrected for our regeneration, promising us that he will return for our hope of the resurrection.  The sins that he wishes to deliver us from are Adultery, Fornication, Hatred, Murder, Rioting, Drunkeness (Galations 5:19-20) not “addictions.”  He came to give us the source of the fruits of the Spirit – Love, Joy, Peace, etc.  We help people overcome their addictions (the true addictions, I mean) because they prevent the fruits of the spirit from being expressed in their lives.  But the centrality of the Gospel is not MEN but GOD.  It is about Jesus and our relationship to him.

The Church must return to preaching the gospel instead of being a self-help group guided only by Pop Psychology that has no source in either the gospel or science.

Erotica – or what today we inaccurately call porn – is, as God showed us in the Song of Solomon, part of a healthy lifestyle.   If we are guided by Scripture, the we would be promoting Holy Erotica (as I do in my website HolyErotica.com)

Today’s church is being seduced, like the foolish Galations so long ago, into believing a gospel of works.  That living a Christian life means living and talking about Jesus, not running around talking about the most current fad to preach against.

A #Porn Site for Christians to use #HolyErotica .com

The holy beauty of the female form

I have just launched HolyErotica.com.  It   I have launched this site for the purpose of providing Christians with depictions of pure, loving, and holy sex.  Here is my mission statement for the site.


What is “Holy Erotica”

Holy Sex is between a husband and a wife.   God intended men (and women) to be excited by the thought of sex.  He intended us to be excited about beautiful bodies and the thought of sex with them.  There is nothing wrong and everything right about us enjoying written and visual depictions of sex.   But these depictions should either be depictions of holy sex or if the sex is unholy, then the depiction ought to include an unattractive end result of sin – which is sorrow, pain, and death.

 

Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God created he him; male and
female created he them.

 

Sex should be beautiful, pure, loving, and kind.  It should not involve more than two people.  It should not include humiliation, bondage or pain.  Both people involved in the erotic depiction should appear to love one another and enjoy the act.

 

Song of Solomon 8:7 Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.

 

Good art depicts the ideal, the perfect.  So Holy Erotica will show perfect sex.  Of course, in real life perfection does not exist, but that doesn’t mean I want to see imperfection.  I don’t watch romantic movies where they live unhappily ever after and I don’t watch porn that has pimpled, ugly, fat, and old people.  If I wanted to see an old fat guy having sex I would put a mirror on my bedroom ceiling.

 

Our imaginations were intended to be on holy and pure things.  So the videos on this site will show pure sex, between two people or one person with their own self, in its most pure form.

 

Phillippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

 

I know that most porn is produced by unmarried partners, but the sex act, itself is holy.  Just as a beautiful meal can be consumed by a glutton, so also the holy act of sex can be participated in by sinful people.  In my mind, the sex depicted is presumed to be marital  – I don’t ask for marriage certificates.

 

I Corinthians 10:27-28 If any of them that believe not bid you to a feast, and ye be disposed to go; whatsoever is set before you, eat, asking no question for conscience sake.  But if any man say unto you, This is offered in sacrifice unto idols, eat not for his sake that shewed it, and for conscience sake: for the earth is the Lord’s, and the fulness thereof:

 

If, in the depiction, the participants state that they are unmarried, then that video will not be intentionally on this site.

 

So, the “porn” (really erotica) on this HolyErotica.com site are going to be either solo or between (presumably) married couples who love one another and are mutually enjoying the act.  If there is any gagging, “make her swallow”, spanking, BDSM, anal, gang-bangs or other humiliating acts, and (of course) underage sex, then it is by accident and I would appreciate being contacted and informed of my oversight.

Despite the claims of the “porn addiction” crowd, I have viewed porn for over four decades without any desire to “escalate” to depraved acts.  I love sex with my wife as much today as I did on our marriage day when we gave our virginity to each other.  We both enjoy it a lot more than we did that night because we have gained some skills in the intervening decades – some of those skills were gained by watching “porn.”

 

Yes, a real marriage can compete with porn

The ideal Narnia
Imagining Narnia does not make me despise the Rockies

One of the most arguments against christian married couples enjoying porn together is that the artificial perfection of the women and couples in porn will make the couple unsatisfied with the imperfections in each other.

This argument does not stand up to examination.  Firstly, that is not the experience of couples who watch porn.  Secondly, this argument isn’t used in any other situation.  Thirdly, imagining the ideal is precisely what Christians and Jews have taught as the proper behavior for thousands of years.

Let’s take these one at a time.

Couples who watch porn do not experience decreased desire for each other.

I want some sex now
Looking at perfect couples makes me desire to be a perfect couple

Here is the argument as presented by the “Porn Addiction” specialists.

  1. Porn is an addiction
  2. Addiction results in more need and less desire
  3. Couples who use porn will be less attracted to each other

The article I link to above is by a licensed counselor who quotes peer-reviewed studies to prove his position.  But, like the other porn-addiction advocates, he selectively quotes the studies and misrepresents them.  In this case, in order to prove point 3 he quotes a 2013 study by Staley and Prouse.  “Erotic Viewing Effects on Intimate Relationships and Self/Partner Evaluations

The anti-porn advocate selectively quotes from the “question” part of the study that asks whether erotica-viewing will reduce marital desire.  He then leaves out the results of the study – which contradicts his pre-determined conclusion.  After studying 34 couples who were tested after viewing erotic and non-erotic stimuli.  Here is what the authors wrote.

Participants viewing both the erotic and exciting films reported equivalent increases in excitement; however, the erotic film was rated as slightly more generally arousing and increased participant's desire to be close to their partner...viewing erotic films led to more positive evaluations of one's own sexual behaviors. 

In short, the study states that couples who watched erotica – whether singly or alone – desired each other more.  Of course they did.   They got turned on by the fantasy and wanted some of the real thing from each other.

But why is this.  Shouldn’t the fantasy make the reality less desirable?  No

We use fantasy models all the time

The ideal increases desire for the prosaic
This does not decrease my desire for imperfect food

Remember the wax fruit craze of the ’70’s.  My mother put out a bowl of wax fruit as decoration.  Did you ever try to bite into it?  Well, I did.  Mom was not happy.  I discovered that models rarely taste as good as they look.   Nevertheless, those perfect-looking waxed fruits did whet my desire for real fruit.  If something can LOOK that good, surely somewhere there is something that TASTES that good.

When I go to the department store to buy clothes, I am surrounded by mannequins modelling those clothes.  I know perfectly well that there are no male bodies with perfect abs like that outside of Hollywood (I’ll give you Chris Hemsworth).  I certainly don’t look that nice.  Yet I buy those polo shirts anyway.  The store knows that showing me the ideal will increase my desire for the everyday.

When I watch Grey’s Anatomy with my wife, she knows perfectly well that I will never approach the manly perfection displayed

I Don’t Look McDreamy in my white coat

 

And I don’t look McSteamy OUT of my white coat

But I have gotten my bones jumped a few times after the episode!

Christians believe in Platonic Ideals

School of Athens
Plato taught the heavenly idea.

My point is that healthy brains are perfectly capable of distinguishing between the ideal and the prosaic.  In fact, that is the way our brain works.  We name things by the ideal.  When Adam named the animals, he didn’t name them for ranges of attributes.  (Four legged animal that eats grass, chews cud, and gives milk – coming in a range of colors and sizes) but rather for an ideal (this cow is larger than usual, with black and white spots instead of uniform brown).

As Judea-Christian philosophers, we believe that heaven contains the models of things that exist on earth.  The perfect marriage is Christ and the Church.  Contemplating this perfect love does not cause me to love my wife less, but more.

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

So also, contemplating the perfect sex causes me to love sex with my wife more

Perfect sex fantasy

I know that the sex models aren’t actually that perfect.  That a guy cannot maintain an erection that long, that my wife isn’t going to moan that excitedly.  That we aren’t both going to have simultaneous orgasms very often.   I certainly know that I am not endowed with that many inches.

But that doesn’t keep me from using the inches that God endowed me with to please her and make her as happy as any porn star ever thought of being.