Porn use decreases adultery

Use porn to stop adultery
Porn use decreases adultery

According to the popular view.  Porn use causes an increase in infidelity and bad sexual behavior.  It is wrong.

According to Megan McCardle, writing in Bloomberg,  Having an affair is going out of style.

She writes

And yet, when you peer closer at the data, it turns out that extramarital sex is changing before our very eyes. While the overall rate of people reporting extramarital flings is the same, the demographics of the people who report the adultery are changing dramatically. And not necessarily in the direction you might think.

The millennials, with their Tinder and their sexting and their God-knows-what-they-get-up-to-on-those-interwebs, are not driving this trend. It’s the baby boomers, with their Jimi Hendrix box sets and their Viagra prescriptions and their dog-eared copy of “The Joy of Sex” that they thought they’d lost four moves ago. People under the age of 55 are actually having markedly less extramarital sex than people in that age group did in the 1990s. But people over the age of 55 are busy making up for their missed action.

Think about what this means.  The same generation X that has decided that porn is not a problem has decided that adultery is.  It is not that porn has not changed their behavior – of course what you watch changes your behavior.  More women engaged in lesbian sex before marriage, more anal sex, and more genital grooming, but when this generation of men and women got married, they decided to stay faithful.

Why, I am sure that the “your brain on porn” advocates told us that they would all become sex-addicts, that watching porn would cause them to become more and more addicted, that their brains would shrink, that they would lose the ability to control their sexual desires….

It seems that the opposite has happened – as real scientists told us that it would – that these people would become more discriminating about sex, that they would be able to enter marriage without the passion of unresolved sexual tension, that they could therefore stay married longer and be more faithful during their marriage.

But I didn’t have to wait for science to tell me this (though I am a psychiatrist and I make sure that my opinions are always informed by science).  The Bible told me this a long time ago.  God told me that erotica was part of normal and holy life, he inspired Solomon to write it for me to enjoy.   He also told me that erotica ought to point toward and idealize marital love.  That is why I created the Holy Erotica site, so that Christians could take back erotica from the sinners.

If more people would make sites like this, more Christian couples would make erotica for others to enjoy, then we would not find lesbianism and anal sex increasing, instead you would find Christian marriages lasting longer and being stronger.

 

#Christianity, #Masculinity, and #Pornography

Holy Men are Erotic
The Masculine Christian

The feminized church can no longer imagine what a masculine Christianity ever was or should be.

David, the man after God’s own heart, was as hypersexual as any man in history.  God rebuked him only for stealing his friend’s wife.  Michelangelo’s famous statue is not a picture of a girly-man.

Paul could preach so strongly that he was stoned.  He did not express “empathy” and he did not “help hurting people.”  He preached the gospel – a gospel that made men so mad that they stoned him.

Jesus did not back down to Pilate.  He did not try to find common ground.  He did not try to understand where Pilate was coming from.  Instead he told him that “for this cause came I into the world, that I should bear witness unto the truth.”

When the famous circuit rider of Colorado, Father John L Dyer, had a man come to church and mocking the altar call, he told him, “You came in the door, but you are going out the window.”  This man, called “The snowshoe itinerant” traveled across the continental divide all winter in order to preach the gospel.

Any of these men would not be welcome in today’s church.  They were not sufficiently “nurturing.”  David would have been forced to confess his sex “addiction”  Paul would have been called “divisive.”  Jesus, himself, would have been counseled about how to be more “seeker-friendly”

It is time we took back Christianity.  I don’t think that we can change the church be “becoming involved”  I think we can change the church by standing up on feet, expressing our masculinity without apology or fear and proclaiming that we love Christ, we love being a man, and yes, we like sex.

View the videos on HolyErotica without fear or guilt.  Be a man to your wife.  Be a man in the church.  She will love and respect you the more for refusing to be a hypocrite and the church will learn what it means to see a man.

The feminized “supporting” church repels men

Masculine Christianity
Jesus was manly

Brilliant historically researched article at the The Art of Manliness.

The article explains why men have left the church.  I would add that it was after men were driven from the church that proper masculine erotic desire was demonized.   Now today the “supporting” church wants to draw men in and cure them of their porn “addiction”

If the church had kept it’s proper masculinity, this would have been laughed out of the pulpit in the first week.

Christian Men – Jerk it with Joy – And pictures

Guiltless masturbation
Choke your chicken without guilt

Christian men of a certain age were warned against masturbation by our mothers.  One day you and her were in the kitchen and no one else was around,

“You don’t ah… play with yourself,” she whispered.

“No, Mom, no.  Of course not.”

She nodded and accepted your answer.  She never bothered to ask how you knew exactly what she was talking about.  You were consumed with guilt for months and years.  Not only did you commit that terrible sin of jerking off, you compounded it by LYING and we all knew that ALL LIARS HAVE THEIR PLACE IN THE LAKE OF FIRE.

You couldn’t even repent of your sin, because you knew that then you would have to confess to your mother that you had lied.  The sermons were universally agreed on this.

Did any of you actually go and confess to your mother?  I did.  She turned white and went and talked to Daddy.  He then had to have a “talk” with me.  Now, of course, I know that his talk was done tongue-in-cheek.  He was just doing it to please Mom.  He, along with all of the Christian men of his generation, had taken as an article of faith that the thing that they had all done for years was sinful.  That’s why so few of them actually went to church.  We were raised in a church full of women.  Even though the churches now agree that boys can masturbate  (as long as they don’t “lust” while they are doing it) The churches are still full of mostly women, because the church has failed to come to grips with the single simple fact that erotic arousal IS NOT LUST.

Here is the fact.  God created erotica for a purpose.  He wants men to be sexual.  He treats their jackoff sessions as normal part of life.  Erotica is intended to help a young man look forward to and seek marriage.  It is intended to keep a married man desirous of and close to his wife, sexually.  Even porn watched solo brings couples closer together.

So choke your chicken, flog the one-eyed monster, jack the beanstalk, burp the worm.  Enjoy your God-given ability to experience the joys of sex.  It is a God-intended pleasure.

Job 36:11 If they obey and serve him, they shall spend their days in prosperity, and their years in pleasures.
Psalms 16:11 Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.
Psalms 36:8 They shall be abundantly satisfied with the fatness of thy house; and thou shalt make them drink of the river of thy pleasures.

 

Great link by #Instapundit. A #Wife should be encouraged to look good

A Wife's nice ass
A wife in some nice tight blue jeans

Glenn Reynolds at Instapundit links to an article that says wives should encourage their husbands erotic desires by looking as good as they can.

I most certainly agree, as does my wife (who keeps me encouraged all of the time 🙂

Why #Christian #Pornography is healthy for men and couples

Porn is Healthy For Couples
A Husband is drawn closer to his wife when he views Erotica

So, it is my position that Christian men can view what is considered pornography (wrongly called, it should be erotica) without being wrong.   I say this for three reasons.  Firstly, holy erotica is God-ordained and inspired.  Secondly, it is healthy.  Thirdly, sincere holy men have been looking at “dirty” art for thousands of years without our religion being destroyed.

Firstly,  Erotica is God-ordained.   The Bible includes everything necessary for a Christian life.  God knew that people would be angry at life’s injustices, so he put in the book of Job.  He knew that people would question him, so he put in many of the Psalms and the book of Habakkuk.  He knew that people would feel hopeless as they approached old age, so he put in the book of Ecclesiastes.  Proverbs is filled with miscellaneous advice on thousands of important subjects.

And God knew that single people should be reminded how wonderful married love is, and he knew that married people would need to encourage their sexual desire so that it would not become humdrum.  So he put in the play of the Song of Solomon that includes nudity, erotica, and explicit sexual imagery.  Solomon had this play performed live in his court – in short – he had live sex shows, since video hadn’t been invented yet.  God included this “porn” (actually erotica) in his Bible for a reason.  That reason is to inform us that in our railing against adulter and fornication we should not forget that marital sex was invented by God for the pleasure of his people.

Secondly, Erotica is healthy.  Despite what you read about from non-physician, non-psychiatrist, pseudo-experts like “YourBrainOnPorn” Gary Wilson; studies do NOT show that your brain is harmed by viewing erotica.  In fact, a recent study showed that couples who overcome the imposed guilt of the legalistic churches were drawn closer together, even if the erotica was viewed alone.  If brains were truly damaged so badly by porn, then the 70% of men who ADMIT that the view porn regularly and the 29% who lie about it would be wandering the streets waiting to murder and rape women.   And yet, most marriages seem to survive and thrive in spite of these poor husbands’ brains being destroyed.  We would like to provide a study showing that marriages survive more when men view porn, but we can’t find any men who don’t watch porn.   The “Porn Addiction” so much quoted by these pseudo-experts simply doesn’t exist, which is why the psychiatrists did not include it as a diagnosis in the newly released Diagnostic Statistical Manual 5(DSM5).  Vegetarians want to define bacon as an addiction, and the new puritans want to define erotica as an addiction.  Neither is.

Thirdly, sincere Christian men are already viewing porn.  Yes, I know, Christians sin all the time.  But if the Holy Spirit is really guiding ANY Christians and God hates porn so much, then SOME of them should be overcoming.  Yet the studies show that there is no difference between the porn viewing habits of proclaiming Christians and non-believers.  That is because God is not helping men to overcome an act that he never forbade.

The church, dominated the dear sisters who don’t understand the biological desire that God gave all men  keep trying to accomplish the impossible.  The natural result is a church empty of men.  Pastors who counsel marital couples when the husbands porn “addiction” is discovered actually destroy the marriage.

Oh what peace we often forfeit, Oh what needless pain we bear.  All because we do not trust that Jesus, the eternal word of God, actually knew what he saying when he said:

Prov 5:19 Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.

Porn and Big Macs – Nannies all around us

Are you tired of the nannies who keep trying to tell us what is bad for us?  I know that I am.  For some years the vegetarians have been trying to order us to give up meat.  They told us that humans are all supposed to be vegetarians or vegans.  They enlisted the support of nanny-state regulators to stop us from enjoying Big Macs and T-Bones.

Meanwhile, we doctors have to treat the anemia from the B12, Folic Acid, and iron deficiencies of people who allowed the food puritans to give them orders.

Now a segment of the right has jumped into the Nanny business.  Supposedly viewing pornography is now “addiction”.  All of the studies disprove this.   I treat addicts all of the time.  Not once have I had a patient who could not go to work in the morning because he couldn’t stop watching porn.  Not once have I had a man who ended up in the emergency room from porn.  I have treated hyper-sexual people, but they are, without fail, suffering from another psychiatric disease that caused the hypersexuality.  (Bipolar, Mental Retardation, Schizophrenia)

I want you to notice something.  All of these “Porn Addiction” experts ARE NOT PSYCHIATRISTS.  The number one man out there making money off of these false claims (dare I say “fake news”) is Gary Wilson (Your Brain On Porn).  He is not even a scientist.  He has not one peer-reviewed study to his name.  He is an anatomy lab tech is at a 2nd rate state university.

The Psychiatrists have made it clear.  Porn is not an addiction.  There is no “Porn Addiction” diagnosis in the manual.  It doesn’t have the effect on the brain that drugs and behaviors of addiction do.  You do not become desensitized to porn with use, in fact the opposite occurs, the brain responds better with more use.  You are no more “addicted” to porn than a newly wed is “addicted” to sex with his wife.  Nor does use of porn lead one into more perverse sexual behaviors.   The opposite occurs.  The young man sees the perverse behaviors, may even try them out, is repelled by them and returns to more healthy sexual habits as he gets older.  Ted Bundy’s manipulated his dupe “Dr.” James Dobson into becoming an anti-porn activist.   But Dobson has a single child-psychology degree and no post-doctoral research to his name.  Bundy claimed that porn caused his abberant behavior.  If that is true, then why are the 70% of men who admit to using porn and the 99% of men who actually look at it running around killing people.

What is it in humans that causes us to want others to stop having fun.  Is it resentment that if I can’t have fun, then no one else should be able to?  Because Mama made me eat my vegetables, I have to make sure everyone eats nothing but vegetables.  Because Mama didn’t want me to “play with myself” then I must make sure that no one ever flogs the one-eyed snake?

A #Porn Site for Christians to use #HolyErotica .com

The holy beauty of the female form

I have just launched HolyErotica.com.  It   I have launched this site for the purpose of providing Christians with depictions of pure, loving, and holy sex.  Here is my mission statement for the site.


What is “Holy Erotica”

Holy Sex is between a husband and a wife.   God intended men (and women) to be excited by the thought of sex.  He intended us to be excited about beautiful bodies and the thought of sex with them.  There is nothing wrong and everything right about us enjoying written and visual depictions of sex.   But these depictions should either be depictions of holy sex or if the sex is unholy, then the depiction ought to include an unattractive end result of sin – which is sorrow, pain, and death.

 

Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God created he him; male and
female created he them.

 

Sex should be beautiful, pure, loving, and kind.  It should not involve more than two people.  It should not include humiliation, bondage or pain.  Both people involved in the erotic depiction should appear to love one another and enjoy the act.

 

Song of Solomon 8:7 Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.

 

Good art depicts the ideal, the perfect.  So Holy Erotica will show perfect sex.  Of course, in real life perfection does not exist, but that doesn’t mean I want to see imperfection.  I don’t watch romantic movies where they live unhappily ever after and I don’t watch porn that has pimpled, ugly, fat, and old people.  If I wanted to see an old fat guy having sex I would put a mirror on my bedroom ceiling.

 

Our imaginations were intended to be on holy and pure things.  So the videos on this site will show pure sex, between two people or one person with their own self, in its most pure form.

 

Phillippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

 

I know that most porn is produced by unmarried partners, but the sex act, itself is holy.  Just as a beautiful meal can be consumed by a glutton, so also the holy act of sex can be participated in by sinful people.  In my mind, the sex depicted is presumed to be marital  – I don’t ask for marriage certificates.

 

I Corinthians 10:27-28 If any of them that believe not bid you to a feast, and ye be disposed to go; whatsoever is set before you, eat, asking no question for conscience sake.  But if any man say unto you, This is offered in sacrifice unto idols, eat not for his sake that shewed it, and for conscience sake: for the earth is the Lord’s, and the fulness thereof:

 

If, in the depiction, the participants state that they are unmarried, then that video will not be intentionally on this site.

 

So, the “porn” (really erotica) on this HolyErotica.com site are going to be either solo or between (presumably) married couples who love one another and are mutually enjoying the act.  If there is any gagging, “make her swallow”, spanking, BDSM, anal, gang-bangs or other humiliating acts, and (of course) underage sex, then it is by accident and I would appreciate being contacted and informed of my oversight.

Despite the claims of the “porn addiction” crowd, I have viewed porn for over four decades without any desire to “escalate” to depraved acts.  I love sex with my wife as much today as I did on our marriage day when we gave our virginity to each other.  We both enjoy it a lot more than we did that night because we have gained some skills in the intervening decades – some of those skills were gained by watching “porn.”

 

Whatsoever things are pure. Not all porn is holy, but some is

God intended us to enjoy erotic images and video
Beautiful, pure, and holy sex

I take the position that Christians should watch porn.  But in saying this, I do not defend the position that all porn is good.  In fact, the vast majority of the porn on the internet is junk.  It is full of hatefulness, degradation, gang bangs and adultery.  Anyone who loves God knows that these things are evil.

My statement that “I like porn” is similar to the statement “I like sex.”  It is not a defense of every act of sex, or even most acts of sex, that take place.

A quote from CS Lewis’ Screwtape Letters is appropriate:

Never forget that when we are dealing with any pleasure in its healthy and normal and satisfying form, we are, in a sense, on the Enemy’s [God’s] ground. I know we have won many a soul through pleasure. All the same, it is [God’s] invention, not ours. He made the pleasures: all our research so far has not enabled us to produce one. All we can do is to encourage humans to take the pleasures which our Enemy has produced, at times, or in ways, or in degrees, which He has forbidden. Hence we always try to work away from the natural condition of any pleasure to that in which it is least natural, least redolent of its Maker, and least pleasurable. An ever-increasing craving for an ever diminishing pleasure is the formula…. To get the man’s soul and give NOTHING in return–that is what really gladdens [Satan’s] heart.

There is a small amount of porn out there, beautiful couple porn and individual person porn, that celebrates the beauty and wonder of sex as God intends it.  Two  people who love one another have committed themselves to create a family will then celebrate that union in rapturous, orgasmic joy and pleasure.   To watch this rapturous joy and vicariously experience in ourselves is to participate in God’s plan or pleasure and to be brought closer to each other and God.  This is why he allowed us into the sexual experiences of Solomon and his Shunnamite wife.

I believe my favorite erotic clip of all times is this scene from “The Neon Bull”.  (Warning, this clip shows explicit sex). I see a husband making love to the mother of his child.  Watching this sort of erotica does not lead me to (as the “porn addiction” advocates claim) see more depraved porn.  In fact, depraved sex has never appealed to me.  I have never wanted to humiliate my wife with sex.  I have never wanted to “split her open”, “make her gag”, “make her swallow” or “make her” do anything else.  Sex is not a matter of “using” one another at all, except in the sense that I want my wife to use ME for her pleasure and vica-versa.  Occasionally, when I am sated and not particularly needing sex, I enjoy watching my darling enjoy herself with my body.

When I watch this pure sort of erotica, it makes me a better husband, it makes me a better man.  I become more loving, I seek to reach the ideal that the erotica

Now, watching the other stuff does not have the same effect.  It can make me more selfish, it can make sex with my wife less loving, less pure, less unselfish.

Of course what we watch affects us.  It should.  That is why God told us,

“Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” (Philippians 4:8)

I am not pleased with how much effort that I have to make to find these pure and holy erotic scenes.  I wish that someone would create a website that contained links to only these items.    What do you think?

In Defense of #ChristianMorals, and #Eros

The nude form is pleasing to God AND man
Naked Prayer: Pleasing to God AND man

I want to make something perfectly clear.  I believe in Bible morals.   I don’t believe in traditions.  The polygamous marriage traditions of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David, Solomon and most of the Old Testament saints were not God’s morals.  Abraham had sex with his wife’s handmaid and we are still suffering from the results.  Jacob had two wives and two concubines and, as a result, 10 brothers sold another into slavery.  David felt free to take any woman he wanted, and as a result murdered his friend.  Solomon felt free to take a 1000 women and they drew his heart away from God.

God has occasionally allowed men to depart from the perfect plan, but the result in their own lives and others is sadness and pain.  The perfect plan is, as Jesus said, One woman, One man for life.  Because of the difficulty of actually putting this into practice culture-wide, God allowed divorce – unintended serial monogamy.  But Jesus made clear that each time a couple fails to keep a family together and divorce, that they commit adultery.  Now, this adultery is not unforgivable.  But God makes it clear that breaking up a marriage is more like cutting off an arm than dissolving a partnership.

BUT if I don’t believe in the traditions of Abraham, David, and Solomon, neither do I believe in the traditions of Queen Victoria and “Dr.” James Dobson.   God put Solomon’s erotic song of love and sex in the Bible.  Therefore God, while warning us against Solomon’s adulterous ways, also endorsed his erotic arousal.

So this is what I believe God’s perfect marriage looks like.  One man rejoicing with the wife of his youth.  Both of them need not be ashamed of sex.  She watches Romantic movies and imagines herself in the arms of her perfect savior with chiseled abs, perfect buttocks, and nice long, hard penis.  So she drags him to bed and makes love.

Meanwhile the man sees his wife in every hot young thing that comes by and in every curvy girl around.  She is the wife of his youth and he never tires of her.   When he watches erotic movies or sees erotic pictures he sees his ideal wife, the wife of his dreams.  Of course he knows, intellectually, that she is growing older, but to him she is never old.

Now, the sex drive of both of these people needs feeding.  Without feeding, it will fade as they grow older.  Eventually they won’t remember how long it has been since they slept together. This has never happened to me, but I have had it reported to me by my patients.  So God gave man a way to feed that desire from the outside without violating the exclusivity of the bond.  He gave us erotic literature, erotic stories, erotic paintings, erotic statues, and yes, erotic pictures and movies.

Yes, the “Pornography” industry was born in the ’60’s after the Victorian age had shut down all holy erotica.   Even in Italy, the governments attached fig leaves over the gorgeous statues of the Renaissance and before.  Michelangelo’s David had his manliness covered – thereby hiding the whole point of the stature – IT IS UNCIRCUMCISED.

And so erotica was turned over to the ungodly.  And they took full advantage of their ownership.  Girl’s lives are destroyed forever.  A girl would be better off as a prostitute than a porn actress.  At least she can run away from prostitution.

How much better would it have been if the erotic art industry had Christians in it.  Christian married couples who acted in stories telling the glories of keeping within God’s guidelines.   Christians who would tell stories of holiness and the consequences of sin.   The writers of Christian Fiction would not be bound – as they are today – to never use a bad word or describe even a marriage bed scene, or a rape, or fornication or adultery gone wrong.

Do you know that Elijah cursed Ahab’s house by saying that he would kill all of Ahab’s family that “Pissed against a wall” (I Kings 21:21)  Did you know that Ezekial said that Israel – his wife – would go whoring after men who had cocks like donkey’s and who spurted like horses. (Ezek 23:20)

If Christian writer said something like that in her book, she would be banned from the Christian Bookstores.

It’s sad that, before the internet, the only place you could buy pornography was to sneak into some dirty bookstore where men hung around trying to catch each others eyes for a hookup.  The Christian bookstores ought to have a section of “Love and Sex” with beautiful nudity and wonderful stories of the glories of married erotic love.

Someone did make a trial of it.  “Gods and Prophets” tried to paint an accurate and Biblical picture of David, Saul, and Samuel.  It showed (gasp) titties.  So the churches all spoke against the show and it died after 2 episodes.

This “anti-porn” crusade is not a pro-Bible march.  It is a march against the Bible and against Godly morals.  It has left Christian men vulnerable by giving a commandment that they could not keep, and therefore casting them into the hands of those like Larry Flynt and Hugh Hefner who wished to destroy their souls.