Pastor questions his porn legalism and then stops thinking

James Emory White is a pastor in Charlottesville NC.  He writes an article asking “Is Pornography Really Wrong?”  I thought, wow, this is amazing, a pastor who actually asks the question.

Sadly, it’s only pretend.  The question was only asked as a trick to get people to read the same disproved points that the legalists have been trying to push for years.

  1. It is lust — Not it isn’t.  No Jesus did not tell you that you couldn’t look at anything that turned you on.  He told you not to LUST.  Lust is desire out of control.  If you don’t make plans, or wish you could get into a woman’s pants, you haven’t lusted.  Admiring her body is not lust
  2. It is addictive — No it isn’t.  The American Psychiatric Association has spoken on this repeatedly.  But this isn’t the pastor’s real problem.  If he really thought that ANY thing that was addictive was sinful, then he would be railing against processed sugar and caffeine.  To substances that don’t cause any problems in people’s lives but are, unquestionably, addictive
  3. It is degrading to women — Not all of it is.  If this is his problem, then he ought to be directing his men to HolyErotica.com  because it doesn’t have degrading porn.
  4. “Studies show” It leads to other sins (specifically rape) —   Absolute and total nonsense.  There is no study that shows such a thing.  He doesn’t bother to actually link to any of these “studies”
  5. It harms your relationship with your spouse —- According to him, Porn causes you to stop have sex with your wife.   This is nonsense, and many, many studies have proven this repeatedly.  For example, read this post.
  6. It desensitizes your soul —- or, makes God pull away from you because you are sinning.  This is called “Begging the Question”  or “Presuming the consequent”  He presumes porn is wrong and then uses that presumption to claim that God will be displeased, therefore porn must be wrong.  Erotica is wrong because he presumes it is wrong.
  7. It reduces sex to lust — This is the most annoying point of all.  He acts like erotic desire is lust.  This is falling for the lie of the world.  Lust and erotic desire are not related.  If I desire my wife I do not LUST for her.  This is the old dualistic “spirit” and “body” heresy.  He would recognize that as a heresy if he read it in any other context.

This pastor has the same objectivity when talking about erotica as CNN has about President Trump.

Seven things for Christians to do after they jack off to porn

The anti-erotica legalists are almost all women.  But occasionally a man who has been indoctrinated to hate himself writes something.  Today I will link to one of these poor souls.

According to this pH D at Moody Bible Institute, this is what you do after watching porn.  He is wrong, but because he is a man, he actually understands a couple things.

  1. Recognize it is Satan’s fault (LOL)
  2. Fight Self-hatred (induced by your shame because of what other people told you)
  3. Fight the haze (Don’t relax, because you must be always tense to be a christian)
  4. Guard others (apparently you are now an incipient rapist, just waiting to anally rape anyone)
  5. Confess to friend (so he can feel better about HIS porn use)
  6. Use your clarity for good. (Apparently, now that your balls are empty, you can use your frontal lobe again)
  7. Know your God (pray and pray until you get horny the next time)

Poor, sad, deluded man.  His whole life is about porn.  He lives in between his porn use episodes in a haze of shame, confession, trying to find new restrictions that will stop him next time, anguished prayer and self-flagellation, and then, inevitably, the next porn episode.

How much better would it be if he simply accepted the Bible standard.  Erotic desire is the natural and holy part of life.  Instead of trying to force himself to not have testicles, he could have rejoiced in it, shared this part of his life with his wife, and spent his freed-up energy to help his fellow man.

The New Christian Girly-man

Evangelical Girly Man
The New Evangelical Womans ideal jawline. Weak and easily manipulated.

The feminization of the church is never more clear than watching the evangelical chick-flick rom-coms.  Here, for example is the Mounty from Hallmark Channel’s “When Calls The Heart”.   His eyes are watery.  I’m sure that this actor is very good at quoting poetry (probably to his boyfriend at their wedding!)   See the weak jawline?

This mounty has a real jaw!

But everyone knows that a mounty has a square shape.  He’s a man.  He’s not afraid to stand alone.

What’s next?  A Texas ranger with soft skin?

No wonder these women expect their husbands to never look at a woman.  Their husbands have clear cut their balls off and placed them in their wife’s makeup bag.

Pastors against porn should not use the “Addiction” argument

Why treat porn addiction won't work.
Wrong Diagnosis – Wrong Treatment

So I was talking to a pastor recently who was looking for ways to help men overcome their porn habit.  Since I am a psychiatrist, he was asking me about the parts of the brain that were involved in reward.

I know why he was asking.  He had been exposed to Gary Wilson’s “Your Brain on Porn” and wanted to preach a sermon to men about how viewing porn was just like using crack cocaine.

It isn’t.  Here is what I explained to the pastor.  If you approach porn as an addiction then you will try to “cure” it using the anti-addiction methodology that we use for cocaine, meth, gambling, and heroin addicts.  But this is like treating gall stones with lung cancer medicine.  It won’t accomplish your goal and it will just make things worse.

For example.  One of the first anti-addiction drugs of choice that we use is Wellbutrin.  Wellbutrin reduces addiction cravings.  I have given it to alcoholics, smokers, and today I thought about prescribing it to a crack cocaine addict.

But Wellbutrin does not lower sexual desire at all.  In fact, when we have a patient whose use of Paxil/Lexapro/Celexa/Zoloft is reducing libido, we switch them to Wellbutrin.   If porn/sex was really an addiction, the Wellbutrin would reduce desire, not increase it.

So, if a Christian pastor wants to help their disciples to stop viewing porn, they should approach it from a different standpoint than addiction.  They should treat it as an sinful – but natural- behavior like fornication or adultery.

Should Christians watch Game of Thrones nudity? Yes.

Christians looking at Emlia Clarke's naked body
Emilia Clarke has a great body

Looking forward to the Game of Thrones Season Premier tonight, especially the nude parts…..

Predictably, the “Christian” position being preached in the churches today is that Christians can’t watch because of the nudity.  We aren’t allowed to admit that breasts exist or that we like to look at them.

I remember when we couldn’t watch television because of the cursing.  This was always strange.  The Bible contains curse words.  Elijah said that God would kill all of Ahab’s children that “pissed against the wall” – in other words, all the males.  But Elijah didn’t just say “males” he wanted to throw the extra curse because God was really angry and wished to express that angry clearly.

So, also,  the Bible contains many clear descriptions of nudity.  Often those descriptions are explicitly sexual and intended to arouse.   Solomon was clearly a breast man, but he liked legs and butts, so he included those.

Now, the sex in Game of Thrones is rarely marital (except those great Danerys-Drogo scenes (hubba, hubba).  But I think it is noticeable that the fornication and adultery is usually described as poor behavior and consequences follow.  Explicit rape scenes are shown, but they are shown as horrid and deserving of the inevitable consequences.  The Dothraki engage in public orgies, but this is used as an example of their continued bad treatment of women.  And when Danerys makes a pact with the Iron Islands, she explicitly insists that the raping must stop.

The church’s attempt to preach against watching the Game of Thrones is self-defeating.  Here is a series that speaks explicitly to the morality of our time and strongly supports the idea that evil is tempting, but is ultimately self-defeating.  National Review has a great article which argues for this interpretation.

I, of course, don’t believe that the modern evangelical church has the right attitude toward nudity to begin with.  If we would adopt a biblical, instead of a Victorian, attitude, we could start to reach out to the men who are either not attending or just attending nominally, without letting it have any effect on their lives.

The feminized “supporting” church repels men

Masculine Christianity
Jesus was manly

Brilliant historically researched article at the The Art of Manliness.

The article explains why men have left the church.  I would add that it was after men were driven from the church that proper masculine erotic desire was demonized.   Now today the “supporting” church wants to draw men in and cure them of their porn “addiction”

If the church had kept it’s proper masculinity, this would have been laughed out of the pulpit in the first week.

Christian Men – Jerk it with Joy – And pictures

Guiltless masturbation
Choke your chicken without guilt

Christian men of a certain age were warned against masturbation by our mothers.  One day you and her were in the kitchen and no one else was around,

“You don’t ah… play with yourself,” she whispered.

“No, Mom, no.  Of course not.”

She nodded and accepted your answer.  She never bothered to ask how you knew exactly what she was talking about.  You were consumed with guilt for months and years.  Not only did you commit that terrible sin of jerking off, you compounded it by LYING and we all knew that ALL LIARS HAVE THEIR PLACE IN THE LAKE OF FIRE.

You couldn’t even repent of your sin, because you knew that then you would have to confess to your mother that you had lied.  The sermons were universally agreed on this.

Did any of you actually go and confess to your mother?  I did.  She turned white and went and talked to Daddy.  He then had to have a “talk” with me.  Now, of course, I know that his talk was done tongue-in-cheek.  He was just doing it to please Mom.  He, along with all of the Christian men of his generation, had taken as an article of faith that the thing that they had all done for years was sinful.  That’s why so few of them actually went to church.  We were raised in a church full of women.  Even though the churches now agree that boys can masturbate  (as long as they don’t “lust” while they are doing it) The churches are still full of mostly women, because the church has failed to come to grips with the single simple fact that erotic arousal IS NOT LUST.

Here is the fact.  God created erotica for a purpose.  He wants men to be sexual.  He treats their jackoff sessions as normal part of life.  Erotica is intended to help a young man look forward to and seek marriage.  It is intended to keep a married man desirous of and close to his wife, sexually.  Even porn watched solo brings couples closer together.

So choke your chicken, flog the one-eyed monster, jack the beanstalk, burp the worm.  Enjoy your God-given ability to experience the joys of sex.  It is a God-intended pleasure.

Job 36:11 If they obey and serve him, they shall spend their days in prosperity, and their years in pleasures.
Psalms 16:11 Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.
Psalms 36:8 They shall be abundantly satisfied with the fatness of thy house; and thou shalt make them drink of the river of thy pleasures.

 

I’m a christian who watches porn – as God intended

Christian Men watching porn
All men – especially Christian men – watch porn. There is nothing wrong with that

So you’re a sincere Christian man and you have looked at porn your entire life.  You feel terribly guilty about this.  Your prayers are hindered as a result.  All of the “Men’s retreats” at your church concentrate on one subject and one subject only  – “Pornography Addiction”.   You have tried giving it up multiple times.  You confessed to your pastor and got an “accountability partner.”  After the first couple of times you stopped telling him how you have “fallen” again.  Maybe you even lost him as a friend as a result.

You feel all alone, because your church has placed you on a merry-go-round of eternal guilt.  After decades of trying to beat your “porn addiction” you sense that you will always watch it.  Maybe you even dropped out of church, since you knew that you must not be a Christian.  Christians should be able to overcome at least one addiction!

You have fallen prey to the modern Pharisees. You have been duped into a falsehood.  There is no command in the Bible telling you to avoid erotic stories or images.  In fact, the opposite is true.  The Bible is full of erotica.  It describes and treats masturbation just like it treats sex, pregnancy, and menstruation – as normal parts of a holy life.   The command to avoid pornography is man’s tradition, not God’s command and certainly not Bible.

Here are the links proving that you are a good Christian with whom God is well-pleased.

It is NOT Lust

It is NOT Addiction

It is Healthy

The Taboo on Porn is Man’s Tradition

God wrote Porn

Continue to be a Man

Jerk off with Joy

Here is a website with only Holy Porn for your enjoyment

Christians are not addicted to porn

Using science to support a religious position
No, Christians are not “Addicted” to porn

Every temptation is not an addiction.  Addiction is a medical term, not a spiritual one.  As the churches have stopped preaching the gospel of Jesus, they have begun preaching a secular “health” gospel.  But while surrendering the authority of the Bible and Christ, they are attempting to argue for the same traditions that held over from more religiously oriented times.

Therefore, while no longer preaching against “lust” they wish to preach against “sex addiction.”

The problem is that medicine is a very poor substitute for God.  This article fairly represents how the “porn addiction” nonsense started and why it is not science.  If you want to argue against pornography based upon scripture – great – let’s have that discussion.  I admit that you have at least a few strong points to make.  But if you want to attempt to use MEDICINE then you have nothing of interest to say.

Firstly, the porn addiction advocates have nothing interesting to say because they are not physicians.  None of them have any degree higher than a bachelor of arts – except for the occasional, Doctor of Divinity.  They don’t do original research, they don’t know how to conduct a clinical study.  They don’t know the difference between cohort studies, cross-sectional studies, longitudinal studies, clinical trials, etc.  They can’t separate between correlation and causation.  They don’t know a category I statistical error from a p-square analysis.   They just go searching through google (not google scholar) for any article that supports their pre-determined view.

This is called “confirmation bias” and no one who is participating in it should be allowed to treat anyone.

Secondly the porn addiction advocates have nothing interesting to say because they are arguing dishonestly.  If you have a moral or religious position, then that is fine – I have several items that I believe on faith myself.  For example, I believe that Jesus was born of a virgin.  But it would be insane for me to start trying to prove parthenogenesis (scientific virgin birth) is possible in human beings.   It is not.   The virgin birth is a miracle, it is not subject to the reasoning of science.

The religious argument against porn is based, I believe, on tradition.  A tradition that is very old and has gained ascendancy in the evangelical church for the past couple of centuries.  Tradition is not unimportant in religious and moral arguments.  Tradition does not always arise by accident and usually has or had a good reason for it in the past.    But don’t try to defend it by bringing in poorly understood subjects in science.  You simply make yourself foolish.

Finally, the porn addiction advocates have nothing interesting to say because the science doesn’t support their position.  Addiction is a very specific thing.  At its most basic, it always includes progressive tolerance and pathological effect.

Progressive tolerance is the need for greater amounts of the drug in order to gain the same effect.   At first 2 beers could get me buzzed, but now I need 10.  But porn only has this effect in the short term.  Once the participant has masturbated, it requires more arousal for him to reach climax.   But porn does not have this effect over the long term.  In fact, the exact opposite happens.  The porn viewer becomes more sensitive to porn as he watches more.

In an addiction, the sufferer needs more and more of the substance and enjoys it less and less.  This does not happen in porn and sex.  When a virgin couple first get married, their sexual unions are awkward and not terribly enjoyable.  Only after practice and frequency do they find greater and greater fulfillment.  All of sex works this way.  Including porn.

The stories of men who started with playboy and ended with torture porn are nonsense.  This fairy tale was made up by mass murderer Ted Bundy in an interview with “Dr.” James Dobson.  Bundy was trying to find a way to get out of the death penalty.  Unsurprisingly, Dobson fell for it and began a movement to get Bundy off.  Dobson has a long history of being a good patsy for anyone with a good story.

As any regular viewer of porn will tell you.  We do seek higher quality porn, but not more perverse.  If porn had to get more perverse in order to be enjoyable, then I should be pretty deep in the mud by now, since I looked at my first playboy at age 11.  But, in fact, I don’t like perverse porn.  I like a nice high quality video or a couple who show love for one another.

One might argue that my desire for “higher quality” is an increasing tolerance, but this is like saying that enjoying steak is an addiction because one looks for a better restaurant as we grow older.

Secondly, an addiction requires pathological effect.  It must hurt the participant.  This is why tobacco is an addiction, but caffeine is simply a habit.  Porn has not been shown to increase pathological behavior.  In fact, the opposite is true.  Sex crimes go down when porn becomes more available.  Single men seek out fewer illicit liaisons and seek a higher quality of relationship in the women that they court.

If you reply that porn is pathological because it causes problems between couples in which the wife has been indoctrinated with an anti-porn belief, then I am going to tell you that meat is an addiction because you upset vegans by consuming it.

 

Rick Warren’s wife on porn. Sincerely wrong

Commanding to abstain from God-created pleasure
Thou shalt not enjoy thyself

Rick Warren’s wife recently admitted to occasionally viewing porn.  Because she is part of the evangelical movement she has to call this occasional use “addiction to porn” even though what she is describing is no more addiction to porn than a vegetarian’s occasional McDonald’s burger is an addiction to meat.

What is happening in the evangelical community is that the traditions of the Victorian age have become internalized until most Christians don’t even realize that we are encourged, not forbidden, to view erotica.   As a result, sincere Chritians are spending much of their spiritual energy on an ascetic attempt to “deny the flesh” instead of serving God.

Paul dealt with the same impulse in the early church when he said that “forbidding to marry and commanding to abstain from meats” was a doctrine of devils.  (I Tim. 4:3)

The flesh and erotica was created by God, and were intended to be enjoyed by men and women.  Christians sexual actions and their erotic thoughts are to be enjoyed either solo or within the boundaries of marriage, because it is within those limits that human beings can best live a holy, healthy, and fulfilled life.

Commanding to abstain from erotica is not Christian anymore than commanding to abstain from meats was Christian in the first century.