According to the “Good Man Project”
The majority of couples I’ve interviewed that have been married for greater than five years will have sexual intercourse at the rate of 4 to 12 times per month.
Horse-hockey. No, I don’t mean that this doctor is incorrect in his assessment. I mean, that it is horse-hockey that this is normal. No, it isn’t. It is also normal for people to have affairs after being married for 5 years. If they are only have sex 2 to 3 a week, then I would consider an affair inevitable.
I have been married for over three decades. That statistic should be closer to 2 to 3 times each day. I mean, there is the “going to sleep” sex, the “morning wood”sex and they “middle of the night in our sleep” sex, besides the afternoon “came home early from work and got horny” sex. Besides that, you’ve got the living room sex and the kitchen sex. How do people fit all of that into just 12 times in a month?
Why do married people stop having so much sex? I’m not sure, but the “being together five years” statement makes me suspicious. It sounds like the couple are getting bored and stop using stimuli that are related to each other. I am absolutely confident that men who are only having sex with their wives 4 times a month are masturbating to porn much, much, more commonly than that.
If a man is actually a good man who has taken the appropriate masculine role in his family, then he can change this by bringing his wife in on his sexual habits. Marriage is about shared sex.
If you don’t know how to do this, then you have to start by getting your wife to accept that you watch porn. Here is my article about that.
So, once you have helped your wife understand that erotica is a normal and important part of a holy man’s wife. You can simply start watching it in front of her. If she has been raised in the feminized anti-sex church, then she will know that she is supposed to be mad about this. Weather the storm; be a man. Offer to have sex with her right then. If she refuses, rub one out in front of her.
Remember, she is not actually angry on her own behalf. She is angry because she has been told that she is supposed to be angry. This is what the other women are telling her she is supposed to do.
Tell her this. Explain to her, repeatedly, that you are and have been a faithful husband. You are a godly man who loves her. You don’t want to have sex with other women and you will not have sex with other women. Tell her that God and the Bible are on your side. She has the opinions of her girlfriends. Which one is supreme in your home? Refer her to the other articles on this this website if she wants to argue about it.
This is not going to be easy. This is going to take some time. Probably months. By kind, be understanding, be loving. Don’t yell, don’t raise your voice. BUT DO NOT GIVE IN ON THIS. You are fighting for the long-term health of your family.
Eventually, your wife is going to make love to you while porn plays in the background. She will start having more orgasms because, the real fact of ths matter is, it is going to turn her on. (It is important to use only holy erotica for this. Female-friendly, romantic. You can find it gathered at HolyErotica.com so you don’t have to go browsing to find it.
This should not be something you do a couple times a week. Wake up each morning getting wood from erotic pictures. Go to bed each night after screwing like rabbits while watching erotica.
Eventually, the erotica will be less necessary. She’ll be jumping your bones in the shower, in the living room. You will wake up at night to her frigging your leg.
That, my friends, is what a holy marriage looks like.