The essence of being a man includes rescuing women and children in a flood, it includes hunting and fishing, backpacking, and, yes, watching porn. Hurricane Harvey this week has shown us that the manly virtues are not things that can be quickly thrown away.
Yes, I know that the feminizing movement is active in the church. It wants to redefine manliness to be estrogen-laden males. it wants us to vacuum the floor and to communicate fully our inner lives. But when we need real men, it is not these beta-males who show up.
When the feminizing movement showed up in the church, it did not directly attack courage, instead it told boys that they shouldn’t fight back – even if attacked or defending a weaker person. It didn’t directly attack hunting or fishing, instead it told husbands that they ought to “spend more time with their family.” But men have been spending time with their boys for many centuries – by hunting and fishing. It didn’t tell men to stop having sex with their wives, it just attacked their erotic desires – called it lust – and tried to convince men that the only Godly sexual desire involved candlelit dinners and long walks in the twilight.
But Godly sexual desire also includes pure physical desire, pure desire to grab their wives sexual parts and go to slurping and humping. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, ungodly about this.
Yes, there is also a place for romantic, sweet, and tender lovemaking. But there is nothing inherently more Godly and holy about tender and sweet versus hot and fervent. I dare you to find any scripture that even hints differently.
Christian men should be encouraged to be manly. To want sex – early, late, and often. The best way to encourage this is by depicting sex to them and not placing a guilt-trip on them for liking it.
Firstly, Christian men aren’t getting married because there are so few single Christian men.
When is the last time you saw a Christian single man at church? Was he available? Of course not. He was grabbed up. There are few single men at the church because the church makes no attempt to reach them. Oh yes, the women are trying to reach them and bring them to church with them. But the men don’t show up, and are not being sought, by the church. When the grace of God reaches down and touches a young man, and he shows up to church, then the feminized church will drive him away. Masculinity, sweat, hunting, fishing, competing, are all treated as a vaguely distasteful necessity of having men at the church. But the “real” Christian men will be feminized. They will have great “listening” skills and their gestures will be comfortably familiar to females. When the church later discovers that they are homosexual, they will be shocked.
The only “men’s” program at the church is the program for families. The singles groups are full of women and the lessons are all about dieting, diabetes education, communication, and recovery from “emotional abuse” of their ex-boyfriends and husbands.
If a man is a real man, if he likes beer and naked women. If he has a beard and a likes to look at women’s boobs, then he will be shunted to a Promise Keeper’s group to be properly educated out of his gender.
And, God help us, if these men like sex, if they like to look at naked women, if they go online to look at pornography and erotica, then they must be disciplined, they must be discipled, the must be cured of their “Porn Addiction”
Are you surprised that masculine men don’t want anything to do with Christ?
And it is a shame, because Jesus and his disciples were men’s men. They could stand up in front of the Sanhedrin and tell them that they would obey God rather than men. They could work all night, naked, on a boat in the middle of the sea of Galilee, even if they caught nothing.
Christian men aren’t getting married because the church has decided it doesn’t want Christian single men, it just wants properly schooled girly-men.
So, someone reading this site didn’t like what I said. So, instead of answering with a reasoned argument, they went through all of the posts and found an image that they thought I had improperly used, contacted the picture owners and attempted to get me fined.
Since this site is free, makes no money, and actually costs me money, this is an attempt to shut me down.
It didn’t work. I inline link – not copy – images. So no copyright infringement exists.
But what is so sad is that this person, who identifies himself or herself as a servant of Christ, would rather anonymously punish someone who disagrees rather than discuss. It is the tactics of Hell and not of Heaven. It is the tactics of repression and not the tactics of American freedom.
I suspect that this person would quote Matt 5:28 about looking on a woman with lust but didn’t seem to read 3 verses above
Mat 5:23-24 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.
But this supposed Bible believer didn’t even have the courage to leave a comment before trying to call the courts down on me. This is a sad commentary on the state of today’s church. Opinions have taken the place of Bible, hatred has replaced love, and attacks the place of reasoned debate.
The feminized church can no longer imagine what a masculine Christianity ever was or should be.
David, the man after God’s own heart, was as hypersexual as any man in history. God rebuked him only for stealing his friend’s wife. Michelangelo’s famous statue is not a picture of a girly-man.
Paul could preach so strongly that he was stoned. He did not express “empathy” and he did not “help hurting people.” He preached the gospel – a gospel that made men so mad that they stoned him.
Jesus did not back down to Pilate. He did not try to find common ground. He did not try to understand where Pilate was coming from. Instead he told him that “for this cause came I into the world, that I should bear witness unto the truth.”
When the famous circuit rider of Colorado, Father John L Dyer, had a man come to church and mocking the altar call, he told him, “You came in the door, but you are going out the window.” This man, called “The snowshoe itinerant” traveled across the continental divide all winter in order to preach the gospel.
Any of these men would not be welcome in today’s church. They were not sufficiently “nurturing.” David would have been forced to confess his sex “addiction” Paul would have been called “divisive.” Jesus, himself, would have been counseled about how to be more “seeker-friendly”
It is time we took back Christianity. I don’t think that we can change the church be “becoming involved” I think we can change the church by standing up on feet, expressing our masculinity without apology or fear and proclaiming that we love Christ, we love being a man, and yes, we like sex.
View the videos on HolyErotica without fear or guilt. Be a man to your wife. Be a man in the church. She will love and respect you the more for refusing to be a hypocrite and the church will learn what it means to see a man.
Because we gave the territory of erotic desire over to Larry Flynt and Hugh Hefner, the erotica industry is populated only with people promoting lust, licentiousness, adultery and fornication. But it shouldn’t be so. There ought to be thousands of internet sites that are filled with Christian married couples making beautiful sex tapes which other single people and married couples can view. There is no command in the Bible for the prudishness foisted on us by our Victorian ancestors. The Bible commands us to flee fornication and flee youthful lusts. But that doesn’t mean that a young man should flee sexual desire. In fact, if a young man does not have strong sexual urges, he needs to visit a psychiatrist (like me 🙂 to find out what is wrong. That desire is what leads him to seek a wife and become a responsible husband.
So you’re a sincere Christian man and you have looked at porn your entire life. You feel terribly guilty about this. Your prayers are hindered as a result. All of the “Men’s retreats” at your church concentrate on one subject and one subject only – “Pornography Addiction”. You have tried giving it up multiple times. You confessed to your pastor and got an “accountability partner.” After the first couple of times you stopped telling him how you have “fallen” again. Maybe you even lost him as a friend as a result.
You feel all alone, because your church has placed you on a merry-go-round of eternal guilt. After decades of trying to beat your “porn addiction” you sense that you will always watch it. Maybe you even dropped out of church, since you knew that you must not be a Christian. Christians should be able to overcome at least one addiction!
You have fallen prey to the modern Pharisees. You have been duped into a falsehood. There is no command in the Bible telling you to avoid erotic stories or images. In fact, the opposite is true. The Bible is full of erotica. It describes and treats masturbation just like it treats sex, pregnancy, and menstruation – as normal parts of a holy life. The command to avoid pornography is man’s tradition, not God’s command and certainly not Bible.
Here are the links proving that you are a good Christian with whom God is well-pleased.
Lu 1:1 Forasmuch as many have taken in hand to set forth in order a declaration of those things which are most surely believedamong us,
To listen to the sermons and read the web pages of the modern evangelical church, you would think that the principles of the gospel are freedom from “addictions” and helping people overcome their “hurts”.
Not long ago I passed a small church with a sign out front that said, “We help hurt people.” I thought, yeah, you probably do. People come to you for help and you help to hurt them.
I once attended a church in the Texas panhandle who thought that the principles of the gospel were to keep the women in “modest” apparel – long baggy dresses with long sleeves. To keep their hair long and uncut. To keep them from wearing jewelry which might gain attention. In short, to keep women as uglified as possible in order to keep the men of the church from lusting after them.
This worked as well as you might imagine. The pastor snuck off to Lubbock to look at porn and purchase prostitutes. He slavered after the young wives of the church, committed adultery with them, and broke up their marriages. He felt guilty about these things, of course. He went to other pastors in towns to confess his sins in order to attempt to use “accountability” to recover from his “addiction.” It didn’t work. – Of course, it didn’t work. Making up your own gospel never does.
The principles of the gospel – those things “most surely believed” are not the things MOST IMPORTANT TO US. Just because we have been raised in the prudish Victorian principles of anti-erotica, and just because our God-given biology forces us to behave in opposition to these unscriptural principles, does not mean that these are the things MOST IMPORTANT TO GOD.
God cares about the gospel. Jesus came to tell us God’s word. He didn’t come to back up the Pharisees in their traditions. The Gospel of Jesus is about dying for our sins, being resurrected for our regeneration, promising us that he will return for our hope of the resurrection. The sins that he wishes to deliver us from are Adultery, Fornication, Hatred, Murder, Rioting, Drunkeness (Galations 5:19-20) not “addictions.” He came to give us the source of the fruits of the Spirit – Love, Joy, Peace, etc. We help people overcome their addictions (the true addictions, I mean) because they prevent the fruits of the spirit from being expressed in their lives. But the centrality of the Gospel is not MEN but GOD. It is about Jesus and our relationship to him.
The Church must return to preaching the gospel instead of being a self-help group guided only by Pop Psychology that has no source in either the gospel or science.
Erotica – or what today we inaccurately call porn – is, as God showed us in the Song of Solomon, part of a healthy lifestyle. If we are guided by Scripture, the we would be promoting Holy Erotica (as I do in my website HolyErotica.com)
Today’s church is being seduced, like the foolish Galations so long ago, into believing a gospel of works. That living a Christian life means living and talking about Jesus, not running around talking about the most current fad to preach against.
Are you tired of the nannies who keep trying to tell us what is bad for us? I know that I am. For some years the vegetarians have been trying to order us to give up meat. They told us that humans are all supposed to be vegetarians or vegans. They enlisted the support of nanny-state regulators to stop us from enjoying Big Macs and T-Bones.
Meanwhile, we doctors have to treat the anemia from the B12, Folic Acid, and iron deficiencies of people who allowed the food puritans to give them orders.
Now a segment of the right has jumped into the Nanny business. Supposedly viewing pornography is now “addiction”. All of the studies disprove this. I treat addicts all of the time. Not once have I had a patient who could not go to work in the morning because he couldn’t stop watching porn. Not once have I had a man who ended up in the emergency room from porn. I have treated hyper-sexual people, but they are, without fail, suffering from another psychiatric disease that caused the hypersexuality. (Bipolar, Mental Retardation, Schizophrenia)
I want you to notice something. All of these “Porn Addiction” experts ARE NOT PSYCHIATRISTS. The number one man out there making money off of these false claims (dare I say “fake news”) is Gary Wilson (Your Brain On Porn). He is not even a scientist. He has not one peer-reviewed study to his name. He is an anatomy lab tech is at a 2nd rate state university.
The Psychiatrists have made it clear. Porn is not an addiction. There is no “Porn Addiction” diagnosis in the manual. It doesn’t have the effect on the brain that drugs and behaviors of addiction do. You do not become desensitized to porn with use, in fact the opposite occurs, the brain responds better with more use. You are no more “addicted” to porn than a newly wed is “addicted” to sex with his wife. Nor does use of porn lead one into more perverse sexual behaviors. The opposite occurs. The young man sees the perverse behaviors, may even try them out, is repelled by them and returns to more healthy sexual habits as he gets older. Ted Bundy’s manipulated his dupe “Dr.” James Dobson into becoming an anti-porn activist. But Dobson has a single child-psychology degree and no post-doctoral research to his name. Bundy claimed that porn caused his abberant behavior. If that is true, then why are the 70% of men who admit to using porn and the 99% of men who actually look at it running around killing people.
What is it in humans that causes us to want others to stop having fun. Is it resentment that if I can’t have fun, then no one else should be able to? Because Mama made me eat my vegetables, I have to make sure everyone eats nothing but vegetables. Because Mama didn’t want me to “play with myself” then I must make sure that no one ever flogs the one-eyed snake?
I have just launched HolyErotica.com. It I have launched this site for the purpose of providing Christians with depictions of pure, loving, and holy sex. Here is my mission statement for the site.
What is “Holy Erotica”
Holy Sex is between a husband and a wife. God intended men (and women) to be excited by the thought of sex. He intended us to be excited about beautiful bodies and the thought of sex with them. There is nothing wrong and everything right about us enjoying written and visual depictions of sex. But these depictions should either be depictions of holy sex or if the sex is unholy, then the depiction ought to include an unattractive end result of sin – which is sorrow, pain, and death.
Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
Sex should be beautiful, pure, loving, and kind. It should not involve more than two people. It should not include humiliation, bondage or pain. Both people involved in the erotic depiction should appear to love one another and enjoy the act.
Song of Solomon 8:7 Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.
Good art depicts the ideal, the perfect. So Holy Erotica will show perfect sex. Of course, in real life perfection does not exist, but that doesn’t mean I want to see imperfection. I don’t watch romantic movies where they live unhappily ever after and I don’t watch porn that has pimpled, ugly, fat, and old people. If I wanted to see an old fat guy having sex I would put a mirror on my bedroom ceiling.
Our imaginations were intended to be on holy and pure things. So the videos on this site will show pure sex, between two people or one person with their own self, in its most pure form.
Phillippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
I know that most porn is produced by unmarried partners, but the sex act, itself is holy. Just as a beautiful meal can be consumed by a glutton, so also the holy act of sex can be participated in by sinful people. In my mind, the sex depicted is presumed to be marital – I don’t ask for marriage certificates.
I Corinthians 10:27-28 If any of them that believe not bid you to a feast, and ye be disposed to go; whatsoever is set before you, eat, asking no question for conscience sake. But if any man say unto you, This is offered in sacrifice unto idols, eat not for his sake that shewed it, and for conscience sake: for the earth is the Lord’s, and the fulness thereof:
If, in the depiction, the participants state that they are unmarried, then that video will not be intentionally on this site.
So, the “porn” (really erotica) on this HolyErotica.com site are going to be either solo or between (presumably) married couples who love one another and are mutually enjoying the act. If there is any gagging, “make her swallow”, spanking, BDSM, anal, gang-bangs or other humiliating acts, and (of course) underage sex, then it is by accident and I would appreciate being contacted and informed of my oversight.
Despite the claims of the “porn addiction” crowd, I have viewed porn for over four decades without any desire to “escalate” to depraved acts. I love sex with my wife as much today as I did on our marriage day when we gave our virginity to each other. We both enjoy it a lot more than we did that night because we have gained some skills in the intervening decades – some of those skills were gained by watching “porn.”
One of the most arguments against christian married couples enjoying porn together is that the artificial perfection of the women and couples in porn will make the couple unsatisfied with the imperfections in each other.
This argument does not stand up to examination. Firstly, that is not the experience of couples who watch porn. Secondly, this argument isn’t used in any other situation. Thirdly, imagining the ideal is precisely what Christians and Jews have taught as the proper behavior for thousands of years.
Let’s take these one at a time.
Couples who watch porn do not experience decreased desire for each other.
The anti-porn advocate selectively quotes from the “question” part of the study that asks whether erotica-viewing will reduce marital desire. He then leaves out the results of the study – which contradicts his pre-determined conclusion. After studying 34 couples who were tested after viewing erotic and non-erotic stimuli. Here is what the authors wrote.
Participants viewing both the erotic and exciting films reported equivalent increases in excitement; however, the erotic film was rated as slightly more generally arousing and increased participant's desire to be close to their partner...viewing erotic films led to more positive evaluations of one's own sexual behaviors.
In short, the study states that couples who watched erotica – whether singly or alone – desired each other more. Of course they did. They got turned on by the fantasy and wanted some of the real thing from each other.
But why is this. Shouldn’t the fantasy make the reality less desirable? No
We use fantasy models all the time
Remember the wax fruit craze of the ’70’s. My mother put out a bowl of wax fruit as decoration. Did you ever try to bite into it? Well, I did. Mom was not happy. I discovered that models rarely taste as good as they look. Nevertheless, those perfect-looking waxed fruits did whet my desire for real fruit. If something can LOOK that good, surely somewhere there is something that TASTES that good.
When I go to the department store to buy clothes, I am surrounded by mannequins modelling those clothes. I know perfectly well that there are no male bodies with perfect abs like that outside of Hollywood (I’ll give you Chris Hemsworth). I certainly don’t look that nice. Yet I buy those polo shirts anyway. The store knows that showing me the ideal will increase my desire for the everyday.
When I watch Grey’s Anatomy with my wife, she knows perfectly well that I will never approach the manly perfection displayed
But I have gotten my bones jumped a few times after the episode!
Christians believe in Platonic Ideals
My point is that healthy brains are perfectly capable of distinguishing between the ideal and the prosaic. In fact, that is the way our brain works. We name things by the ideal. When Adam named the animals, he didn’t name them for ranges of attributes. (Four legged animal that eats grass, chews cud, and gives milk – coming in a range of colors and sizes) but rather for an ideal (this cow is larger than usual, with black and white spots instead of uniform brown).
As Judea-Christian philosophers, we believe that heaven contains the models of things that exist on earth. The perfect marriage is Christ and the Church. Contemplating this perfect love does not cause me to love my wife less, but more.
Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
So also, contemplating the perfect sex causes me to love sex with my wife more
I know that the sex models aren’t actually that perfect. That a guy cannot maintain an erection that long, that my wife isn’t going to moan that excitedly. That we aren’t both going to have simultaneous orgasms very often. I certainly know that I am not endowed with that many inches.
But that doesn’t keep me from using the inches that God endowed me with to please her and make her as happy as any porn star ever thought of being.