The feminized church can no longer imagine what a masculine Christianity ever was or should be.
David, the man after God’s own heart, was as hypersexual as any man in history. God rebuked him only for stealing his friend’s wife. Michelangelo’s famous statue is not a picture of a girly-man.
Paul could preach so strongly that he was stoned. He did not express “empathy” and he did not “help hurting people.” He preached the gospel – a gospel that made men so mad that they stoned him.
Jesus did not back down to Pilate. He did not try to find common ground. He did not try to understand where Pilate was coming from. Instead he told him that “for this cause came I into the world, that I should bear witness unto the truth.”
When the famous circuit rider of Colorado, Father John L Dyer, had a man come to church and mocking the altar call, he told him, “You came in the door, but you are going out the window.” This man, called “The snowshoe itinerant” traveled across the continental divide all winter in order to preach the gospel.
Any of these men would not be welcome in today’s church. They were not sufficiently “nurturing.” David would have been forced to confess his sex “addiction” Paul would have been called “divisive.” Jesus, himself, would have been counseled about how to be more “seeker-friendly”
It is time we took back Christianity. I don’t think that we can change the church be “becoming involved” I think we can change the church by standing up on feet, expressing our masculinity without apology or fear and proclaiming that we love Christ, we love being a man, and yes, we like sex.
View the videos on HolyErotica without fear or guilt. Be a man to your wife. Be a man in the church. She will love and respect you the more for refusing to be a hypocrite and the church will learn what it means to see a man.
So, it is my position that Christian men can view what is considered pornography (wrongly called, it should be erotica) without being wrong. I say this for three reasons. Firstly, holy erotica is God-ordained and inspired. Secondly, it is healthy. Thirdly, sincere holy men have been looking at “dirty” art for thousands of years without our religion being destroyed.
Firstly, Erotica is God-ordained. The Bible includes everything necessary for a Christian life. God knew that people would be angry at life’s injustices, so he put in the book of Job. He knew that people would question him, so he put in many of the Psalms and the book of Habakkuk. He knew that people would feel hopeless as they approached old age, so he put in the book of Ecclesiastes. Proverbs is filled with miscellaneous advice on thousands of important subjects.
And God knew that single people should be reminded how wonderful married love is, and he knew that married people would need to encourage their sexual desire so that it would not become humdrum. So he put in the play of the Song of Solomon that includes nudity, erotica, and explicit sexual imagery. Solomon had this play performed live in his court – in short – he had live sex shows, since video hadn’t been invented yet. God included this “porn” (actually erotica) in his Bible for a reason. That reason is to inform us that in our railing against adulter and fornication we should not forget that marital sex was invented by God for the pleasure of his people.
Secondly, Erotica is healthy. Despite what you read about from non-physician, non-psychiatrist, pseudo-experts like “YourBrainOnPorn” Gary Wilson; studies do NOT show that your brain is harmed by viewing erotica. In fact, a recent study showed that couples who overcome the imposed guilt of the legalistic churches were drawn closer together, even if the erotica was viewed alone. If brains were truly damaged so badly by porn, then the 70% of men who ADMIT that the view porn regularly and the 29% who lie about it would be wandering the streets waiting to murder and rape women. And yet, most marriages seem to survive and thrive in spite of these poor husbands’ brains being destroyed. We would like to provide a study showing that marriages survive more when men view porn, but we can’t find any men who don’t watch porn. The “Porn Addiction” so much quoted by these pseudo-experts simply doesn’t exist, which is why the psychiatrists did not include it as a diagnosis in the newly released Diagnostic Statistical Manual 5(DSM5). Vegetarians want to define bacon as an addiction, and the new puritans want to define erotica as an addiction. Neither is.
Thirdly, sincere Christian men are already viewing porn. Yes, I know, Christians sin all the time. But if the Holy Spirit is really guiding ANY Christians and God hates porn so much, then SOME of them should be overcoming. Yet the studies show that there is no difference between the porn viewing habits of proclaiming Christians and non-believers. That is because God is not helping men to overcome an act that he never forbade.
The church, dominated the dear sisters who don’t understand the biological desire that God gave all men keep trying to accomplish the impossible. The natural result is a church empty of men. Pastors who counsel marital couples when the husbands porn “addiction” is discovered actually destroy the marriage.
I have just launched HolyErotica.com. It I have launched this site for the purpose of providing Christians with depictions of pure, loving, and holy sex. Here is my mission statement for the site.
What is “Holy Erotica”
Holy Sex is between a husband and a wife. God intended men (and women) to be excited by the thought of sex. He intended us to be excited about beautiful bodies and the thought of sex with them. There is nothing wrong and everything right about us enjoying written and visual depictions of sex. But these depictions should either be depictions of holy sex or if the sex is unholy, then the depiction ought to include an unattractive end result of sin – which is sorrow, pain, and death.
Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
Sex should be beautiful, pure, loving, and kind. It should not involve more than two people. It should not include humiliation, bondage or pain. Both people involved in the erotic depiction should appear to love one another and enjoy the act.
Song of Solomon 8:7 Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.
Good art depicts the ideal, the perfect. So Holy Erotica will show perfect sex. Of course, in real life perfection does not exist, but that doesn’t mean I want to see imperfection. I don’t watch romantic movies where they live unhappily ever after and I don’t watch porn that has pimpled, ugly, fat, and old people. If I wanted to see an old fat guy having sex I would put a mirror on my bedroom ceiling.
Our imaginations were intended to be on holy and pure things. So the videos on this site will show pure sex, between two people or one person with their own self, in its most pure form.
Phillippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
I know that most porn is produced by unmarried partners, but the sex act, itself is holy. Just as a beautiful meal can be consumed by a glutton, so also the holy act of sex can be participated in by sinful people. In my mind, the sex depicted is presumed to be marital – I don’t ask for marriage certificates.
I Corinthians 10:27-28 If any of them that believe not bid you to a feast, and ye be disposed to go; whatsoever is set before you, eat, asking no question for conscience sake. But if any man say unto you, This is offered in sacrifice unto idols, eat not for his sake that shewed it, and for conscience sake: for the earth is the Lord’s, and the fulness thereof:
If, in the depiction, the participants state that they are unmarried, then that video will not be intentionally on this site.
So, the “porn” (really erotica) on this HolyErotica.com site are going to be either solo or between (presumably) married couples who love one another and are mutually enjoying the act. If there is any gagging, “make her swallow”, spanking, BDSM, anal, gang-bangs or other humiliating acts, and (of course) underage sex, then it is by accident and I would appreciate being contacted and informed of my oversight.
Despite the claims of the “porn addiction” crowd, I have viewed porn for over four decades without any desire to “escalate” to depraved acts. I love sex with my wife as much today as I did on our marriage day when we gave our virginity to each other. We both enjoy it a lot more than we did that night because we have gained some skills in the intervening decades – some of those skills were gained by watching “porn.”
I take the position that Christians should watch porn. But in saying this, I do not defend the position that all porn is good. In fact, the vast majority of the porn on the internet is junk. It is full of hatefulness, degradation, gang bangs and adultery. Anyone who loves God knows that these things are evil.
My statement that “I like porn” is similar to the statement “I like sex.” It is not a defense of every act of sex, or even most acts of sex, that take place.
A quote from CS Lewis’ Screwtape Letters is appropriate:
Never forget that when we are dealing with any pleasure in its healthy and normal and satisfying form, we are, in a sense, on the Enemy’s [God’s] ground. I know we have won many a soul through pleasure. All the same, it is [God’s] invention, not ours. He made the pleasures: all our research so far has not enabled us to produce one. All we can do is to encourage humans to take the pleasures which our Enemy has produced, at times, or in ways, or in degrees, which He has forbidden. Hence we always try to work away from the natural condition of any pleasure to that in which it is least natural, least redolent of its Maker, and least pleasurable. An ever-increasing craving for an ever diminishing pleasure is the formula…. To get the man’s soul and give NOTHING in return–that is what really gladdens [Satan’s] heart.
There is a small amount of porn out there, beautiful couple porn and individual person porn, that celebrates the beauty and wonder of sex as God intends it. Two people who love one another have committed themselves to create a family will then celebrate that union in rapturous, orgasmic joy and pleasure. To watch this rapturous joy and vicariously experience in ourselves is to participate in God’s plan or pleasure and to be brought closer to each other and God. This is why he allowed us into the sexual experiences of Solomon and his Shunnamite wife.
I believe my favorite erotic clip of all times is this scene from “The Neon Bull”. (Warning, this clip shows explicit sex). I see a husband making love to the mother of his child. Watching this sort of erotica does not lead me to (as the “porn addiction” advocates claim) see more depraved porn. In fact, depraved sex has never appealed to me. I have never wanted to humiliate my wife with sex. I have never wanted to “split her open”, “make her gag”, “make her swallow” or “make her” do anything else. Sex is not a matter of “using” one another at all, except in the sense that I want my wife to use ME for her pleasure and vica-versa. Occasionally, when I am sated and not particularly needing sex, I enjoy watching my darling enjoy herself with my body.
When I watch this pure sort of erotica, it makes me a better husband, it makes me a better man. I become more loving, I seek to reach the ideal that the erotica
Now, watching the other stuff does not have the same effect. It can make me more selfish, it can make sex with my wife less loving, less pure, less unselfish.
Of course what we watch affects us. It should. That is why God told us,
“Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” (Philippians 4:8)
I am not pleased with how much effort that I have to make to find these pure and holy erotic scenes. I wish that someone would create a website that contained links to only these items. What do you think?
So you want your wife to understand and (fantasy) maybe even join you.
There are lots of websites telling you how to confess to your wife but you didn’t come here to find that out.
I’m a psychiatrist and the art of psychiatry is the skill of getting people to act in their own best interest even when they don’t want to. We do this by realizing their perceptual distortions and helping them overcome them.
Everyone, not just schizophrenics, have perceptual distortions. Remember when we used to read comic strips (I know, dinosaur age) Cathy had a perceptual distortion about her weight. Much like an anorexic
Now you think that only sick people think that way, but you are wrong. Everyone does this. I recently got a hair cut and the hair falling in my lap was grey. This is strange, because the hair I see in the mirror is brown. I have to actually cut off a piece and look at it separately before I can perceive it’s true color. I once dyed it and was confused because it didn’t change color (in my mirror) while everyone else laughed at my attempt to look younger.
So your wife thinks that she is fat and ugly. When she looks in the mirror her baby stretch marks stand out like beacons. Her breasts sag like a tribal woman in National Geographic. Her hair is a straggly mess of grey that should belongs in the Salem Witch Trials and her butt is a dimpled mess.
Now you don’t see her that way (or you shouldn’t – if you do, then some family counseling is in order – more in a later post). You see her through eyes of love. Those stretch marks are from your babies that nursed at those lovely breasts. You have mounted that butt with joy uncountable times.
This is why your wife has such a violent (literally sometimes) reaction to the thought of you viewing porn. She thinks that you are wishing to be out of your marriage, to be able to “hit that.” She thinks that you are “lusting in your heart” that you want to sneak off and “get a piece” of that pretty young thing.
Your job is to get her to see it through another lens – through the lens of romantic chick flicks on the Hallmark channel. When Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman and Sully make out, is she thinking – “Oh, I wish I could kiss that manly tomahawk-wielding hunter in buckskins with long wavy hair”.
No, of course not, she is seeing herself as Dr. Quinn and you are her Sully. That’s why you take her to the theater and sit through chick flix right? For the sex afterwards. Yeah, I know you do and YOU know you do.
Don’t try to argue your side. That will only lead to many long arguments which you may or may not win, depending on your marriage dynamics. You need to tell her how you see her while not giving up your masculinity.
For example. Let’s say that your wife has watched Game of Thrones with you (even though she makes you fast forward through the good parts). Someday, when she is naked, stare at her breasts for a long time, lick your lips, play with a nipple and say, “You know, you look like Daenarys Stormborn but with LOTS bigger boobies.”
Now, you are going to get a rise out of her. She is going to ask what you are doing looking at Danni’s tits. You reply, “Hey, I’m a guy, I like titties. Wanna make love?” She’ll continue to argue, you just keep touching her and telling her how turned on she makes you and asking for immediate sex. Tell her that you are a man, show her your erection and prove it. Even if this ends with, “I’m not have sex with you if you are thinking about other women” You have begun to make your point.
Then, a few days later, after you have had great sex and are cuddling together, you say,
“God, that was hot, I just feel like I fucked <famous pornstar>”
“Who is that”
Yes, she is going to hit you. Be prepared. You’re playing the long game here. She is going to be angry that you just confessed to watching porn. Make sure that you are prepared; don’t lose your temper; don’t raise your voice; just don’t. Your line is “I’m a guy, aren’t you glad that I’m a man and like girls. I sure like you. You turn me on and I love having great sex with you. You’re the only porn star that I have ever made love to. Let’s have sex again.”
You might even ask her, “You’re so hot, can I take some pictures of you to beat-off to when I’m at work.” If she lets you do this, then make sure and call her from work and tell her that you are jacking-off to her pictures.
Her line of attack will be to try to get you to promise to stop it. Tell her, “Ok, if that’s what you want.” But then say that she knows and you know that you will just do it again – no matter how hard you try. Ask her if she wants to know when you look at porn the next time. Then say, “I need you to drain my balls, right now, let’s have sex.”
She will try to get you to get “help” from “mindfulness” or “porn addiction” snake oil “experts” like Gary Wilson. This is your line in the sand. Tell her these guys are doing just as much porn as anyone else and they are not experts and do not have a cure. And then drop it and return to telling her how sexy she is. “Let’s have sex.”
Now, you used a porn actresses name on purpose. That name is going to drive her nuts. SHE IS GOING TO LOOK THAT NAME UP AND WATCH IT. I hope that you didn’t use a name of someone you actually liked, because even after you win the day THAT actress is going to be off the table. You won’t be able to watch anything with her in it ever again. Ok, yes, I may have made that mistake.
So this argument is going to go on for weeks and months. Hold the line without getting mad. Your line is that God made you like this. You like looking at naked women. You are a man and isn’t she glad of that. And (the ultimate argument terminator) she is turning you on by talking about sex this way, “Let’s have sex.”