Pastor questions his porn legalism and then stops thinking

James Emory White is a pastor in Charlottesville NC.  He writes an article asking “Is Pornography Really Wrong?”  I thought, wow, this is amazing, a pastor who actually asks the question.

Sadly, it’s only pretend.  The question was only asked as a trick to get people to read the same disproved points that the legalists have been trying to push for years.

  1. It is lust — Not it isn’t.  No Jesus did not tell you that you couldn’t look at anything that turned you on.  He told you not to LUST.  Lust is desire out of control.  If you don’t make plans, or wish you could get into a woman’s pants, you haven’t lusted.  Admiring her body is not lust
  2. It is addictive — No it isn’t.  The American Psychiatric Association has spoken on this repeatedly.  But this isn’t the pastor’s real problem.  If he really thought that ANY thing that was addictive was sinful, then he would be railing against processed sugar and caffeine.  To substances that don’t cause any problems in people’s lives but are, unquestionably, addictive
  3. It is degrading to women — Not all of it is.  If this is his problem, then he ought to be directing his men to HolyErotica.com  because it doesn’t have degrading porn.
  4. “Studies show” It leads to other sins (specifically rape) —   Absolute and total nonsense.  There is no study that shows such a thing.  He doesn’t bother to actually link to any of these “studies”
  5. It harms your relationship with your spouse —- According to him, Porn causes you to stop have sex with your wife.   This is nonsense, and many, many studies have proven this repeatedly.  For example, read this post.
  6. It desensitizes your soul —- or, makes God pull away from you because you are sinning.  This is called “Begging the Question”  or “Presuming the consequent”  He presumes porn is wrong and then uses that presumption to claim that God will be displeased, therefore porn must be wrong.  Erotica is wrong because he presumes it is wrong.
  7. It reduces sex to lust — This is the most annoying point of all.  He acts like erotic desire is lust.  This is falling for the lie of the world.  Lust and erotic desire are not related.  If I desire my wife I do not LUST for her.  This is the old dualistic “spirit” and “body” heresy.  He would recognize that as a heresy if he read it in any other context.

This pastor has the same objectivity when talking about erotica as CNN has about President Trump.

Seven things for Christians to do after they jack off to porn

The anti-erotica legalists are almost all women.  But occasionally a man who has been indoctrinated to hate himself writes something.  Today I will link to one of these poor souls.

According to this pH D at Moody Bible Institute, this is what you do after watching porn.  He is wrong, but because he is a man, he actually understands a couple things.

  1. Recognize it is Satan’s fault (LOL)
  2. Fight Self-hatred (induced by your shame because of what other people told you)
  3. Fight the haze (Don’t relax, because you must be always tense to be a christian)
  4. Guard others (apparently you are now an incipient rapist, just waiting to anally rape anyone)
  5. Confess to friend (so he can feel better about HIS porn use)
  6. Use your clarity for good. (Apparently, now that your balls are empty, you can use your frontal lobe again)
  7. Know your God (pray and pray until you get horny the next time)

Poor, sad, deluded man.  His whole life is about porn.  He lives in between his porn use episodes in a haze of shame, confession, trying to find new restrictions that will stop him next time, anguished prayer and self-flagellation, and then, inevitably, the next porn episode.

How much better would it be if he simply accepted the Bible standard.  Erotic desire is the natural and holy part of life.  Instead of trying to force himself to not have testicles, he could have rejoiced in it, shared this part of his life with his wife, and spent his freed-up energy to help his fellow man.

The New Christian Girly-man

Evangelical Girly Man
The New Evangelical Womans ideal jawline. Weak and easily manipulated.

The feminization of the church is never more clear than watching the evangelical chick-flick rom-coms.  Here, for example is the Mounty from Hallmark Channel’s “When Calls The Heart”.   His eyes are watery.  I’m sure that this actor is very good at quoting poetry (probably to his boyfriend at their wedding!)   See the weak jawline?

This mounty has a real jaw!

But everyone knows that a mounty has a square shape.  He’s a man.  He’s not afraid to stand alone.

What’s next?  A Texas ranger with soft skin?

No wonder these women expect their husbands to never look at a woman.  Their husbands have clear cut their balls off and placed them in their wife’s makeup bag.

Lying in order to support a “Christian” position

Christian White Lies
Lying in the defense of the faith is not Christian and not “white”

In this article a wife defends divorcing her husband because he was “addicted” to porn.  What’s more, she dedicates the rest of her life to writing and convincing other women to divorce their husbands for being men.

But to her sin of taking the Lords name in vain she adds another sin: Hypocritical Lying

Here’s what she says about “porn addiction”

A 2011 article on the neuroscience of pornography in the journal of Surgical Neurology International summarized the research and concluded, “Just as we consider food addiction as having a biologic basis, with no moral overlay or value-laden terminology, it is time we looked at pornography and other forms of sexual addiction with the same objective eye.”

This seems to add the confirmation of science to her contention that watching porn is an “addiction.”  However, if you actually click the link and discover what the article is saying, it is talking about pedophilia, not porn.   The article was making the point that the pre-frontal cortex can be changed by behaviors and not only by chemicals.  It does NOT make the point that pornography is addictive.   In fact, the American Psychiatric Association and all of the other scientific groups have gone out of their way to say that pornography use is NOT addictive.  They have published multiple articles on this and many studies.

So why does this wife tell this lie?  Because she wanted to divorce her husband and wanted to have a “holy” reason to do so.

According to my understanding, the only adultery in that wife’s marriage was her.  It is a shame that our churches are led by this sort of evil.

Porn Shocked Wives! Do they have PTSD

 

Wives shocked by their husband's porn use

She is Shocked! Shocked! to discover that her husband likes sexAccording to this article in an evangelical magazine, women who discover that their husband watches porn meet criteria for PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder).

No, they don’t.  But they do meet criteria for Delusional Disorder if they ever believed that their husband wasn’t going to look at porn.  They still meet it if they believe that their husband is going to be “cured” of his “porn addiction.”

The very first criteria of PTSD is that the person must have experienced a life-threatening event.  Finding out that your husband saw a nekkid woman does not qualify as “life-threatening” in the mind of any reasonable person.  If someone does believe that this is that traumatic then they are delusional and the wife is the one who needs psychiatric treatment – not the husband.

What really upsets me most is the results of a google search of wives discovering husband’s porn use is filled with articles talking about wives divorcing their husbands for this “sin.”   What is amazing is not one of these supposedly Christian articles tell the wife that divorce for this cause is absolutely, completely, and totally wrong and ungodly.

If the Christian church stands for anything in this culture, it should be for the preservation of the family.  Yet these women (it is invariably a female writer of the article) are willing to break up homes over an activity that they know is universal.  Every Christian husband has looked at porn.  So, according to these “Christian” writers, NO MARRIAGE SHOULD LAST.

This is evil.  When given a choice between destroying every family in the country and re-considering their anti-erotica position, they would rather be destroyers than admit that they are wrong.

This is the natural result of allowing the church to be taken over by the feminizers.  Not only are men to be driven out of the church, they are also to be driven from the home for their “toxic masculinity.”

If your wife falls under the influence of these destroyers, be a man.  Tell her that you will not bow to the doctrines of devils that have taken over the church.  You will not be forbidden to eat meat or to marry.  You will be a man.  You will continue to like sex and you will continue to have sex with her and her alone, but you will not cut off your balls to obey a teaching hatched in hell.

Porn, Masturbation, Sex, and Intimacy

Intimacy is necessary in life

I have received several feedback questions and comments about masturbation and loneliness.  None of these were from the puritanical crowd.  So I want to address an issue that some readers may find useful.

I believe that masturbation erotic videos/stories/pictures should be a part of a persons sexual life.  In fact, I go further and say that it ALREADY is a part of almost every man’s sexual experience and most women’s.  A problem occurs when there part of the universal sexual experience is considered shameful.

According to the psychologist Erickson, there are several stages of life that are not only universal, but necessary for psychological health.  A baby learns  “Trust vs Mistrust.”   A toddler learns “Autonomy versus Shame.”  A pre-school child learns “Initiative vs Guilt.”  An elementary child learns “Industry versus  Inferiority” and a teen learns “Identity versus Role Confusion”

It is in this “Identity” phase of growth that healthy, mature, and normal masturbation begins and, usually, erotic art is encountered.   When the teen boy encounters erotic material he discovers that he has a certain feeling about girls.  Thoughts of girls make him hard.  Girls in bikinis give him wood.  Girls in tight jeans make his jeans tight.  Thoughts about sex with girls make him cream  his underwear when he is asleep.   Eventually, he discovers that by touching himself he does not have to wait for an erotic dream.  He seeks out erotic material for masturbatory help.

This is normal and healthy.  But, and this is important, this is not the end of his sexual development.  In order to grow into a healthy adult, he must step into Erickson’s next stage “Intimacy versus Isolation”.  He must learn to share this sexual life with another person.  This proceeds in steps.  He first learns how to kiss girls, date girls, treat girls with respect.  He begins to learn that it is not enough to kiss a bunch of girls, but that this experience is best if it is shared with a single, special girl.    The search for a single, special girl with whom he wishes to be completely open with, to hide nothing, to bare his soul as well as his entire body.  To be truly naked, body and soul.  Is frightening and dangerous.  Many mistakes are made.     This search can consume only a few months of high school, or it may consume the next decade of his life.  This is the way it worked for me.  I spotted my soul mate at age 24 and married her 11 weeks later.  We are still together 3 decades later and will be separated only by death.

This new “Intimacy” stage is a universal NEED.  If a man misses out on it, he cannot be whole, he cannot be truly healthy.

Ok, that is not entirely true.  According to Jesus (who never married) it is possible to be a “Eunuch”

Matt 19:12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

These men are called specially by God for some reason that only they know.  However, this I know.  Such a man is a EUNUCH.  That is, he does not desire or want sex at all.  He will not be drawn to porn.   This is fairly rare and if someone is like this and wishes to talk about it with me, then he can hit the “Reply ” or “Contact Us” button.

Now, for the rest of us.   It is a mistake for a young man to get caught in the “Identity” phase of life, when he is just discovering his sexual self, and never step on to the “Intimacy” side of life.

Porn allows a man to delay his development into an intimate person.  This is fine.  In our society a man becomes sexual at least a decade or more before he is ready to be a husband and father.  But it is a mistake for any man to think that he can not ever step into the intimacy of an adult.

Porn has a place in an adult, intimate, man’s life.  It allows him to maintain his sexual desire for his one woman by maintaining a health fantasy life.   But it becomes a problem when it becomes a substitute for intimacy.  The man will end up feeling lonely, isolated, and cut off from humanity.  The result of this are depression and despair.

Why Christians should be for “Toxic Masculinity” and porn

The essence of being a man includes rescuing women and children in a flood, it includes hunting and fishing, backpacking, and, yes, watching porn.  Hurricane Harvey this week has shown us that the manly virtues are not things that can be quickly thrown away.

Yes, I know that the feminizing movement is active in the church.  It wants to redefine manliness to be estrogen-laden males.  it wants us to vacuum the floor and to communicate fully our inner lives.  But when we need real men, it is not these beta-males who show up.

When the feminizing movement showed up in the church, it did not directly attack courage, instead it told boys that they shouldn’t fight back – even if attacked or defending a weaker person.   It didn’t directly attack hunting or fishing, instead it told husbands that they ought to “spend more time with their family.”  But men have been spending time with their boys for many centuries – by hunting and fishing.  It didn’t tell men to stop having sex with their wives, it just attacked their erotic desires – called it lust – and tried to convince men that the only Godly sexual desire involved candlelit dinners and long walks in the twilight.

But Godly sexual desire also includes pure physical desire, pure desire to grab their wives sexual parts and go to slurping and humping.  There is nothing, absolutely nothing, ungodly about this.

Yes, there is also a place for romantic, sweet, and tender lovemaking.  But there is nothing inherently more Godly and holy about tender and sweet versus hot and fervent.  I dare you to find any scripture that even hints differently.

Christian men should be encouraged to be manly.  To want sex – early, late, and often.  The best way to encourage this is by depicting sex to them and not placing a guilt-trip on them for liking it.

Church fellowship groups – never about men

Man-free and female led
Few men show up

Looked in the church bulletin this morning and saw the same thing that was in every bulletin.  Events this week for the high school teens, the college youth, and the women’s weekly fellowship.

Hmm, do you notice who was left out?  The men, of course.  There was no place for the men to socialize.  There were no hunting, fishing, or four-wheeler/camping trips.  There were no trips to see sports games or monster trucks.

Do you think that men stay home all week and don’t go out with their friends?  Of course not.  The young men are hitting the single’s scenes (They are certainly not showing up to the “college youth” meetings.  Who wants to be sneered at as a sex-addict and probable future “emotional abuser”)

Their are lots of social events that men go to, but none of them are sponsored by the church.  There are soccer groups, bowling leagues, amateur baseball teams.  There are hunting groups, fishing friends, and bars where men can just hang out, drink beer, play cards, and talk about women.  Men get together to go to the rodeo or see wrestling or monster trucks.   None of these are approved by our new female-led churches.  We are more likely to be told that we have to go on “Daniel Fasts” that don’t include meat.  Certainly we can’t drink beer or talk about sports and boobies.

But the fact is that men have always done these things and always will.  The masculine pursuits are as Godly as weight-watchers and diabetes education workshops.  Jesus and his 12 disciples, along with the many other disciples including wives and single women, spent time in the wilderness, resting just before the crucifixion week.  I guarantee you that during that time there was some wine drinking, some wrestling, some races, and I think that the married couples did a lot of humping and the singles flirted.

This is not how the modern church treats its men.  It sneers at sweat, hunting, and bloody sports.  It treats their God-given sex-drive as an addiction.

Oh, by the way, there was one event scheduled that the men were encouraged to go to – Celebrate Recovery.  The church wants them to deal with their “addictions.”

Why Christian Men Aren’t Getting Married

This man is not welcome in the church

Great article at fox news.  Hat tip Instapundit.

Firstly, Christian men aren’t getting married because there are so few single Christian men.

When is the last time you saw a Christian single man at church?  Was he available?  Of course not.  He was grabbed up.  There are few single men at the church because the church makes no attempt to reach them.  Oh yes, the women are trying to reach them and bring them to church with them.  But the men don’t show up, and are not being sought, by the church.  When the grace of God reaches down and touches a young man, and he shows up to church, then the feminized church will drive him away.   Masculinity, sweat, hunting, fishing, competing, are all treated as a vaguely distasteful necessity of having men at the church.  But the “real” Christian men will be feminized.  They will have great “listening” skills and their gestures will be comfortably familiar to females.  When the church later discovers that they are homosexual, they will be shocked.

The only “men’s” program at the church is the program for families.  The singles groups are full of women and the lessons are all about dieting, diabetes education, communication, and recovery from “emotional abuse” of their ex-boyfriends and husbands.

If a man is a real man, if he likes beer and naked women.  If he has a beard and a likes to look at women’s boobs, then he will be shunted to a Promise Keeper’s group to be properly educated out of his gender.

And, God help us, if these men like sex, if they like to look at naked women, if they go online to look at pornography and erotica, then they must be disciplined, they must be discipled, the must be cured of their “Porn Addiction”

Are you surprised that masculine men don’t want anything to do with Christ?

And it is a shame, because Jesus and his disciples were men’s men.  They could stand up in front of the Sanhedrin and tell them that they would obey God rather than men.  They could work all night, naked, on a boat in the middle of the sea of Galilee, even if they caught nothing.

Christian men aren’t getting married because the church has decided it doesn’t want Christian single men, it just wants properly schooled girly-men.

Forbidding to marry and commanding to abstain from meats

Abstention is not holy
Asceticism is not holiness

I Tim 4:1-5 Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth. For every creature of God is good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving:  For it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer.

One of the most common methods of false holiness is asceticism, the attempt to look more holy than others by denying normal and Godly desire.

The medieval Catholics practiced this by forbidding their priests to marry and stopped them from eating meat on Friday and during Lent.   This allowed them to feel holy even while their were slaughtering babies, stealing from their neighbors, keeping mistresses, etc.

So also, today, our modern church movement has decided that it has to make up some new rules to make them feel holy.  Now, note, one of the most common sins in the pew today is probably fornication.  Unmarried couples are openly shacked up together.  Dating couples are assumed to be sleeping together.  Yet, the church ignores these sins and instead preaches against the boyfriend’s “addiction” to porn.

Turning to fake science, they believe that the man’s sleeping with his girlfriend doesn’t harm his brain, but somehow looking at erotica will.  Even though, the Bible clearly forbids the first and promotes the second.

This is not a new phenomenon.  Paul said that in the latter times people would depart from the faith and instead preach other doctrines – doctrines of devils.    Just because it is “forbidding” does not make it holy.  God is not a God of forbidding, but a God of pleasure.  When we take pleasure in the proper place (in our marriages, and in imaginations about marriages) then life is holy and pure.   When we add in our own commands – morphing the gospel into legalism and pharisaism – then we live lives of bondage and guilt.

So rejoice with the wife of thy youth.  Let your fountain be blessed as your watch erotica.  Enjoy the pleasures that God gave you and tell the legalists to go read their bible more and preach a false chastity less.