Christian Porn

Hot Christian Couple
Erotica is good and appropriate for married couples to watch together

Yes, Christian Porn exists.  Yes, you can look at it without guilt.  Yes, God intended you to watch erotica.  And, yes, you can find it here.

And, no it is not an addiction.

So much of the church world is consumed by the “fight against porn” that very little energy is left to preach the gospel and fulfill the great commission.  And, despite all of the efforts to combat it, the usage of porn among church-going people and non-church-going people is exactly the same.   Even the pastors are “addicted”.  (No, they aren’t)

So, let’s do a logic exercise.  If some non-miniscule part of the proclaiming Christian world are serious about their faith, and if some non-miniscule portion of these people are turning to God to help them with the “porn addiction,” and if God is willing to help his saints with this “problem” THEN the statistics of porn usage among proclaiming Christians would be lower than the usage of non-Christians by some non-miniscule degree.

But this is not so.  Christians in America watch porn at the same rate as non-Christians.  So, at least one of the following must be true.

  1. There are a miniscule number of “real” Christians who are asking God for help
  2. God is not willing to help his saints
  3. God doesn’t hate porn.

I suspect that a lot of our self-righteous evangelicals out there will probably choose number 1.   But this is really sad.  I meet way to many people who spend their lives praying, seeking God, living for God for me to believe that they are all deceived.  Why do you think that half of the calls to Focus on the Family are from people trying to find a way to “overcome” porn.  Do you really think that none of them are serious about loving and serving God.  Why would they make such a call if they were not.

Number 2 cannot be chosen by any Christian.

Number 3 is the only logical choice.  And it is confirmed by the Bible.

 

 

Peter worked “gymnos” that is: naked

Of course, Peter was naked. Why shouldn’t he be?

John 21:7 Therefore that disciple whom Jesus loved saith unto Peter, It is the Lord. Now when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he girt his fisher’s coat unto him, (for he was naked <gymnos>,) and did cast himself into the sea.

It is easy for us modern westerners, with our big houses, private bathrooms with frosted windows, and abundant clothes to retroactively ascribe our privacy taboos onto the ancient world.

One example of this is how we work so hard to put clothes on Simon Peter the fisherman when the Bible clearly tells us that he was naked.  Modern evangelicals have worked very hard to say that the word “naked” here, just means that he was “stripped to the waist” as the Living Bible puts it.

But this contradicts everything we know about the ancient world.    The Bible says that Peter was “gymnos” from which we get the word gym.  One of the most commonly known facts is that the Greek gymasts competed naked.

Ancient Athletes “gymnos” – naked

In fact, the Paul mentions this fact, in a complementary way, in Hebrews 12:1.

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us

I once had a missionary friend who showed me the videos he had taken on a trip to some tribal people who lived on islands.  He had to heavily edit the films in order to not show the nudity that was common.  These are people who are very conservative sexually.  They practice strict monogamy, yet men and women who work around water and in boats all day long do not drag walk around in wet clothes.  They, often, without embarrassment or shame, go naked.  They are not “nudists” or “naturists” that just don’t have the same weird hangups that our current culture has.

This same missionary would be taking a shower in the public shower house on the island when the local people (men and women) would walk in and look him up and down(I suppose to see if he was pale all over!).   It didn’t even occur to them that this might bother him.

Similarly, people who live in huts and houses that are, at most, 1 to 2 feet away from each other know a lot about each other’s sexual habits.   A family that lives in a house with a single room knows a lot about Mom and Dad’s sexual habits.  Otherwise everyone would be an only child.

I know that this horrifies our modern privacy taboos, but it is we who are strange in this, not the rest of history and the world.

The openness toward nudity and erotica in the ancient world was not considered “porn.”   Porn is a recent invention.  Porn could only exist after Puritanism had first created an attitude that the human body and human sex was sinful, lustful, and dirty.  That it must be hidden away from human eyes lest we lose control of ourselves and become animals.

There is a lot in the Bible about harlotry.  There is even a lot in the Bible about the clothing of harlots and their customers.

Isa 3:16 Moreover the LORD saith, Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, and walk with stretched forth necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, and making a tinkling with their feet:

Eze 23:15 Girded with girdles upon their loins, exceeding in dyed attire upon their heads, all of them princes to look to, after the manner of the Babylonians of Chaldea, the land of their nativity:

And so on.  But note that whenever the attire or clothing of a harlot are mentioned, it is about them putting ON clothes, not taking them off.  Even today street walkers put on fishnet hose, they don’t wear bikinis.

The reason that we have such a problem today with Christian men being “addicted to porn”  (a ridiculous phrase, by the way) is because we have repressed normal erotic desire.  As a result, the instinct bursts out in an unhealthy way.

God grant the church the wisdom to stop this crusade against nature and nature’s God and get back to preaching the Gospel and Biblical morality.

More discussion of Rick Warren’s wife’s confession

Several months ago, I linked to an article about Rick Warren’s wife’s confession that she had looked at porn.   I also commented upon the article at the Catholic site that wrote it.

I recently got this reply.

Your link refers to 1 Tim 4. However, 1 Tim 4 warns against those whose cheapen marriage, and that warning seems to me about you as well. Because pornography how it made, who makes it, and how its treats sex, in OUR CULTURE has no redeeming features. Therefore pornography in our culture must be rejected in every way.

Also in the same passages, Paul preaches for ‘purity’. It can only refer to sexual purity.

I also don’t see how Warren’s experience cheapens what you are trying to do. That is a straw man argument. I agree with you that erotica is a very good thing, but I also believe the teachings of the Catholic Church that masturbation is a sin– with the same questioning as Peter who asked. ‘then how can anyone be saved?’. When Paul refers to thanksgiving, he is referring the the Catholic view, he is not in any way supporting porn that was very prevalent in the Roman culture.

I agree that some of your reflections are warranted in that it reflect the view in Protestantism that regards sex as fundamentally dirty. This comes from Luther’s teaching that the physical world is fundamentally corrupted, versus the Cathol ic teaching that matter is good but our relationship to it is tarnished but re-storable, healed by santifying grace (also rejected by Luther).

My site is mainly about evangelical opposition to erotica.  As this writer makes clear, Catholicism teaches even against masturbation.  Now if a man can’t rub one out, then he obviously shouldn’t be looking at porn.  Masturbation and erotica are closely linked.  I talk about this here.

He has two points.

  1. Porn cheapens marriage because of the evilness of the porn industry

This is currently true.  The porn industry considers itself sinful and it treats women as objects to be used and discarded.  Even though at HolyErotica.com I attempt to only import high quality romantic couples erotica, I often link to videos produced by SinfulXXX and LustHD .   What is so strange about these videos is that they are not displaying things that are sinful or lustful.  A couple is perfectly can engage in perfectly holy sex without it being lust.  It is probably true that the couple portrayed are not married or even in a committed relationship, there is nothing about the act or the erotica, itself, that is sinful or lustful.

The problem is that Christians have, in recent decades, turned sex over to the sinners.  This is wrong.  Sex was created by God and is wonderful, holy, and lovely.    Naked women are beautiful and were created by God in his own image (not that God is a woman.  The explanation of this is left as an exercise for the reader).    Erotica should have been – as it was by Solomon and as the Renaissance artists  – done by and about Christians and holy people about holy sex and nudity.  See here, and here, and here.

I remember when I was taking my High School senior picture I saw in the artist’s studio a picture of a nude pregnant wife.  I was horrified and embarrassed.    How could a woman allow herself to be displayed to the public that way?   You see, I had been convinced that nudity was sinful.  I had fallen for the sinful pornographer’s trick.

There is a wonderful post about this by a catholic at patheos.com

2) Masturbation is a sin and so therefore porn is evil.

For a faithful Catholic, I suppose, this is an easy one.  The pope says masturbation is wrong.  We are done.  But, maybe it isn’t quite so simple.  It is, after all, only a venial sin.  A trip to confession and a few Hail Mary’s and all is well.

But for those of us who don’t have to take the Pope’s word for it, the subject isn’t that difficult.  Presumably the New Testament writers (who were all men) knew how to jerk it.    In all of their very specific lists of sins. (Adultery, fornication, lasciviousness…murder, drunkeness…)  they never seem to get around to “wanking.”

“Well they don’t mention smoking either.”  Really?  Is that your argument.  Smoking is new and the biblical authors had never heard of it, but I am confident that Cain and Able knew all about playing with their little peters.  The Bible has time to forbid sex with your aunt, with your cousin, with your step-mother, but never mentions sex with yourself.

Actually it does mention it.

Leviticus 15:16 And if any man’s seed of copulation go out from him, then he shall wash all his flesh in water, and be unclean until the even.
17 And every garment, and every skin, whereon is the seed of copulation, shall be washed with water, and be unclean until the even.
18 The woman also with whom man shall lie with seed of copulation, they shall both bathe themselves in water, and be unclean until the even.

In other words, sex with your wife and masturbation with yourself are mentioned in the same passage, and the same instruction is given for both circumstances.  Take a bath!

 

What are we afraid of?

Something has the church afraid of sex. What is it?

Remember all of those sermons you heard telling you what would happen if you broke the dress code, listened to “worldly” music, drank a beer or looked at “dirty pictures.”   Do you remember the examples.  The young man who ended up addicted to drugs and dying in a car accident.  James Dobson telling us of the story of the serial murderer, Ted Bundy, who was driven to murder by his “porn addiction.”

All of these stories are made up.  Ted Bundy was not driven to murder by porn, but rather by the severe abuse, physical and sexual, he was subjected to as a child.  Every woman who puts on a pair of pants does not end up dying in a car accident or (horror of horrors) having a black man’s baby (I’m not making this up, this is the most common example I was told as a young man).  Every teen who drinks a beer does not end up pushing crack cocaine.

The stories are not the source of the fear, but rather designed to mold fear that already exists.    I would like to find out where this doctrine of “modesty” originated.   It did not originate in the Bible.  The New Testament teaches “modesty” as a matter of ostentation, not as a matter of sex and nakedness.

Unquestionably, the New Testament is against sexual sin.  The first four works of the flesh are “Adultery, fornication, lasciviousness, uncleaness.”   But the ancient world was filled with nudity and depictions of sex and nakedness.  At no time does Paul or the other writers tell the new Christians to remove the naked Roman art from their houses or trash the Greek urns.

But as the dark ages came around, the men were fearful that the barbarians were going to come take their women.  So they started covering them up and hiding their beauty.  Note, that the middle ages had a lot of male nakedness.  This wasn’t a problem.  A swinging peter was normal, but a naked breast….. horrors.

Why?  I think it is because the women were property who had to be protected from theft.  They therefore had to be hidden and bound.

You see this in effect in the Muslim world today.  Go to the beaches of Dearborn, Michigan and see all of the Muslim men in shorts without a shirt, escorting their women who are covered head to toe.

The Christian churches began to turn this on its head a few years ago.  As the men were driven from the churches and the feminizers took over, they did not seek to free the women, but rather bind the men.   If you do a Google search on Christians and porn, you will see that it is the women who are declaring that the men are “addicted to porn” and using this as an excuse to divorce.

What are the women afraid of – that their husbands are going to see some cute young thing and dump them for a newer model?  It’s a strange fear, because a man who wishes to do this will do so whether you have a porn-filter on his computer or not.

A faithful man is faithful not because he is tied and bound, but because he loves his wife.  He finds himself unable and unwilling to imagine a life without her.  They have developed an intimacy that goes beyond sex, but is nevertheless fed by regular maintenance sex.   If a wife really wants to keep her man, she will keep him horny and humping.    One of the tools that she has in her bag is to show him images of nubile young women and then, when he is good and hard, drain his balls.    His connection with his wife (which goes beyond mere sex) is strengthened and he will appreciate her for giving him freedom and trusting that he loves her.

The women who try to hold onto their men by restricting him are like the child who holds his puppy really, really, tight to keep him from running away.

The puppy would rather stay near his master and love him with freedom.    But will struggle for freedom, nevertheless.  Men, like the puppy, resent the restriction and struggle to be free.

Women, give your husband the freedom that he deserves and you will have him forever.

Pastor questions his porn legalism and then stops thinking

James Emory White is a pastor in Charlottesville NC.  He writes an article asking “Is Pornography Really Wrong?”  I thought, wow, this is amazing, a pastor who actually asks the question.

Sadly, it’s only pretend.  The question was only asked as a trick to get people to read the same disproved points that the legalists have been trying to push for years.

  1. It is lust — Not it isn’t.  No Jesus did not tell you that you couldn’t look at anything that turned you on.  He told you not to LUST.  Lust is desire out of control.  If you don’t make plans, or wish you could get into a woman’s pants, you haven’t lusted.  Admiring her body is not lust
  2. It is addictive — No it isn’t.  The American Psychiatric Association has spoken on this repeatedly.  But this isn’t the pastor’s real problem.  If he really thought that ANY thing that was addictive was sinful, then he would be railing against processed sugar and caffeine.  To substances that don’t cause any problems in people’s lives but are, unquestionably, addictive
  3. It is degrading to women — Not all of it is.  If this is his problem, then he ought to be directing his men to HolyErotica.com  because it doesn’t have degrading porn.
  4. “Studies show” It leads to other sins (specifically rape) —   Absolute and total nonsense.  There is no study that shows such a thing.  He doesn’t bother to actually link to any of these “studies”
  5. It harms your relationship with your spouse —- According to him, Porn causes you to stop have sex with your wife.   This is nonsense, and many, many studies have proven this repeatedly.  For example, read this post.
  6. It desensitizes your soul —- or, makes God pull away from you because you are sinning.  This is called “Begging the Question”  or “Presuming the consequent”  He presumes porn is wrong and then uses that presumption to claim that God will be displeased, therefore porn must be wrong.  Erotica is wrong because he presumes it is wrong.
  7. It reduces sex to lust — This is the most annoying point of all.  He acts like erotic desire is lust.  This is falling for the lie of the world.  Lust and erotic desire are not related.  If I desire my wife I do not LUST for her.  This is the old dualistic “spirit” and “body” heresy.  He would recognize that as a heresy if he read it in any other context.

This pastor has the same objectivity when talking about erotica as CNN has about President Trump.

Why don’t we tell sex addicts to quit sex

Porn is not an addiction
Is the real purpose of the anti-porn crusaders anti-sex?

Sex and porn are not addictions because the treatment for “Sex Addiction” is not to quit sex.

There are two main reasons for people to call people’s sexual behavior an “addiction”.  The first one is to excuse their own behavior.  An example of this is this week’s Harvey Weinstein scandal.  A man caught in predatory behavior declares that he is now seeking treatment for “sex addiction.”

But it is not just the predators of the world who are pushing this agenda.  Most of it is by confused Christian leaders.  I think that the reason they are pushing it is because they feel guilty about their erotic desire and are trying to subsume their desire in fighting against other people having sex.   As I remember someone saying years ago (I don’t remember who) “Democrats view porn after they go to the store and buy it.  Republican view it together in anti-porn group meetings.”

There are addictions in the world.  Alcoholism, opoids, etc.  I am a doctor and I drink alcohol.  I have no problem with occasional moderate use.  But when I have a patient who is an alcoholic I tell them that they have to quit drinking.  I have occasionally, in order to get free parking downtown, gambled enough to get a card at the casino’s.  But I tell gambling addicts that they must not go near the place on any condition.

But there are several behaviors that are often over indulged in that are not addictions.  Overeating is not an addiction. Sleep is not an addiction.  Running is not an addiction.  Work is not an addiction.  Vacation is not an addiction.  The cure is not to stop eating, stop sleeping, stop exercising, stop working or never go on vacation.

But the hidden agenda of the anti-porn people is, let’s face it, to stop having sex.   Do an image search on Google for “quit sex” and this is what you get.

 

Image result for "quit sex"

And dozen’s more like it.

Oh yes, they tell you that sex is supposed to be holy in marriage, but if you read deeper, almost all of these people start making even more rules.  You will find that they often end up in marriages with no sex at all.  You will find that they are usually divorced.

Give up your own ways and start doing things God’s way.  Rejoice in your sexuality.  Watch some beautiful girls screw around, jack off with joy and let your spiritual energies be used in helping others.

The only way to quit watching porn

operant conditioning and pornography
If you must quit porn, use this method

There is a way to help men stop viewing porn – at least as much or as often.  If a man must, by his convinced religious beliefs, forbid himself this behavior, then he ought to be helped to do so in the most healthy way possible.

As you know if you read this site,  I don’t believe that Christians should be forced to quit viewing porn.  I believe that the healthy male life includes erotica.   However, there is a set of Christians who will never be able to believe this.  These men will continue to suffer the guilt and self-destruction from indulging in this natural behavior.   These men have been led astray into unhealthy ways of trying to quit.  Firstly, the “Cognitive Behavior Therapy” method doesn’t work.  That is like treating a stomach ulcer with NSAIDS for a headache.  It just makes the situation worse.

So, for these men, I say this.  Stop trying to treat a sex “addiction.”  You are not addicted.  There are many sinful or undesirable behaviors that are not addictions.  These are behaviors that are normal, correct, and desirable but are often performed in ways or at times that are sinful or unhealthy.

A great example is food.  if we desire food we are not necessarily a glutton.  Yet we have all seen people whose eating is harmful to themselves and others.  Eating, working, exercising, giving, praying/meditating, rejoicing, relaxing, and playing are all behaviors that are desirable and needful in moderation.  If we find any person who doesn’t perform these behaviors at all, they are unhealthy.  But a workaholic, anorexic, sloth, or excessive jokester also have a pathology in need of treatment.
Similarly, sex is not an addiction, but rather a desirable behavior that must be performed in moderation.  An ascetic man who defrauds his wife is no more holy than a man who defrauds her by giving himself to porn rather than her.
Addiction is treated by cognitive behavior therapy and by 12 step programs – by sponsors and “accountability partners” – by helping the person to be mindful of their desires and redirecting himself to other desires – by getting them to avoid their triggers.  But this doesn’t work in any normal behavior.    We do not help dieters by cognitive behavior therapy or 12 step programs.    We teach them to use behavioral conditioning.
Conditioning is illustrated by the famous “Pavlov’s dog” example.  Pavlov rang a bell and fed his dogs, eventually the dogs slobbered whenever they heard a bell.  This is called classical conditioning.  We later came up with the concept of “operant conditioning” in which a stimulus is associated with a behavior and a reward or punishment    For example, to get people to put on a seat belt we supply a noxious stimulus – a beep – that will not stop until the behavior (seat belt clicked) is performed.  This is “negative reinforcement” = the removal of a noxious stimulus.
The removal of the association of a stimulus with a behavior is called extinction.  This is what some pastors want to accomplish in their porn-viewing men.  The association of the normal stimulus (erotic desire) with the undesireable behavior (porn viewing) is extinguished.
There are many interesting methods to do this – google “operant conditioning” and “extinguish” and you will find many useful ideas.  But one rule I want to specifically mention.
—— Associations are weakened when the stimulus occurs in the absence of the behavior —-
In other words, the more often a man has an orgasm in the absence of porn use the weaker his impulse to view porn will be.    Similarly, the more often he wakes up in the morning with a nocturnal erection (morning wood) and does not have sex with his wife, the less often he will desire to have sex with his wife.
This fits with how Paul said to “avoid fornication”  in I Corinthian’s 7.  “every man have his own wife”, “better to marry than burn” and “defraud ye not one another.”
So, if a man is having a problem with porn, the answer is NOT accountability partners, but rather more sex.  Instead of using porn till he doesn’t want his wife.   His wife should rather keep his balls so drained that he doesn’t have anything left for porn.

Sex, Porn and the “Desensitization” argument

Sex gets better, not boring as the years go by
The brain becoming sensitized – not desensitized – to sex

According to “Dr.” James Dobson (he is not a physician or a psychiatrist folks!) he found out from the psychopath Ted Bundy that porn use accelerates.  You start with Playboy and end up having to have cannibalistic sex.

But those of us who have been married for any number of years know that sex doesn’t work this way.

Ok, Adults, admit it.  Your first experience at sex was pretty disappointing.  You thought, “This is it?   This is all?  This is what everyone is talking about?”

It takes a while to really enjoy it.  To get over the self-consciousness to give yourself to the moment.  And frankly, to really give in to the pure fun of it.

That’s because the brain has not yet “potentiated” the pleasure.  The paths are tentative and not well formed.  The electrical signals are spread out all over the striatum and not concentrated in the dopamine/pleasure circuits in the nucleus accumbens.

Those of us who have been married for many years know that sex gets better and “sweeter as the years go by…..”.    After many years one doesn’t “need” sex as often or as much, but when you do get a “round tuit” well, I’ll stop describing now.

This is exactly the opposite way that an addiction works.   CS Lewis’s devil in the Screwtape Letters described the perfect Satanic addiction.

Never forget that when we are dealing with any pleasure in its healthy and normal and satisfying form, we are, in a sense, on the Enemy’s ground. I know we have won many a soul through pleasure. All the same, it is His invention, not ours. He made the pleasures: all our research so far has not enabled us to produce one. All we can do is to encourage the humans to take the pleasures which our Enemy has produced, at at times, or in ways, or in degrees, which He has forbidden. . . . An ever increasing craving for an ever diminishing pleasure is the formula. . . . To get a man’s soul and give him nothing in return–that’s what really gladdens Our Father’s heart.

And porn works the same way.  The first time a boy finds a dirty magazine in a shed or under his daddy’s mattress he is fascinated and yet confused.  It is only after seeing it many times that he can really get a good jerkoff session going.

In fact, sexual dysfunction is marked not by to MUCH sex, but by to LITTLE.  We treat sexual dysfuction by desensitizing the patient not to sex, but to the ANXIETY of sex.

For example, read this 1969 article arguing that the treatment for homosexuality (yes, they used to do that) was to DESENSITIZE the patient to heterosexual sex.

Pastors against porn should not use the “Addiction” argument

Why treat porn addiction won't work.
Wrong Diagnosis – Wrong Treatment

So I was talking to a pastor recently who was looking for ways to help men overcome their porn habit.  Since I am a psychiatrist, he was asking me about the parts of the brain that were involved in reward.

I know why he was asking.  He had been exposed to Gary Wilson’s “Your Brain on Porn” and wanted to preach a sermon to men about how viewing porn was just like using crack cocaine.

It isn’t.  Here is what I explained to the pastor.  If you approach porn as an addiction then you will try to “cure” it using the anti-addiction methodology that we use for cocaine, meth, gambling, and heroin addicts.  But this is like treating gall stones with lung cancer medicine.  It won’t accomplish your goal and it will just make things worse.

For example.  One of the first anti-addiction drugs of choice that we use is Wellbutrin.  Wellbutrin reduces addiction cravings.  I have given it to alcoholics, smokers, and today I thought about prescribing it to a crack cocaine addict.

But Wellbutrin does not lower sexual desire at all.  In fact, when we have a patient whose use of Paxil/Lexapro/Celexa/Zoloft is reducing libido, we switch them to Wellbutrin.   If porn/sex was really an addiction, the Wellbutrin would reduce desire, not increase it.

So, if a Christian pastor wants to help their disciples to stop viewing porn, they should approach it from a different standpoint than addiction.  They should treat it as an sinful – but natural- behavior like fornication or adultery.

Evangelicals need to “Take the Red Pill” about erotic desire

Take the red pill
Admit Reality – Holy Men Like Sex

Fox news has noted a phenomenon of liberals who have “Taken the Red Pill” and given up on the fantasy world of liberalism.

I propose that there is another group of people living in the Matrix. Evangelicals who pretend that the normal erotic desire than men have had since Adam first spotted Even without her fig leaf.   By pretending that there is such a thing as a Christian man who does not “lust” they live in a world in which the Bible has no relevance to the lives of the saints.

This is why the church men’s groups are all about “overcoming porn addictions” and “controlling sexual desires.”  They are living in a fantasy world where a normal red-blooded man can have the brain of a woman.  By demanding this, they are creating a church of firstly, few men, and secondly, hypocritical men.  Men who are pretending that they aren’t “addicted” to sex.

Every time I see a youtube video of some preacher proclaiming how wrong it is to look at naked women, I reply “You are lying, you know and I know and every man knows that you watched porn THIS WEEK. Stop trying to lie to youself, us, and God.  None of us are fooled.”

If we would admit this simple fact to ourselves, then we could read the Bible for what it actually says instead of what our Mama’s interpreted it to mean.  Men are supposed to be sexual creatures.   Like David we are supposed to enjoy the sight Bathsheba’s bathing beauty.  But we are supposed to be men enough to direct that desire into Godly channels.

If we would fight the battle at the fortress of God’s commands, instead of man’s traditions, we might find that we would

Take the red pill.

How often should christian boys masturbate?

Masturbation frequency
Should you limit your right arm exercise?

Ok, I will confess up front.  I’m actually discussing whether porn is addictive, but I am coming about it the long way.

Dr. David Ley, a clinical psychologist, recently treated a young christian man of 18 who was “addicted to masturbation.”   He masturbated once a week.

(I wonder if he ever splurged and did it twice?)

I had hoped that the Christian world has gotten past the churches trying to destroy their young men this way, but I’m afraid not.  I know that in my day the church made us feel terrible.  I know of one young man in the late ’70’s who would come home to his parents after making out with his girlfriend on her front porch (a girl he married the next year – the baby was born 8 months later).  He would have them get up and pray with him to overcome temptation.  He was being tempted to relieve his blue balls using “Mother Thumb and her 4 sisters.”

No one thought to complement this virtuous young man on his restraint.  No one told him to possibly relieve some of his tension and maybe help him limit his explorations with his girl.   No, his parents continued to instruct him to “overcome his flesh.”  The resulting baby was very beautiful and has grown into a very wonderful and Godly young man.

 

Few churches teach against masturbation anymore.  But I have a question. What is the upper limit for “holy” masturbation in a day?  Is there a limit?  Once a week?  Twice a week?  Once a day?  Can he splurge and go twice  Ok, you don’t want to put a number on it, but let’s see how many times you think is unreasonable.  Three times a day?  Four?  Five?

I am a psychiatrist.  I have treated manic people who were hypersexual.  They masturbated until they raised blisters on their penis.

But my point still holds even for them.  There is a biological limit on how much a person can masturbate.  After a while it just ain’t no more fun.  You can “edge” as long as you want but eventually you are going to bust a nut.  And there is just so many times you can do that till it gets boring.  Ok, so let’s admit that some men can spend a whole day thinking about sex and playing with themselves.  Can they spend EVERY day this way?

No they can’t.  This isn’t “Call of Duty”  Eventually it just gets boring.

MASTURBATION IS NOT  AND ADDICTION BECAUSE IT DOESN’T INCREASE

One of the most important parts of “Addiction” is tolerance.  Yesterday 4 norcos made you feel good.  Today you need 6.  Tomorrow you want 8.  Eventually you need so many to feel good that you take enough to stop your breathing and you die.

But masturbation isn’t like that.  The first squirt of the young man’s week produces a quarter cup.  The next a table spoon.  After while a few drops come out and the resulting orgasm is merely “ok”.   In order to get that first body-shaking seizure-inducing feeling again he is going to have to

Wait!

So masturbation is not addictive.  The sad young man above who believed he was “addicted” to masturbation had simply not choked the chicken to death.

Let’s talk about masturbation some more (please!)

Today, of course, most churches know that masturbation is a normal and healthy part of growing up.  Even Focus on the Family has waved the white flag on this issue.  But for some reason they still want their young men to carry a load of guilt.  James Dobson instructs boys that they can jerk it as long as they don’t “lust” at the same time.  In other words, it should be a purely physical act – kind of like scratching an itch.  No imagination of females should play on the back of closed eyelids.

Amazingly, he is supposed to instantly change his attitude on the night of his marriage.  Suddenly, sex must not be merely scratching an itch, but must be rather be a holy act that is almost entirely about the female.

But let’s be real.  No boy jacks off without imagination.  (If a female reading this thinks that this is not true, ask a man).  So all boys imagine sex while doing “hand to gland combat.”

And – let’s be even more real – today those boys are not simply imagining it on the back of their eyelids.  They are watching porn.

Now let me ask you.  Do they watch porn and NOT jerkoff?

No they do not.  Watching porn and jacking off for the male species is synonymous.    Watching porn without jacking the beanstalk is boooooooring.

So, I ask you.  How much porn can a young man watch?

Do I need to go through this again?  Obviously porn – like masturbation – is self-limiting.  The more you see the less you need to see.    You need a “cooling off period” (or maybe that is a “storing some up” period) before you want to do it again.

Now, some of you may be saying – what about James Dobson’s interview with Ted Bundy the serial killer?  Bundy told Dobson that regular porn got boring so he had to watch more perverted porn, then more perverted until eventually he had to sexually slaughter people in order to feel good.

Ted Bundy was a sociopath who was conning a gullible mark in order to possible get a pardon from President George HW Bush.   This was nonsense.  He was not led to mass murder by porn.  Sociopaths are created at a very young age – usually by extreme neglect and abuse.   Certainly this was true of Bundy’s childhood.

Ask yourself – those of you who have watched porn (that would be EVERY ONE OF YOU MEN)  Did you really find it so boring that you had to watch bestiality in order to shoot your wad?   When you did see the extreme stuff did it really turn you on or did it repel you.  Come on, be honest.

The “escalating nature of porn” is a stupid myth.  No one ever experienced it himself, he just projected his fears onto other men.

Let me (finally) make my point.

Porn is not an addiction because it does not meet the minimum requirement of addiction – an increasing need with decreasing reward.

New Study: Preaching against Porn “Addiction” makes it WORSE not better

Preaching against porn
Feel Bad About Yourself – That is true holiness

Preachers do their people no favors by preaching against pornography.   A new peer reviewed study published in “Addiction” magazine shows that men who have been taught that pornography perceive themselves to be addicted even when they are not.   This perception continues to dog them and cause problems in their lives.  So their lives are made worse – not by their viewing pornography – but rather because they have been taught that what they are doing is wrong.

Not surprisingly, this terrible feeling of guilt that the church has imposed on these men does not help them “overcome” their addiction.   Nor does 12-step programs or any of the other “addiction” treatments.  The reason that none of these programs or treatments work is because THEY ARE NOT ADDICTED.  Treating men’s fullfillment of their normal erotic desires as an addiction is like treating an overweight person for diabetes.  He doesn’t lose any weight, but he can die from your treatment.

In this study, they studied people who had viewed porn in the past six months.   They asked the subjects how much porn they viewed, about their religious views, whether they felt like porn was a sin, and whether they felt like they were addicted to porn.   Not surprisingly, the religious people who believed that porn was sinful also believed that they were addicted.  The subjects who didn’t think it was sinful didn’t believe that they were addicted.   By the normal standards of “addiction” (significantly negatively influenced their lives) the unreligious people didn’t display any problems in their lives.

Then six months later they asked the same people about their porn habits and about their feelings of addiction.   The religious people were WORSE not better.  They perceived themselves to be addicted at a far higher level than the non-religious ones.

In short, preaching against men looking at erotic images does not help them.  It makes them feel worse about their lives while not giving them any help to “overcome”    The reason it doesn’t help them overcome is because it is

 

Why Christians should be for “Toxic Masculinity” and porn

The essence of being a man includes rescuing women and children in a flood, it includes hunting and fishing, backpacking, and, yes, watching porn.  Hurricane Harvey this week has shown us that the manly virtues are not things that can be quickly thrown away.

Yes, I know that the feminizing movement is active in the church.  It wants to redefine manliness to be estrogen-laden males.  it wants us to vacuum the floor and to communicate fully our inner lives.  But when we need real men, it is not these beta-males who show up.

When the feminizing movement showed up in the church, it did not directly attack courage, instead it told boys that they shouldn’t fight back – even if attacked or defending a weaker person.   It didn’t directly attack hunting or fishing, instead it told husbands that they ought to “spend more time with their family.”  But men have been spending time with their boys for many centuries – by hunting and fishing.  It didn’t tell men to stop having sex with their wives, it just attacked their erotic desires – called it lust – and tried to convince men that the only Godly sexual desire involved candlelit dinners and long walks in the twilight.

But Godly sexual desire also includes pure physical desire, pure desire to grab their wives sexual parts and go to slurping and humping.  There is nothing, absolutely nothing, ungodly about this.

Yes, there is also a place for romantic, sweet, and tender lovemaking.  But there is nothing inherently more Godly and holy about tender and sweet versus hot and fervent.  I dare you to find any scripture that even hints differently.

Christian men should be encouraged to be manly.  To want sex – early, late, and often.  The best way to encourage this is by depicting sex to them and not placing a guilt-trip on them for liking it.

Why Christian Men Aren’t Getting Married

This man is not welcome in the church

Great article at fox news.  Hat tip Instapundit.

Firstly, Christian men aren’t getting married because there are so few single Christian men.

When is the last time you saw a Christian single man at church?  Was he available?  Of course not.  He was grabbed up.  There are few single men at the church because the church makes no attempt to reach them.  Oh yes, the women are trying to reach them and bring them to church with them.  But the men don’t show up, and are not being sought, by the church.  When the grace of God reaches down and touches a young man, and he shows up to church, then the feminized church will drive him away.   Masculinity, sweat, hunting, fishing, competing, are all treated as a vaguely distasteful necessity of having men at the church.  But the “real” Christian men will be feminized.  They will have great “listening” skills and their gestures will be comfortably familiar to females.  When the church later discovers that they are homosexual, they will be shocked.

The only “men’s” program at the church is the program for families.  The singles groups are full of women and the lessons are all about dieting, diabetes education, communication, and recovery from “emotional abuse” of their ex-boyfriends and husbands.

If a man is a real man, if he likes beer and naked women.  If he has a beard and a likes to look at women’s boobs, then he will be shunted to a Promise Keeper’s group to be properly educated out of his gender.

And, God help us, if these men like sex, if they like to look at naked women, if they go online to look at pornography and erotica, then they must be disciplined, they must be discipled, the must be cured of their “Porn Addiction”

Are you surprised that masculine men don’t want anything to do with Christ?

And it is a shame, because Jesus and his disciples were men’s men.  They could stand up in front of the Sanhedrin and tell them that they would obey God rather than men.  They could work all night, naked, on a boat in the middle of the sea of Galilee, even if they caught nothing.

Christian men aren’t getting married because the church has decided it doesn’t want Christian single men, it just wants properly schooled girly-men.

Science “falsely so called”. Christian PseudoScientists against porn

Don’t use Science to promote your presupposition

1Ti 6:20 O Timothy, keep that which is committed to thy trust, avoiding profane and vain babblings, and oppositions of science falsely so called:

One of the most frustrating things to watch is the Christian PseudoScientists pretend that science backs their anti-porn crusade.  You can see this in the fake scientist Gary Wilson‘s “Your Brain On Porn” nonsense.  The studies directly contradict him.  But he doesn’t care, because the people who are listening to him don’t care. He is making money off of their gullibility.  They have a religious tradition opinion and they will jump on any “science” that supports their tradition.  They don’t actually read the details because it doesn’t matter.  Instead they will jump up in church and proclaim – “Even Science will tell you that porn changes your brain.”

There have been many pseudoscience advocates in our lifetime.  We have the anti-vaccination people, the laetrile advocates, the “pure” high pH water people, the “paleo-diet” people, etc.  All of these people have one thing in common, THEY DON’T ACTUALLY DO RESEARCH.

Research is very hard.  It is very strict.  As a psychiatrist, I am required to produce one research project in the next 3 years.  This is very difficult to do.  I have to become a true expert on the question that I am asking.  I have to then formulate the question correctly.  Then I have to decide what data that I need to answer the question.  Then I have to discover the source of the data.  I have to then gather the data and compile it into understandable form.  I have to find the answer to the question that I asked – which may not be the answer I expected.  I have to find the weaknesses of methodology.  Finally I have to write and publish the paper resulting from all of this.

This is all hard work.  It would be a lot easier to simply do a google search and then selectively quote from studies that OTHER people have done.  I can misquote them, take their work out of context, apply it incorrectly, and then proclaim my pre-determined opinion.  This is what all of these “Your Brain On Porn” people have done.  If you don’t believe me, do this experiment.  Go to “PubMed.Com” where all of the medical studies are published and look for an author “Gary Wilson”  It isn’t there.  Look for anyone else in the Porn Addiction advocate crowd.  None of them are there either.

This is “Science Falsely So Called”

Forbidding to marry and commanding to abstain from meats

Abstention is not holy
Asceticism is not holiness

I Tim 4:1-5 Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth. For every creature of God is good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving:  For it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer.

One of the most common methods of false holiness is asceticism, the attempt to look more holy than others by denying normal and Godly desire.

The medieval Catholics practiced this by forbidding their priests to marry and stopped them from eating meat on Friday and during Lent.   This allowed them to feel holy even while their were slaughtering babies, stealing from their neighbors, keeping mistresses, etc.

So also, today, our modern church movement has decided that it has to make up some new rules to make them feel holy.  Now, note, one of the most common sins in the pew today is probably fornication.  Unmarried couples are openly shacked up together.  Dating couples are assumed to be sleeping together.  Yet, the church ignores these sins and instead preaches against the boyfriend’s “addiction” to porn.

Turning to fake science, they believe that the man’s sleeping with his girlfriend doesn’t harm his brain, but somehow looking at erotica will.  Even though, the Bible clearly forbids the first and promotes the second.

This is not a new phenomenon.  Paul said that in the latter times people would depart from the faith and instead preach other doctrines – doctrines of devils.    Just because it is “forbidding” does not make it holy.  God is not a God of forbidding, but a God of pleasure.  When we take pleasure in the proper place (in our marriages, and in imaginations about marriages) then life is holy and pure.   When we add in our own commands – morphing the gospel into legalism and pharisaism – then we live lives of bondage and guilt.

So rejoice with the wife of thy youth.  Let your fountain be blessed as your watch erotica.  Enjoy the pleasures that God gave you and tell the legalists to go read their bible more and preach a false chastity less.

#Pornography is not #Addiction according to the American Psychological Association

Moralists want to claim science to attack porn, but that is not what the scientists say.

Look, if you want to make a biblical or religious argument against porn, by all means do so.  I encourage you to comment and we will discuss it.   But if you want to make a scientific argument, you ought to at least look at the science, and it does not say what the new pharisees are proclaiming.

The feminized “supporting” church repels men

Masculine Christianity
Jesus was manly

Brilliant historically researched article at the The Art of Manliness.

The article explains why men have left the church.  I would add that it was after men were driven from the church that proper masculine erotic desire was demonized.   Now today the “supporting” church wants to draw men in and cure them of their porn “addiction”

If the church had kept it’s proper masculinity, this would have been laughed out of the pulpit in the first week.

I’m a christian who watches porn – as God intended

Christian Men watching porn
All men – especially Christian men – watch porn. There is nothing wrong with that

So you’re a sincere Christian man and you have looked at porn your entire life.  You feel terribly guilty about this.  Your prayers are hindered as a result.  All of the “Men’s retreats” at your church concentrate on one subject and one subject only  – “Pornography Addiction”.   You have tried giving it up multiple times.  You confessed to your pastor and got an “accountability partner.”  After the first couple of times you stopped telling him how you have “fallen” again.  Maybe you even lost him as a friend as a result.

You feel all alone, because your church has placed you on a merry-go-round of eternal guilt.  After decades of trying to beat your “porn addiction” you sense that you will always watch it.  Maybe you even dropped out of church, since you knew that you must not be a Christian.  Christians should be able to overcome at least one addiction!

You have fallen prey to the modern Pharisees. You have been duped into a falsehood.  There is no command in the Bible telling you to avoid erotic stories or images.  In fact, the opposite is true.  The Bible is full of erotica.  It describes and treats masturbation just like it treats sex, pregnancy, and menstruation – as normal parts of a holy life.   The command to avoid pornography is man’s tradition, not God’s command and certainly not Bible.

Here are the links proving that you are a good Christian with whom God is well-pleased.

It is NOT Lust

It is NOT Addiction

It is Healthy

The Taboo on Porn is Man’s Tradition

God wrote Porn

Continue to be a Man

Jerk off with Joy

Here is a website with only Holy Porn for your enjoyment

Things Most Surely Believed

Hot girl believes in Jesus
Christians believe in Jesus

Lu 1:1 Forasmuch as many have taken in hand to set forth in order a declaration of those things which are most surely believed among us,

To listen to the sermons and read the web pages of the modern evangelical church, you would think that the principles of the gospel are freedom from “addictions” and helping people overcome their “hurts”.

Not long ago I passed a small church with a sign out front that said, “We help hurt people.”   I thought, yeah, you probably do.  People come to you for help and you help to hurt them.

I once attended a church in the Texas panhandle who thought that the principles of the gospel were to keep the women in “modest” apparel – long baggy dresses with long sleeves.  To keep their hair long and uncut.  To keep them from wearing jewelry which might gain attention.  In short, to keep women as uglified as possible in order to keep the men of the church from lusting after them.

This worked as well as you might imagine.  The pastor snuck off to Lubbock to look at porn and purchase prostitutes.  He slavered after the young wives of the church, committed adultery with them, and broke up their marriages.  He felt guilty about these things, of course.  He went to other pastors in towns to confess his sins in order to attempt to use “accountability” to recover from his “addiction.”  It didn’t work.  – Of course, it didn’t work.   Making up your own gospel never does.

The principles of the gospel – those things “most surely believed” are not the things MOST IMPORTANT TO US.  Just because we have been raised in the prudish Victorian principles of anti-erotica, and just because our God-given biology forces us to behave in opposition to these unscriptural principles, does not mean that these are the things MOST IMPORTANT TO GOD.

God cares about the gospel.  Jesus came to tell us God’s word.  He didn’t come to back up the Pharisees in their traditions.  The Gospel of Jesus is about dying for our sins, being resurrected for our regeneration, promising us that he will return for our hope of the resurrection.  The sins that he wishes to deliver us from are Adultery, Fornication, Hatred, Murder, Rioting, Drunkeness (Galations 5:19-20) not “addictions.”  He came to give us the source of the fruits of the Spirit – Love, Joy, Peace, etc.  We help people overcome their addictions (the true addictions, I mean) because they prevent the fruits of the spirit from being expressed in their lives.  But the centrality of the Gospel is not MEN but GOD.  It is about Jesus and our relationship to him.

The Church must return to preaching the gospel instead of being a self-help group guided only by Pop Psychology that has no source in either the gospel or science.

Erotica – or what today we inaccurately call porn – is, as God showed us in the Song of Solomon, part of a healthy lifestyle.   If we are guided by Scripture, the we would be promoting Holy Erotica (as I do in my website HolyErotica.com)

Today’s church is being seduced, like the foolish Galations so long ago, into believing a gospel of works.  That living a Christian life means living and talking about Jesus, not running around talking about the most current fad to preach against.

Christians are not addicted to porn

Using science to support a religious position
No, Christians are not “Addicted” to porn

Every temptation is not an addiction.  Addiction is a medical term, not a spiritual one.  As the churches have stopped preaching the gospel of Jesus, they have begun preaching a secular “health” gospel.  But while surrendering the authority of the Bible and Christ, they are attempting to argue for the same traditions that held over from more religiously oriented times.

Therefore, while no longer preaching against “lust” they wish to preach against “sex addiction.”

The problem is that medicine is a very poor substitute for God.  This article fairly represents how the “porn addiction” nonsense started and why it is not science.  If you want to argue against pornography based upon scripture – great – let’s have that discussion.  I admit that you have at least a few strong points to make.  But if you want to attempt to use MEDICINE then you have nothing of interest to say.

Firstly, the porn addiction advocates have nothing interesting to say because they are not physicians.  None of them have any degree higher than a bachelor of arts – except for the occasional, Doctor of Divinity.  They don’t do original research, they don’t know how to conduct a clinical study.  They don’t know the difference between cohort studies, cross-sectional studies, longitudinal studies, clinical trials, etc.  They can’t separate between correlation and causation.  They don’t know a category I statistical error from a p-square analysis.   They just go searching through google (not google scholar) for any article that supports their pre-determined view.

This is called “confirmation bias” and no one who is participating in it should be allowed to treat anyone.

Secondly the porn addiction advocates have nothing interesting to say because they are arguing dishonestly.  If you have a moral or religious position, then that is fine – I have several items that I believe on faith myself.  For example, I believe that Jesus was born of a virgin.  But it would be insane for me to start trying to prove parthenogenesis (scientific virgin birth) is possible in human beings.   It is not.   The virgin birth is a miracle, it is not subject to the reasoning of science.

The religious argument against porn is based, I believe, on tradition.  A tradition that is very old and has gained ascendancy in the evangelical church for the past couple of centuries.  Tradition is not unimportant in religious and moral arguments.  Tradition does not always arise by accident and usually has or had a good reason for it in the past.    But don’t try to defend it by bringing in poorly understood subjects in science.  You simply make yourself foolish.

Finally, the porn addiction advocates have nothing interesting to say because the science doesn’t support their position.  Addiction is a very specific thing.  At its most basic, it always includes progressive tolerance and pathological effect.

Progressive tolerance is the need for greater amounts of the drug in order to gain the same effect.   At first 2 beers could get me buzzed, but now I need 10.  But porn only has this effect in the short term.  Once the participant has masturbated, it requires more arousal for him to reach climax.   But porn does not have this effect over the long term.  In fact, the exact opposite happens.  The porn viewer becomes more sensitive to porn as he watches more.

In an addiction, the sufferer needs more and more of the substance and enjoys it less and less.  This does not happen in porn and sex.  When a virgin couple first get married, their sexual unions are awkward and not terribly enjoyable.  Only after practice and frequency do they find greater and greater fulfillment.  All of sex works this way.  Including porn.

The stories of men who started with playboy and ended with torture porn are nonsense.  This fairy tale was made up by mass murderer Ted Bundy in an interview with “Dr.” James Dobson.  Bundy was trying to find a way to get out of the death penalty.  Unsurprisingly, Dobson fell for it and began a movement to get Bundy off.  Dobson has a long history of being a good patsy for anyone with a good story.

As any regular viewer of porn will tell you.  We do seek higher quality porn, but not more perverse.  If porn had to get more perverse in order to be enjoyable, then I should be pretty deep in the mud by now, since I looked at my first playboy at age 11.  But, in fact, I don’t like perverse porn.  I like a nice high quality video or a couple who show love for one another.

One might argue that my desire for “higher quality” is an increasing tolerance, but this is like saying that enjoying steak is an addiction because one looks for a better restaurant as we grow older.

Secondly, an addiction requires pathological effect.  It must hurt the participant.  This is why tobacco is an addiction, but caffeine is simply a habit.  Porn has not been shown to increase pathological behavior.  In fact, the opposite is true.  Sex crimes go down when porn becomes more available.  Single men seek out fewer illicit liaisons and seek a higher quality of relationship in the women that they court.

If you reply that porn is pathological because it causes problems between couples in which the wife has been indoctrinated with an anti-porn belief, then I am going to tell you that meat is an addiction because you upset vegans by consuming it.

 

How a doctor thinks

Drunk looking where the light is better
Looking under the street lamp

This Doctor knows how to actually help his patients.

To many Christian counselors (who rarely bother to actually go get some training) are like the drunk looking for a quarter under the streetlamp.  They know only one “fact” (an untruth) that this man’s “sin” is addiction.  They don’t bother to find out what is going on in his marriage.

Yes, he doesn’t want sex with his wife because he is jacking off so much, but the question isn’t why he likes porn more than his wife, but what is his problem with his wife.  Anyone can hold off porn for 2 days until he is randy and ready for sex with his wife.  He is not willing to do so.  Why?  This is a problem that should be addressed with his doctor.

People don’t realize that we doctors spent over a decade in training for a reason – if everything could be solved by a google search we would all be nurse practitioners.