Why Christian Erotica is about holiness and not fornication

The purpose of Christian Erotica is to increase Christian Marital Sex and Intimacy

I was recently contacted by a young man who wanted me to help him find a way to have internet sex with women.  He didn’t want to find a girlfriend and he wasn’t searching for a wife, he just wanted to have meaningless and faceless sex.

I didn’t help him.  Because that is not what this site and it’s companion site HolyErotica.com is about.

I maintain these sites (even though I make no money and actually spend money on them) because I believe in Christian marriage, Christian sex, and  Christian intimacy.

Like all men, I dreamed of sex from a very young age.  I asked God to please not return in the rapture before I could have sex.  I was a virgin horn dog.  But I didn’t get to kiss a girl until well after high school.   The girls probably sensed the hormones coming off of me and ran for their lives.

Because I needed sex so much, I sought desperately for a wife.  I found a great one.    It turns out that she was just as much of a horny virgin as I was.   Otherwise she would never have married a broke college student.

You see, marriage is almost never a practical idea, just a good one.    The reason that we got married is because that was the only holy way to get lots and lots of sex.

And it did us well.  Marriage is never practical but it is very good for people.  It is not practical for a man to have to work long hours because he has responsibilities, but “it is not good for a man to dwell alone.”   It is not practical to have a baby with his wife, but it is good for him, his wife, and their child.

The purpose of Holy Erotica is not to provide an alternative to seeking a wife or to having sex with your wife.  It is intended to help you be more sexual with the wife that God intends you to have.   For single men, it is intended to make you want a wife more and too seek one out.  “He that FINDETH a wife findeth a good thing.”  And FINDING requires SEARCHING.  Porn with masturbation does not DECREASE a man’s desire for a woman.  It doesn’t “drain his balls” and “give him relief.”  Did you honestly think it did?  It makes him want a woman.  If he is a Christian, it makes him want a wife.

Having said all of that.  I know that almost all of the readers are yelling at their computer screen – “BUT THAT ISN’T THE WAY IT WORKS ANYMORE”   I know that.  I am a psychiatrist and I hear stories daily that would give you nightmares.  I know that this is not 1950 anymore.  I realize that people can find sex easily.  They can buy it  within a few hours and with a little more effort they can use the online apps to find hookups.  Quality sex robots are only months away.

Here is the key, the Bible was not written in 1950.  The ancient world had pervasive sexuality also.  Slaves had no rights and could be used at will.  Temple prostitutes were cheap.   Privacy was non-existent and nudity abounded.    Yet Paul tells the Corinthians “Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.” (I Cor 6:15)  In the midst of the Vegas of the ancient world.    God expected people to live like they were in 1950’s America.

I like sex.  I like to watch videos about sex, read stories about sex, and look at pictures of sex and sexy people.    This has done me well, because I have a great wife who I can be sexually intimate with.  We are close and become closer because of all of the sex that we have.  This is the purpose of erotica, this is the purpose of sex, and this is the purpose of marriage.

Why don’t we tell sex addicts to quit sex

Porn is not an addiction
Is the real purpose of the anti-porn crusaders anti-sex?

Sex and porn are not addictions because the treatment for “Sex Addiction” is not to quit sex.

There are two main reasons for people to call people’s sexual behavior an “addiction”.  The first one is to excuse their own behavior.  An example of this is this week’s Harvey Weinstein scandal.  A man caught in predatory behavior declares that he is now seeking treatment for “sex addiction.”

But it is not just the predators of the world who are pushing this agenda.  Most of it is by confused Christian leaders.  I think that the reason they are pushing it is because they feel guilty about their erotic desire and are trying to subsume their desire in fighting against other people having sex.   As I remember someone saying years ago (I don’t remember who) “Democrats view porn after they go to the store and buy it.  Republican view it together in anti-porn group meetings.”

There are addictions in the world.  Alcoholism, opoids, etc.  I am a doctor and I drink alcohol.  I have no problem with occasional moderate use.  But when I have a patient who is an alcoholic I tell them that they have to quit drinking.  I have occasionally, in order to get free parking downtown, gambled enough to get a card at the casino’s.  But I tell gambling addicts that they must not go near the place on any condition.

But there are several behaviors that are often over indulged in that are not addictions.  Overeating is not an addiction. Sleep is not an addiction.  Running is not an addiction.  Work is not an addiction.  Vacation is not an addiction.  The cure is not to stop eating, stop sleeping, stop exercising, stop working or never go on vacation.

But the hidden agenda of the anti-porn people is, let’s face it, to stop having sex.   Do an image search on Google for “quit sex” and this is what you get.


Image result for "quit sex"

And dozen’s more like it.

Oh yes, they tell you that sex is supposed to be holy in marriage, but if you read deeper, almost all of these people start making even more rules.  You will find that they often end up in marriages with no sex at all.  You will find that they are usually divorced.

Give up your own ways and start doing things God’s way.  Rejoice in your sexuality.  Watch some beautiful girls screw around, jack off with joy and let your spiritual energies be used in helping others.

Why #Christian #Pornography is healthy for men and couples

Porn is Healthy For Couples
A Husband is drawn closer to his wife when he views Erotica

So, it is my position that Christian men can view what is considered pornography (wrongly called, it should be erotica) without being wrong.   I say this for three reasons.  Firstly, holy erotica is God-ordained and inspired.  Secondly, it is healthy.  Thirdly, sincere holy men have been looking at “dirty” art for thousands of years without our religion being destroyed.

Firstly,  Erotica is God-ordained.   The Bible includes everything necessary for a Christian life.  God knew that people would be angry at life’s injustices, so he put in the book of Job.  He knew that people would question him, so he put in many of the Psalms and the book of Habakkuk.  He knew that people would feel hopeless as they approached old age, so he put in the book of Ecclesiastes.  Proverbs is filled with miscellaneous advice on thousands of important subjects.

And God knew that single people should be reminded how wonderful married love is, and he knew that married people would need to encourage their sexual desire so that it would not become humdrum.  So he put in the play of the Song of Solomon that includes nudity, erotica, and explicit sexual imagery.  Solomon had this play performed live in his court – in short – he had live sex shows, since video hadn’t been invented yet.  God included this “porn” (actually erotica) in his Bible for a reason.  That reason is to inform us that in our railing against adulter and fornication we should not forget that marital sex was invented by God for the pleasure of his people.

Secondly, Erotica is healthy.  Despite what you read about from non-physician, non-psychiatrist, pseudo-experts like “YourBrainOnPorn” Gary Wilson; studies do NOT show that your brain is harmed by viewing erotica.  In fact, a recent study showed that couples who overcome the imposed guilt of the legalistic churches were drawn closer together, even if the erotica was viewed alone.  If brains were truly damaged so badly by porn, then the 70% of men who ADMIT that the view porn regularly and the 29% who lie about it would be wandering the streets waiting to murder and rape women.   And yet, most marriages seem to survive and thrive in spite of these poor husbands’ brains being destroyed.  We would like to provide a study showing that marriages survive more when men view porn, but we can’t find any men who don’t watch porn.   The “Porn Addiction” so much quoted by these pseudo-experts simply doesn’t exist, which is why the psychiatrists did not include it as a diagnosis in the newly released Diagnostic Statistical Manual 5(DSM5).  Vegetarians want to define bacon as an addiction, and the new puritans want to define erotica as an addiction.  Neither is.

Thirdly, sincere Christian men are already viewing porn.  Yes, I know, Christians sin all the time.  But if the Holy Spirit is really guiding ANY Christians and God hates porn so much, then SOME of them should be overcoming.  Yet the studies show that there is no difference between the porn viewing habits of proclaiming Christians and non-believers.  That is because God is not helping men to overcome an act that he never forbade.

The church, dominated the dear sisters who don’t understand the biological desire that God gave all men  keep trying to accomplish the impossible.  The natural result is a church empty of men.  Pastors who counsel marital couples when the husbands porn “addiction” is discovered actually destroy the marriage.

Oh what peace we often forfeit, Oh what needless pain we bear.  All because we do not trust that Jesus, the eternal word of God, actually knew what he saying when he said:

Prov 5:19 Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.

Watch out, don’t use psych labels on others to behave badly yourself

A woman describes her sad story of being married to a narcissist

My heart goes out to her.  I am a psychiatrist who deals with narcissists on a regular basis and they are very, very difficult people.

But I am also a little wary.  People getting divorced almost always discover that their spouse had a personality disorder.

So, I want to give a word of warning to ladies reading this. Don’t be quick to make a psych diagnosis of your husband. Personality disorder diagnoses are easily given and often wrong – even by experts. They are also used as justification for mistreatment.

For example, a woman who struggles with Borderline Personality traits could write everything in the article and believe it all to be true, when the fact might be that she is the one with the personality disorder traits and is projecting her poor coping skills onto him.

In fact, every Borderline woman (and that is hundreds) that I have treated has told almost exactly this story – including the “Emotional Abuse” part.


I am saying that before you use the popular label “narcissist” to justify leaving your husband, consider the possibility that you may be the one in need of cognitive behavior modification

Remember When Interracial Marriage Was Forbidden By God

30 years ago today in Loving v Virginia, the Supreme Court ended bans on interracial marriage.

Do you remember how “Evil” black/white marriages used to be?  I am ashamed to say that I used to have some racist friends.  I told one of them, one time, that there was nothing wrong with it.  He blew up.  “It is Worse than Adultery”  No Christian could marry a (N-word).  God would bar the gates of heaven against such abominations.  They even had Bible to back them – Cain’s Mark, Ham’s curse, etc.

We now know that people didn’t get these opinions from the Bible, but from their traditions.  The Bible is very explicitly Anti-Racist and Anti-Sexist (“With God there is neither Greek nor Jew, Male nor Female” – Galations)

But people use the Bible to back up their opinions, not vice-versa.

So also the modern opinion of porn is not from the Bible, but from Victorian tradition.  It would be foreign to the writers or readers of either the Old or New Testaments.

Loose Lips (and Language) Sink Ships, Countries, and Marriages

So many people are saying that we are in a “Civil War” in the United States.   NO WE AREN’T and if we were then that would be terrifying and we ought to do everything in our power to make peace.

At Shiloh – just one battle of the Civil War – there were over 23 THOUSAND casualties.  That’s 9/11 times 7.  Come on, folks.  Let’s tighten up our language a bit before we start a LITERAL war.

Similarly, I wish my anti-Porn Christian friends would tighten up their language about “Addiction”  You don’t just toss around words like that loosely.  Porn is rarely an “Addiction”.   Addictions cost people their lives. I deal with Addicts every day.  They have lost everything with DUI’s, they stole from the Mothers, they couldn’t stop themselves even when it meant jail and even after and while they were IN jail.    Binge Eating disorder (food addiction) turns people in to thousand pound invalids inhaling whole bags of chips.

The only reason that porn causes breakups is because these “PornAddict” and “YourBrainOnPorn” advocates are telling women to break up with their husbands because of his “Addiction”.  If these frauds had left the family alone, then they would be close, intimate, and be having hot sex until they died.

Loose lips sink ships, and countries, and marriages.

Tighten up your language people.

The War On Naked Women

Church lady hates naked women
Put your clothes on girl

Rush Limbaugh’s undeniable truth of life says that feminism was created in order to give ugly women access to the mainstream.

I think that it’s not just the Feminists, but the church ladies also.  Not because they are ugly, but because they all THINK that they are ugly and every other woman is prettier.  They feel this way because they have been taught to uglify themselves in the name of Christ.

How else can you explain why churches hate erotic women so much when the Bible clearly likes them.  Solomon REALLY liked them.  David certainly enjoyed his housetop view.  Neither of these men were rebuked for the erotic thoughts, but for the action of stealing what was not theirs.  In fact, God approved of David’s sexual appetite. (II Sam 12:8)

Let me be clear, God is against fornication, adultery, prostitution, pimping, etc.  But he is not just neutral toward erotica, he actively promoted it.  The church ought to have the hottest women around.  The church ought to be filled with slavering men, waiting to marry one of these hotties.

The Freedom of Christ

Freedom from anti-erotica ordinances

Col 3:20 Wherefore if ye be dead with Christ from the rudiments of the world, why, as though living in the world, are ye subject to ordinances,  (Touch not; taste not; handle not;  Which all are to perish with the using;) after the commandments and doctrines of men? Which things have indeed a shew of wisdom in will worship, and humility, and neglecting of the body; not in any honour to the satisfying of the flesh.

The evangelical world is so consumed with making new commandments to destroy masculinity, that they cannot seem to concentrate on preaching things like the gospel of Jesus.

The commandment to not look at erotica, read about sex , or enjoy nude women comes from men and not from God.  The Bible is full of positive descriptions of sex and nude women.  Nudity was common in the ancient world.  Christians were nude in public when they were baptized.  Peter was nude when he worked.  The ladies that Paul preached to at the river were naked while they washed their clothes (poor people didn’t have multiple sets of clothing). Slaves were naked and “ashamed” of their nudity not because of sexual modesty but simply for their poverty.  No one had a problem with this hatred of sex.

The early church preached strongly again fornication.  Jesus and the disciples expected men to be faithful in their actions and in their minds.  Christian men didn’t seek opportunities (or desire to seek opportunities) to cheat.  But neither were they expected to never think about sex or look at the abundant erotic art that surrounded them.  The rich people were not commanded to strip the erotic murals from their houses.  (Check out the pictures from the ruins of Pompeii)

Seek those things which are above.  Stop  digging around to find something holy and natural with which to condemn your brethren.

#Mindfulness answer to #PornAddiction? This Psychiatrist says “NO”

Addiction is not a mood disorder
Mindfullness doesn’t cure addiction

The snake-oil salesmen of the “Christian” world are trying to cure men’s “Porn Addiction” with “Mindfulness”

No, No, No.

What is going on is a deceitful set of profit-seeking frauds (like Mark Wilson ) are attempting to latch onto the newest buzzwords (#Mindfulness, #Addiction, #Porn, and #PornAddiction) to make a buck off of sincere people who just want to serve God and live a good life.

Mindfulness is a technique of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) that seeks to help people overcome mood disorders.  These Mindfulness Based Therapy (MBT) techniques have been proven to be particularly effective in Borderline Personality Disorder , Panic Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), they can also have some effectiveness in depressive disorders.

The only way that MBT techniques work for addiction is by reducing the depression and mood disorders that underlie the addiction.

In other words, addicts use drugs, or gambling, or food or …whatever… in order to make themselves feel better when they are anxious or depressed.  So if they are BOTH depressed and addicted, the MBT will help with the depression and so also help with the addiction.

This study shows how this works

But Mindfulness is NOT USEFUL TO CURE ADDICTION by itself.

Let me explain why.  MBT teaches the patient to pay attention to the PRESENT state of his own mind and correct his beliefs and attitudes about that state of mind.

For example, in panic disorder, the patient experiences frequent periods of horrifying panic.  Their heart races, they sweat, they believe they are going to die.   Mindfulness teaches them to say, “I am now entering a state called panic.  I feel like I am going to die, but this feeling is not true.  In a few minutes I am going to feel better, my heartbeat will return to normal and I will feel fine.”  In short, the fact that they are paying attention to their state of mind, instead of the fear, reduces the fear.

Now, let’s apply this to addiction.  The addict begins to experience withdrawals.  Mindfulness says, “I am now entering a state called withdrawal, my heart is racing, I am sweating, and I will continue feeling bad until I get a fix.”  Is this really going to work?  No.

The treatment for addiction is, in fact, the opposite.  The recovering addict must pay attention to the HOPE for the FUTURE, not the PRESENT.  “In a few months, in a few years, I am going to be a better person, I will be proud of myself, therefore I will put off the temptations of the PRESENT for the FUTURE hope.”

Now, let’s apply to this “Sex” or “Porn” addiction.  Firstly, it doesn’t exist.  Sex is self-limiting.  After having received the “fix” of an orgasm, the “addict” has a certain amount of recovery period.  If he/she then repeats the sexual experience it is less rewarding, etc.  Finally after 5, 6, 10, whatever successive experiences he no longer wishes to have sex for some longer period of time.   This is the OPPOSITE of addiction.

Well, you say, what about serial adulterers/ child molesters/rapists etc.  These are entirely different situations and they have little to do with “addiction.”  They are personality disorders.  They do not hit the same areas of the brain and have completely different treatments (for example, divorce, prison and the electric chair)

Finally, “Porn Addiction”.  Like “Sex Addiction” it doesn’t exist.  Oh yes, there are men who sit all day and do nothing but porn, but the reason that they are doing this is not because they can’t get away from it, but rather that they are depressed, anxious, or bored to tears.

Ok, so what about the guy who can’t stop using porn even though his wife is watching him like a prison guard and threatens to divorce him the next time she catches the browser history uncleared.

This guy is no more “addicted” to porn than a concentration camp survivor is addicted to food.   He is being imprisoned away from the Godly desires that God implanted in him.   Instead of cutting off his balls, he needs to grow some and instruct his wife in Godly doctrine.

What REAL experts say about #porn

In Moderation Porn is Healthy

Huge amounts of destructive guilt is imposed upon healthy sincere Christian men for normal, Godly behavior – looking at and reading erotica, and despite what Grandma said, masturbation will not grow hair on your palms or strike you blind.

The guilt is unnecessary.  There is nothing wrong with textual and visual erotica.

  • God, himself, told us that sex is healthy and part of normal married life.
  • Masturbation is healthy and part of every man’s and most women’s lives.
  • Reading and looking at erotica is healthy and part of every man and woman’s life.

God told us this by giving instructions about what to do after masturbating and married sex (exactly the same thing – take a bath) (Lev 15:16-18).

God wrote erotica in the Song of Solomon with explicit descriptions of the female and male bodies and many depictions of sex acts, including fellatio, cunnilingus, and masturbation.

Christians and Jews in the ancient world were surrounded by and often created visual art depicting the nude form and sex acts, and yet there is no instruction to avoid seeing OR OWNING any of these pieces of art.

Gary Wilson (@YourBrainOnPorn) is a fraud, not a doctor, not a psychologist, not an expert

NOT a doctor

Peter warned against men who “through covetousness shall they with feigned words make merchandise of you”.  The newest form of this treachery is in the Christian “Mindfulness” counselors who want to get paid in order to “cure” sincere Christian men’s “Porn Addiction”

The number one guy out there pushing this “Your Brain On Porn” is Gary Wilson.  Who is this guy?  Is he a doctor?  A Psychologist? NO


He is “adjunct faculty at Southern Oregon University, he taught anatomy and physiology labs.”  In other words, he was a minor tech in the anatomy lab at a 3rd rate state university.  Any medical student in the country knows more than him.  He has never been trained on how to evaluate studies for quality, or how to form a Clinical Based Evidence (CBE) question.

When deciding to become the leading “expert” of “Your Brain On Porn” he didn’t even bother to go back to school and get a doctoral degree in neurology or Psychology or Psychiatry.  No, “Gary’s passion is neuroscience, and he spends many hours scanning the Web and integrating the latest discoveries.”

I spent over a decade of my life becoming a psychiatrist so that I could help individuals.  But Gary became an “expert” for millions of people by using Google.  He does no original research.  A search of the National Institutes of Health reveal he has never published a single peer-reviewed article

National Institutes of Health search

This man is a fraud who makes money off of the guilt he imposes of sincere Christian Men


#Pornography decreases crime.

I know it will rain on some people’s parade, but pornography does not increase sex crimes.  In fact the opposite is true

Porn Decreases Sex Crimes

A study published in 2010 in “Archives of Sexual Behavior” showed that when porn became available in the Czech republic after decades of being outlawed the incidence of sex crimes went DOWN not up.  This echoes the same trend found in other countries like Denmark and Japan

When you compress men’s natural desires to view sex, the resultant explosion is not good for them or anyone else

Scientists do not believe “Your Brain On Porn” nonsense


Follow this link to see the it proven – Nonsense

People with higher libidos look at more porn – Who knew.

The studies supposedly “proving” porn addiction did not do before and after studies.  They just looked at people who viewed more porn and compared them with people who viewed less.  They discovered that WOW, people who looked at porn more liked sex.

Duh.  And this is wondeful fact is supposed to cause Christians to make up a new sin why?


Forget facts, My mind is made up #PostTruth

Just read NRO’s Jonah Goldberg’s eagerly awaited “G-File” for the week.  (@JonahNRO).  Jonah is always fun to read because he has an almost Jane Austin ability to make a phrase both insightful and funny.

But it is a shame that I already knew what I was going to read.  Because Jonah, like everyone else in America, already have their (our) minds made up.  The hearing this week didn’t change anyone’s opinions.  We all just took out the parts that supported our pre-existing opinions and used them to support.  My twitter feed (@EdLongshank) has both liberals and conservatives (since porn is bipartisan 🙂 and no one said yesterday, “Eureka, If I had known this I would have had a different opinion”

On other subjects that I have debated – Porn (this blog), Young Earth Creationism/Evolution, Medical Herbal remedies, Vaccinations – I have rarely met anyone who actually cared about the evidence.  More likely the would take William Jennings Bryan position (“The people of Nebraska are for free silver, so I am for free silver, I will come up with the reasons later”)

This has not always been so.  There was a day when a man could say – “Every man thinks he is right on everything, but experience teaches him that he is wrong on some.  He knows not which” (I don’t remember the source of this quote).  But few men ever says that anymore.   I have changed my mind on every one of the controversial issues listed above, but I know of few others who have.

I used to think that people believed things because they thought that they were true – otherwise they would not “believe” them.  I said this to a young patient the other day and she looked confused.  In her world belief is not a matter of truth, but of choice.  If you choose to “believe” something that you don’t BELIEVE IS TRUTH, then evidence is meaningless.

This is why the president’s new meme “FAKE NEWS” doesn’t mean untrue facts, it means “statements that I don’t like”

I won’t get into who started this.  I noticed it first during the OJ Simpson trial and it got worse during the Clinton years, but it was probably around before then.

I hate to be all apocalyptic and say, “THE END IS NIGH” but I think that it may be.

A “Christian” lying in defense of his #WarOnPorn

The studies quoted by Gary Wilson do not support the conclusions that he comes to.  His dishonesty is sad because he likely believes his conclusion and believes that he is serving God by his falsehood.  But God doesn’t need a liar to win his battles.

His conclusion is that porn USE is equivalent to ADDICTION and makes addictive changes in the brain.  This is simply not true.


Let’s go through his studies.  He states that EVERY study supports his conclusions and NO study contradicts it.   Is this true?

No it is not.  He is lying about EVERY SINGLE STUDY.



#1 Neuroscience of internet pornography addiction

Let’s see what this article says

It quotes the consensus of the Psychiatric research right now.

“Excessive use of the Internet not involving playing of online games (e.g., excessive use of social media, such as Facebook; viewing pornography online) is not considered analogous to Internet gaming disorder, and future research on other excessive uses of the Internet would need to follow similar guidelines as suggested herein.”

And then says that the newer studies indicate that Facebook, porn and other excessive uses could also be linked to Internet Gaming Disorder

In other words, this article is NOT stating that porn USE is addictive, but rather that porn CAN be addictive just as Internet Gaming, Facebook and twitter can be addictive.

The article specifically differentiates between HEALTHY men who view porn and UNHEALTHY men who are addicted.   It specifically compares it to other addictions like alcohol and gambling addiction.  That moderate use is NOT unhealthy.

He is lying about this study


#2 Sex Addiction as a Disease: Evidence for Assessment, Diagnosis, and Response to Critics (2015)

He states that this study takes on criticisms of Sex Addiction and debunks them.  And it does, but it does so in a way that he doesn’t want to admit

“Research on addictive behaviors, such as food addiction, gambling addition, and internet addiction, has continued to reveal that there are many common mechanisms. In fact, the brain reward circuitry exists to motivate people biologically to eat (food) and procreate (sex) to ensure individual and collective survival. ”

In other words, this article is stating that people CAN be addicted to sex just like they CAN be addicted to food, the internet, or gambling.  We don’t tell people that if they eat food then they are an addict, so also we shouldn’t tell me that if they see porn they will become an addict

#3 Neurobiology of Compulsive Sexual Behavior: Emerging Science (2016).

He quotes an article “proving” that some people have compulsive sexual behavior….. So what?  Immediately stop having sex or else!!!!!!!

I could go on, but the intellectual dishonesty is getting on my nerves.  I should hit one more, though.   The study mentioned in #1 that it “Critiques” is actually study #9.  Now, which is the one he wants us to pay attention to — #1 or #9.  I thought that all “agreed” and there was no study contradicting it.

Finally, the author is pulling the “Scientific Consensus” argument out of his bag.  Like the Global Warmists he tells the uneducated that we Scientists have decided and “The Science is Settled”  The problem with his statement is that these articles are arguing against one another and against the current consensus that Sex Addiction doesn’t exist.  If scientists are all in agreement, why are they critiquing one another’s studies.

I have seen a lot of Christians taking God’s name in vain by using his name to command us all to cease looking at erotica.  But this author changes his tactic and takes the name of Science in vain.  Maybe it’s not a sin, but it is more dishonest because everyone can read the Bible but only a few people can see his scientific lying.

Porn is not Addiction


Porn is no more an “addiction” than food, sugar, coffee or marital sex.  I say this not as a matter of opinion, but as a psychiatrist and a scientist.


People think “addicted” means anything that we use on a regular basis that is difficult or impossible to stop.   And, yes, by this definition porn is an addiction.  Christian men the world over have tried to resist this “tempation” and failed.  If you find a Christian who is declaring his victory, then you and he both know he isn’t victorious, he is just on hiatus.

But addiction requires something more than a need.  Because, as I said before, by this definition coffee, sugar, marital sex, food, and even sleep itself would be addiction.  Yes, there are people (for example diabetics) so addicted to sugar that they continue to use it despite the fact that it is literally killing them.

Addiction requires something else besides regular use, “Continued use DESPITE persistent or recurring social or interpersonal problems caused or made worse by use”

And here is where porn does not meet the definition for most men.  Oh yes, porn does cause difficulty in a marriage with a ball-busting woman raised in the modern feminized church.  But the problem, in that case, is not him, but her.  She is the one who is addicted to her self-righteousness that goes to women’s meetings where they discuss “intimacy issues” and get themselves aroused and then go home to a husband who does not have such a stimulus.  Instead, he goes to men’s meetings where his sexuality is attacked and insulted.  Where he is told to give up red meat and eat only gluten-free food and be a proper little eunuch.

In the normal course of of a healthy and Godly marriage, the man looks at porn 1 to 6 times each week, becomes aroused and makes love to his wife however many times each week that they find time and opportunity to do so.  It doesn’t cause a problem.  He is not unable to attend to his financial, career, or marital duties as a result of his porn use.

Therefore he is not addicted.

Now, I do have patients who look at porn and masturbate all day long, but this is rare and almost universally associated with mental retardation.  It can also be associated with extreme depression, but the problem goes away when you fix the depression.

I do find, however, any number of men who have driven themselves into a depression by the guilt placed upon their sexual behaviors, not by God, and not by the Bible, but rather by the men’s traditions or their church or their wife.

Why I couldn’t conquer my #PornAddiction

Watching Porn

For 40 years I tried to conquer my “Porn Addiction”  I would occasional confess all to my wife, other times sneak out to the magazine wrack. At times I made it whole months before falling back.

I finally realized why I couldn’t conquer it.  God won’t help you avoid that which he has created you to enjoy.

I am a psychiatrist and I deal with people’s addictions all of the time.  In order for something to be an addiction it has to have a significant negative effect on a person’s life.

But the fact is that the only negative effect porn has on a person’s life is the effect that is CREATED BY THE SHAME-ON-YOU attitude of OTHER PEOPLE.

Let me give an example.  Coffee and Sugar are “addictions” if you define them only as the brain having a certain dopamine reaction to their consumption.  If you imaged my brain, you would find that my wife is my “addiction” in the sense that I can’t stand not being with her, I would go into a severe withdrawal depression if she died.

When I married her, there was a lot of opposition from her family.  It caused a lot of difficulties between them.  But that did not make our love an “addiction” because the harm to our life was not from our love itself, but from other people’s reaction to it.

Similarly, when our Christian society gets over its unbiblical opposition to eroticism, then we will find out that porn is rarely an “addiction” at all.

For Holy Porn


So this article is how  porn has destroyed the lives of the actors and actresses.  I agree, many people have been destroyed by participating in porn.  But why is this?  Is it because erotica is bad, or is it because Christians have turned over this powerful tool to the sinners.

The Netflix movie “When porn Ends”  explores what happens in the lives of the porn actors and actresses.  Some of them have bad lives.

But WHY do they have bad lives.  Because the porn industry is “sinful” that is, the Christian churches have decided that you cannot be a Christian and be erotic (or masculine).

What if, just what if, we actually lived the life of the early Christians and Jews.  What if we had their attitude toward sex.  That sex within marriage was not only good, it was also not something to be hidden.  That seeing nudity (or being naked in public, like they often were) was not “public indecency”

Could Christian married couples make films that inluded porn and erotica, that showed them in holy sex.  Couldn’t we have a film that depicted married sex (without editing) as holy, that treated adultery (which could be depicted on scene with married actors) as something that would lead to sorrow and death.  Couldn’t we have #HolyPorn

Yes, right now that is not in existence.  But it could be, and it could be done quickly by any young Christian filmmaker who wanted to make a name for himself.

God wrote Porn

It’s time for all of these anti-porn Christians to admit that the Bible is full of “porn” (meaning erotica).

Oh, didn’t you love the Children’s song.  “His Banner over me is Love”

Um, folks.  A banner is on a um, pole.  So, the lover took his love into the “banqueting” room and provided her a “banner” to eat.

Then note this passage.

Song of Solomon 5:4 My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him.  I rose up to open to my beloved; and my hands dropped with myrrh, and my fingers with sweet smelling myrrh, upon the handles of the lock. I opened to my beloved; but my beloved had withdrawn himself.

The Myrrh, here folks is not an herb, and the hole of the door is not made of wood.

And those references to Lily’s and gardens of lilies.  Folks, he wasn’t talking about flowers.


Losing both sides of the masculinity Debate

Heat Street has this article out


It is frustrating that this article is a surrender to both sides of the masculinity debate.

On the one side, we have boys being told to “not treat girls like sex objects.”

Hate to tell you this, but the reason that boys treat girls like sex objects is because they have cojones.  Until we create a race of people who sexless men, boys will always use the nearest girl for his masturbatory fantasy.  The horror of expecting boys to not think about girls as sex objects is happening on both sides of the “culture war”.  James Dobson expects boys to jerk off without thinking about girls.  On the other side, the Social Justice Warriors want boys to not be boys at all, but little eunuchs who only provide sperm down at the bank for properly informed lesbian couples to use to create “Heather has two mommies” properly socialized families.

On the other side, boys are allowed to use terms like “THOT” (that ho over there) because they are not being taught that you can sexually desire a female and still treat her with respect.

I don’t know about you, but I think Jesse Jane, Carter Cruise, and Riley Reid (if you don’t want to look at nekkid women, don’t do a google search on those names) deserve to be treated with respect just like my wife and daughter.  My Mama taught me never to use insulting terms about ANY woman.

To love and erotically desire women and still treat them with respect is the essence of masculinity.

The emasculating wife

Here is another example of a woman trying to make her husband a girl.  It’s not enough to have a faithful husband who loves her with all of her heart, works hard, supports the family, raises the kids, goes to church, loves God and would never, ever cheat on her, either in his heart, mind, or body.  No, he has to deny his manhood and cut off his balls for her.  He has to pretend that he doesn’t like looking at nekkid wemmin

It’s sad that the church backs this.  It is the biggest reason why the churches are empty of men above the age of 13.  Thank God my wife wants me to be a man.

Wifey Wednesday: Is Porn Cheating?


Church Ladies: Stop Feminizing Christ

Church Lady

The church was full last Sunday.  HUNDREDS of people worshiping God.

And DOZENS of men.

Why have the men abandoned church?  I submit that American evangelical religion has been feminized.  When the church gets around to preaching Normal behavior of men has been criminalized.

Going fishing with a cooler of beer and talking about women is sinful; looking at naked women is the “number one sin issue facing the church today.”  But a women’s “retreat” discussing “intimacy issues” with a wine and cheese social afterwards is “a good example of how the church can relate to the modern family.”

We can get a special church meeting together to discuss the “health” issues of weight loss, but when is the last time that the church organized a trip to a cage fight.  But I’ll guarantee you that men doing Mixed Martial Arts training are pretty damn healthy.

This Christian blogger condemns the Bible and himself at the same time


Here’s another example of a poor guy who is trying to overcome his regular porn habit by being spiritual about how other people shouldn’t do it.

Here’s his anti-porn argument.  After explicitly including audio, visual, text, pictures, or animation he says

“using porningraphy we are bringing people and activities outside of a Godly marriage into our sex lives, which God has bounded by marriage and love”

How nice that he has added a new command to the Bible. The Bible says nothing about not hearing, seeing, talking about, or drawing sex scenes or the human body.  In fact, in contradiction to this it clearly talks about all of these things, itself.  Solomon is a great sinner this way. But not just Solomon, but GOD HIMSELF becomes a pornographer by his argument, since, remember, all scripture is GOD-BREATHED. But not just Solomon but even Moses becomes a pornographer “And Adam Knew His Wife”  A useless bit of information since it states that Eve got pregnant.

The “Knight” then makes a little better of an argument.  “Much of what is depicted in porn is expressly forbidden by God. ”  Ok, then. We didn’t like ungodly books, so we encouraged some Christians to write Godly books. We got Grace Livingston Hill, Janette Oke etc etc.

But no, the Knight declares, this isn’t good enough because even if we watch a Godly married couple having sex we are somehow committing adultery with them.  Why, because of what is going on in OUR minds.  And here is where the Knight condemns himself.  He states that the man watching porn thinks

“I wish I was there with her, I wish my spouse would do that, I wish my spouse was that fit…”

That’s pretty amazing that he has read my mind this was, because the fact is that I DON’T THINK ANY OF THESE THINGS.   Oh yes, I admire a fine figured woman and I appreciate a beautiful actresses face.  I even admire a guy who has a fine-chiseled chest.  But I don’t want to dump my wife (or my wife to dump me) to get these things.

On the other hand, this guy sure knows a lot about what a man is thinking when he watches porn.. I wonder how he figured that all out…

Let’s face it, because he has ( and don’t lie, DOES ) porn on a not irregular basis. Oh I’m sure he feels very, very guilty about it.   He spends a lot of his time being very judgmental about porn as a result.   Maybe he ought to give up his attempts to stop watching porn and spend more time trying to love his wife.

He then goes onto advice about how to overcome this problem in himself.  Notice that all of his actions are physical. He puts filters on his computer, he goes and confesses at celebrate recovery.  If he really believed that God was so against porn, don’t you think God would help him overcome.

The fact is that God does not lead us into temptation that we can’t bear.  The fact that so many (let’s face, every male with very rare pathological exceptions) Christians cannot live above this “sin” should prove something – even if the Bible’s explicit endorsement of erotic literature in Song of Solomon wasn’t enough.


Remember, Honey, I’m still a guy

I'm Still A Guy

One of the most annoying modern movements of today is the emasculation of men.  I would be less annoyed about it if only it weren’t the Christian women who are the worst at it.

God created men.  He likes masculinity.  He likes a men to get dirty, greasy, to mow their lawns shirtless and sweaty.  To act like Tommy Lee Jones when they are challenged.

And you know what.  Men like to look at naked women.  Always have, always will.  And God doesn’t mind that at all.

How to destroy a sincere Christian young man



Look how these good Christian sisters – Sisters who believe that they are trying to change the anti-sex reflex of Christianity destroy this honest young man.

He asks how he can find a wife who will be assured of a wife who will meet his sexual needs.  He “confesses” to masturbating every day and giving in to the “temptation” of porn.  Instead of helping him, they proceed to destroy his confidence in his faith. They tell him that he is not ready for marriage because he cannot “control” his porn “addiction”.

Again, this is a case where Christians directly contradict the Bible in trying to turn men into feminized, emasculated imitation of a man.  I Corinthians 7 tells us that marriage is for the purpose of directing the normal, biological drives. “It is better to marry than to burn.”  Yet these emasculating women tell him he shouldn’t get married until he can “control” himself.

Folks, stop trying to turn everyone into your idolatrous image of God and let God do his own work.

Giving our whole lives fighting a battle God never asked us to join


This poor guy is determined to help men be better Christians.

One blog EVERY Christian couple needs to read about PORN addictions

Giving our whole life to fight against what?  Not against lust, the guy has no desire to cheat on his wife.  He has no desire to commit adultery.  No he is fighting against something that God made his body to do – look at and become aroused at the sight and description of females and sex with females.

What is the poor Christian man to do who falls for this “commandment of men.”  Will he have to imitate the sad church father Origin and cut off his own balls?

Why Tempt God?

Peter, talking to the council at Jerusalem in Acts 15:10 said, “Now therefore why tempt ye God, to put a yoke upon the neck of the disciples, which neither our fathers nor we were able to bear?”

Let’s face it, guys, this commandment to fight erotic arousal has burdened the church and caused it to become 80% female, because no man can bear it.  We are fighting against nature and frankly, we are fighting against God when we command men to act against their own biology.

Am I just rationalizing my bad behavior?

So, I have to ask myself – Am I just making this argument because I want to look at porn and still go to church and identify as a Christian.

Yes – and No.

I believe in Veritas – in Truth.  I believe in Truth when it hurts me.  But I also believe in it when the Truth, “sets me free.”

I lived for decades attempting to control my erotic impulses.  I felt guilty each time I indulged.  My wife and I had many a tearful confession time.  I did not, during those decades, attempt to rationalize my behavior or excuse it.  I attempted to pray, to become more holy, to redirect my desires in “holy” directions.  I memorized dozens of chapters of the Bible to quote during times of temptation.

Why didn’t I examine the Bible and see if all of my unsuccessful efforts were unnecessary?  Because – of course – I didn’t want to simply justify my bad behavior by scriptural reinterpretation.

But, sometimes, just sometimes, the reason I am fighting so hard and failing is because God never intended me to fight that battle in the first place.


Letting the anti-porn people have their chance

This website argues against Christian erotica. He does as good of a job as can be done – meaning he does very poorly, indeed.


His argument is that “sex should only be shared between a husband and a wife.” The author is being deceitful here. He gets you to agree to add this word “only” and it seems reasonable. He then interprets the word maximally and pretends that you have agreed to this maximal interpretation.

So he says that masturbation is wrong because it is not shared between a husband and a wife. Stories of a virgin Christian couple’s honeymoon night is just a “lesser” evil because it is not shared “only” between a husband and wife.

So he has made his own reducto ad absurdum here. Masturbation was not discovered suddenly during Woodstock in 1969. It has been around since Adam took his first shower underneath the garden’s waterfall. Yet, somehow, God never thought it was important enough to include it in his very specific lists of forbidden sexual activities. Similarly, the author forbids publication of a married couples sex stories, but finds excuses for why the Song of Solomon is somehow only “informative” and not erotic.

As a psychiatrist, I understand what this poor guy is doing. He has a strong delusion. A fixed, false belief that is not subject to the normal restrictions of logic and reasoning. “Being aroused without a wife is wrong.” He knows that he is often aroused by sexual thoughts. He is engaging in the defense mechanisms of isolation, intellectualization, rationalization and deflection/denial to keep himself from admitting his problem. Because he is only “informing” his readers about sexual sin, he can become aroused during this discussion without feeling guilty. He then goes and humps his wife while feeling holy.


Guys, God said that when you jack off – take a shower and wash your shorts.

Leviticus 15:16 And if any man’s seed of copulation go out from him, then he shall wash all his flesh in water, and be unclean until the even.
17 And every garment, and every skin, whereon is the seed of copulation, shall be washed with water, and be unclean until the even.
18 The woman also with whom man shall lie with seed of copulation, they shall both bathe themselves in water, and be unclean until the even.

In other words, masturbation and couple sex is treated EXACTLY THE SAME WAY.

Masturbation was not suddenly discovered at Woodstock in 1969. It has been around since Adam took his first shower in Eden’s waterfall. If God had a problem with it, he would have told us.

Oh, what peace we often forfeit. Oh, what needless pain we bear

Flagellating ourselves over Godly behavior
I must overcome my natural God-given love of porn

In the attached link, a sincere Christian man is teaching other men how to fight down their “lust” (meaning their sexual desires). Look at how wide a battle front he must fight on. He forbids girls to let their thighs show. He forbids dancing. He forbids men to take off our shirts to swim. He has accepted the world’s definition that lasciviousness (lustful desire) is the same thing as erotic arousal.

So he declares war on Sex. Like Don Quixote he goes out to tilt at windmills, “To dream the impossible dream and fight the unbeatable foe, to march into hell for a heavenly cause.”

Now, it is true that you might be able to turn yourself into a barely sexual being, someone capable of siring children, but unable to sustain a hot, passionate relationship throughout life. The strategy is to starve the beast. Forbid any sexual thought, Turn your eyes away from every piece of exposed skin. Spend your entire emotional energy on one single goal – fight against erotic arousal. Let the beast out only in a dark bedroom – preferably under sheets with pajamas nearby.

It is even better if you live in a walled-in compound with women who all agree to help you never see any “immodest” apparel.

You might even succeed. If you do, then you have my pity. What’s more, you don’t have God’s help in your fight.

But you will probably lose, and badly, just as all the other sincere Christian men who have been trying this strategy for the past 50 years have been losing. How many good sisters have been blanketed in quilted clothes for decades in the name of helping men fight this unconquerable beast? And how many times have they been horrified to discover the internet search history he forgot to hide. How much money was spent on “dirty” magazines that were then thrown in the trash in an orgy of guilt after the underwear were washed?

Because LUST IS NOT EROTIC AROUSAL. Lust is the desire, intent, or plan to seduce a woman that is not yours. But if a man is aroused with the intent of fulfilling his desire in a lawful way, then his arousal is not lust, it is not lascivious and it is not sin.

Jesus was nude in public (on purpose)

Jesus was naked in front of hundreds of people when the voice from heaven said, “This is my beloved son in whom I am well-pleased”

I have proof.

Yes, I know you can’t believe it. Our nudity taboo is so bred into us since Victorian times that it rises to the level of delusion. But the early Christians were baptized naked. The men who were told the story by people who were there (people who lived in the 1st and 2nd centuries) all painted pictures of Christ naked during his baptism. Yes, completely naked, locker room shower naked. It wasn’t until centuries later that we got more holy than Jesus.

Here is a good link to a page that does a good job listing the evidence.

This guy is so offended by the truth that he descends into the “No True Scotsman” logical fallacy in order to disprove it.

Avert your eyes! Dominoes Pizza Commercial!

During an NFL game, Domino’s pizza runs a commercial showing a tasty pizza. My desire for pizza is inflamed. I call Dominoes and order pizzas for me and all my living room friends who showed up for the plasma screen. I didn’t “lust” after the pizza. I didn’t break into Dominoes and steal the pizza that was shown. Instead, I followed the lawful process of obtaining the pizza that I could afford and was available to me. I had no intention of breaking the law to obtain the pizza. So it was not lust. It was desire. It was, in fact, normal and even Godly desire.

Now, during the same game, an internet hosting company runs a commercial with a girl in a wet tee shirt (you know the one I am talking about).  My desire for sex is inflamed.  After the game I go to the bedroom with my wife and make love.  I didn’t attempt to contact the girl on the screen. I didn’t want to break into the internet company’s headquarters and kidnap her for my own.  I did not break my morals to fulfill my desire.

Please tell me the difference?