Watch out, don’t use psych labels on others to behave badly yourself

A woman describes her sad story of being married to a narcissist

My heart goes out to her.  I am a psychiatrist who deals with narcissists on a regular basis and they are very, very difficult people.

But I am also a little wary.  People getting divorced almost always discover that their spouse had a personality disorder.

So, I want to give a word of warning to ladies reading this. Don’t be quick to make a psych diagnosis of your husband. Personality disorder diagnoses are easily given and often wrong – even by experts. They are also used as justification for mistreatment.

For example, a woman who struggles with Borderline Personality traits could write everything in the article and believe it all to be true, when the fact might be that she is the one with the personality disorder traits and is projecting her poor coping skills onto him.

In fact, every Borderline woman (and that is hundreds) that I have treated has told almost exactly this story – including the “Emotional Abuse” part.

NOTE: I AM NOT CLAIMING THAT THE AUTHOR IS THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM.

I am saying that before you use the popular label “narcissist” to justify leaving your husband, consider the possibility that you may be the one in need of cognitive behavior modification

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